This is me and i need help

[Charlotte93]

My name is Cori, ( yes it's a girls name too) and i started cutting when i was 12. I'v been cutter sober for 4 weeks now and i just feel like giving in. I threw away all my blades about a week ago but that didn't even fase me becuase i can just tare up another razor. I just need an out right now. Nothings even really that bad besides the fact that i have no idea where my brother is and i miss him or maybe it's the fact that even though i stoped cutting i still find ways to hurt myself( not in the phisical way but emotonaly) and i mean if I'm still hurting myself emotinoaly then why am i even trying if i am obveously still try to hurt myself.

I knew somthing like this was going to happen after a grate weekend i always feel soo happy untill im alone and then it hits me, just how lonly i am. Just how forgetable i am. When im alone i realize that nobody truly knows me and that i will probably be alone for a long time. I just want it to end, would it really be so bad to be selfish this one time and take my life? I already know it would be it just seems so easy to go that way.

[AppealToReason]

I often feel the same way you do, but please don't cut. It's great that you've made it 4 weeks and I'd hate for you to ruin that.
Try to distract yourself and relax, watch a movie, read a book or listen to some music. Just try to get your mind off of the depressing thoughts.
If you really do want help, ask your parents to get you a therapist. If you can't yet, that's understandable. Posting here like you did is also a good thing so you know you aren't alone.
As cliche as it sounds, you have to keep fighting, Cori. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you've come a long way and still have a long way to go, so please don't give up. It may not feel like it a times, but things can and will get better for you if you keep fighting.

[Amaryllis]

You are never alone because you always have you. Relying on others for comfort means giving them the ability to let you down. Relying on others for love is creating the power to hate. Relying on others for your happiness will mean you will never be truly happy.

You've come so far. Don't let it all go now. You deserve more than that. You're worth recovery. You will always have you. Learn to be okay with being on your own. We're all alone yet together in a way.

It's like you're running up an escalator that's running down. I used to think I was all alone running up that stupid escalator, trying to reach the top but now I realise I'm not. We're all running up the goddamn escalator, it's just a gigantic, ridiculously high and super fast escalator. Just grab someone's hand if you ever need a lift. But in the end, only your legs can take you up. Someone can carry but they'll never be able to carry you all the way.

Hold on if you feel like letting go. Hold on, it gets better than you know :)

Love,
Faith And Trust

[AppealToReason]

It's like you're running up an escalator that's running down. I used to think I was all alone running up that stupid escalator, trying to reach the top but now I realise I'm not. We're all running up the goddamn escalator, it's just a gigantic, ridiculously high and super fast escalator. Just grab someone's hand if you ever need a lift. But in the end, only your legs can take you up. Someone can carry but they'll never be able to carry you all the way.


I love the way you worded this.
Should make it into a sig for whenever I feel upset...

[Amaryllis]

@Michael
Haha, thanks :) I got the escalator thing when I was anorexic. Anorexia was crap btw. I think it's 10 thousand times worst than self harm. I'm really glad the words helped though(if it did). Take care :)

Oh and charlotte, it's not selfish to want to die. You gotta live for you. Not anyone else. But that doesn't mean you should because you just don't know. You could be something great. You may recover. What may seem impossible today, may not be so hard tomorrow.

[Charlotte93]

You are never alone because you always have you. Relying on others for comfort means giving them the ability to let you down. Relying on others for love is creating the power to hate. Relying on others for your happiness will mean you will never be truly happy.

You've come so far. Don't let it all go now. You deserve more than that. You're worth recovery. You will always have you. Learn to be okay with being on your own. We're all alone yet together in a way.

It's like you're running up an escalator that's running down. I used to think I was all alone running up that stupid escalator, trying to reach the top but now I realise I'm not. We're all running up the goddamn escalator, it's just a gigantic, ridiculously high and super fast escalator. Just grab someone's hand if you ever need a lift. But in the end, only your legs can take you up. Someone can carry but they'll never be able to carry you all the way.

Hold on if you feel like letting go. Hold on, it gets better than you know :)



Love,
Faith And Trust

wow i don't think i have ever herd anything so true and btw im still going tomorow will be 5 weeks, sometimes it feels like it was all just a bad dream untill i see the tiny scars that disapear a little every day.

[JeydonGT]

instead of thinking about bad things in your life focus on the positive things that have happened and the good moments you have had with friends or family