spw184
August 9th, 2011, 08:09 PM
This is a rant, if you do not like rants. Close this window now. Also, Please dont rant on me about high school drama, maybe this is, but it still affects me nonetheless. I also do not know if this is in the right place. Feel free to move
Mmk, so, im 15 and i am having major issues with relationships. First off, I am a guy and although I do not like saying it directly like this, I am gay. My only problem is, is that my best friend that is a male, is also #1 on my "Spontaniously mount" list. For the longest time, I have just told myself that Im gay, He's straight, I have no chance, end of story. But for some odd reason (Maybe wishfull thinking) I have been getting the feeling he might be bi, but im not sure. I for the most part stopped thinking about him 24/7 about, oh... a month ago. Un/fortunetly His brother is in a band and i went to the concert. Bad mistake. Now for the past 3 days, I have gone back to the 24/7 cycle of anger-depression-acceptance-anger. I mean i dont know why this set me off, I had been talking to him quite often over facebook and emails, but just actually seeing him IRL was too much.
To make matters worse, Because he is straight and the concert took place in a clubish setting. I got to see vivid images of him grinding and making out with girls. Several. It pisses me off, seeing others be perfectly happy with him and having me have to be on the sidelines being his "bro" I almost blew my cool at the concert and wanted to break the bi***** f****** legs. I left promptly after it ended to avoid anything happening backstage.
I dont know what to do. Only like 2 people know im gay, One hates me but wont tell. (Whole nother story) And this guy isnt in that catagory. Actually, im not even sure what I was going to ask, or what I was going to do, or even what the fu***** hell im doing here typing this. Whatever post what you want.
Mmk, so, im 15 and i am having major issues with relationships. First off, I am a guy and although I do not like saying it directly like this, I am gay. My only problem is, is that my best friend that is a male, is also #1 on my "Spontaniously mount" list. For the longest time, I have just told myself that Im gay, He's straight, I have no chance, end of story. But for some odd reason (Maybe wishfull thinking) I have been getting the feeling he might be bi, but im not sure. I for the most part stopped thinking about him 24/7 about, oh... a month ago. Un/fortunetly His brother is in a band and i went to the concert. Bad mistake. Now for the past 3 days, I have gone back to the 24/7 cycle of anger-depression-acceptance-anger. I mean i dont know why this set me off, I had been talking to him quite often over facebook and emails, but just actually seeing him IRL was too much.
To make matters worse, Because he is straight and the concert took place in a clubish setting. I got to see vivid images of him grinding and making out with girls. Several. It pisses me off, seeing others be perfectly happy with him and having me have to be on the sidelines being his "bro" I almost blew my cool at the concert and wanted to break the bi***** f****** legs. I left promptly after it ended to avoid anything happening backstage.
I dont know what to do. Only like 2 people know im gay, One hates me but wont tell. (Whole nother story) And this guy isnt in that catagory. Actually, im not even sure what I was going to ask, or what I was going to do, or even what the fu***** hell im doing here typing this. Whatever post what you want.