Innapropriate things to say around a Self harming person

[sarahtheweber]

I got this from another site, RYL, and it kinda helps- Just post anything that has been said to you about self harming (a random comment etc) and say how it made ya feel.

[georgiamay]

"Your life insurance will go up now because of your suicidal tendancies." - I never had suicidal tendancies, but apparently my self harm makes me suicidal. >.<

[Syvelocin]

Mmm, if I'm taking this the right way, what I can think of is when someone makes a joke about the emo stereotype, tells someone to cry in the corner and slash their wrists, jokingly of course, but it gets to me.

That joke that goes like "I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself" is really pissing me off lately as well.

[Amaryllis]

"What is wrong with these people? How can they want to die and cut themselves? They have everything and people dying in africa have nothing! What the heck is wrong with them? They should die"

This was from someone who was my friend. It really hurt.

"Emo people suck. Oh my god I'm gonna go in a corner and slash my wrists. Boohoo"

I can't stand it.

[Jimmy Page]

SH jokes,that those who do it is sick fucks that deserve to die if they want it so bad.
My friend said that when he talked about a girl that do it,to hear that come from him was like getting punched in the stomach

[sarahtheweber]

That joke that goes like "I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself" is really pissing me off lately as well.

That pisses me off as well.

Then there is the whole "Oh your emo, you must cut!' or vice versa. Stupid stereotypes

[xktx]

its not really and insult, but its when people make you promise not to self harm again, when they dont understand its not that easy :/

[dreamer18xx]

showing an "emo" cartoon clip with a kid cutting his wrists with a violin bow and saying that it's funny, my older sister saying what im doing to myself is fu*** up and saying i probabally did it b/c someone wasnt paying me any attention which was kinda like a slap in the face, people singing that really annoying song The Emo Kid Song by Adam & Andrew and all the "emo" jokes just irritate me :( i find it sad people make jokes and laugh and say that people who cut are messed up it honestly makes me feel worse even when its not directed at me....but really whats more messed up the people cutting b/c they feel hurt or the people that laugh about it? I smh

[Upintheair]

"How can people cut themselves, when there are people who have it so much worse? They should just suck it up and get over it" Just because there are people that have it worse, doesnt diminish the feelings that my problems give me.

"People cut because they want attention. They just want people to feel sorry for them"

That one bothered me because when I used to self harm, I never did it for attention. It wasnt a cry for help. I also didnt want people to feel sorry for me, which is why I constantly hid the marks and never told anyone.

[Iris]

When people bring god into it. Like:

"god gave you this body, don't hurt it"

"god loves you, so you should love you and stop"

"how can you do something so horrible to god's gift?"

And it's not just because I'm an atheist. My friend, who's very religious, was told by her first psychologist that she should stop cutting because god gave her a gift and she's not appreciating it, which only made her guiltier.

[Bath]

"Stop complaining and doing this to yourself, you can change your life, stop being a baby and make yourself happy."

Because I haven't tried already? And failed a billion times? Thanks for making it seem so fucking easy, I guess I'm not capable of this either.

"Attention-seeker."

Ignorant.

"I read online/heard that people cut because..."

That's nice, that doesn't apply to me.

[xDarkAngelx]

No one knows I self harm and one comment that really made me cut quite a few times over after it was said was "Emo's are people who have long hair, stay in the bedroom all day with the curtains shut and cut" or something like that. Even remembering it now is giving me an urge.

[morbidmonkey]

"Cutting is for crazy people"
that came from my mom. still echoes in my brain

[Bougainvillea]

I never really cared. I had more problems. I don't give a shit if people joke about self harm. They can think what they like, and say what they want because I know it is wrong and different for some. But if they start to criticize me on WHY I do is a guaranteed ass kicking.

[ShatteredWings]

That joke that goes like "I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself" is really pissing me off lately as well.
Really? I find that joke overused but funny. *shrugs*

Wearing black long sleeves and my wristcuffs "You hidin' cuts?"
- *facepalm* Maybe i am, maybe i'm not. Youre in no place to ask random person.

"just stop"
It's not that easy. /inb4trolling

"How can you destroy your body like that"
-_- Just. -_-

"But God ..."
Fucked me over. I don't want to hear it.

"Why don't you go cut yourself?"
Um. thanks..

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

Before my brother knew I never noticed how many suicide/self harm/cutting references he joked around with. I remember sitting in a restaurant with him and my mum (my mum knew, he didn't) and he make a joke about having a rough day, started to pretend to 'hack' at his wists. We didn't laugh, my mum wouldn't look at me and quickly changed the subject.


Also reading my mums texts and seeing 'she's just doing it for the attention'. It couldn't have been a worse response. It's on repeat in my head when I cut...

[Bath]

Also reading my mums texts and seeing 'she's just doing it for the attention'. It couldn't have been a worse response. It's on repeat in my head when I cut...

My mom thought I was doing it for attention too. Yeah. Ok. I do it for attention, totally, that's why I went through hell hiding it from you and everybody for months. TOTALLY makes sense.

& people tell me that she just doesn't understand it, and she doesn't understand what's going through my head, but really she can't use common sense?

[love is louder]

Jokes don't bother me really but I can't stand the way self harm is portrayed on the telly

Example one
I was watching family guy and it was the one where connie makes chris popular which makes connie unpopular which makes her friends with meg. Long story short connie asks meg to help her and meg holds her arm up and points to cuts on her wrist saying "this one is because you called me fat, this one is cause you locked me in the locker room, this one is cause you pulled my skirt up infront of everyone...."

Example two
I love saw they are like my favourite films. But on one there's this man that cuts and jigsaw says, you don't appreciate life blah blah blah. If you want to live you need to cut yourself by climbing through this barbed wire but if you truly want to die then you can just sit there till the time runs out
Iv got to admit that I was a little scared at this point incase some one like jigsaw was actually watching me!

[CyanideGoodnight]

This happened in biology.
Kid #1 Fuck I just failed a test!
Kid #2 Don't cut yourself because of it.
Kid #1. Bahaha yeah *Imitates cutting wrists* it hurts so good!

Then there was the time when my friend came up to me and made me listen to this song called the emo kid song or something like that and she said it was funny. I almost cried. In fact, later that day, I did cry thinking about how someone can think it's funny or make a stupid song that parodys that.

this was never said to me, but I heard it before "Go bleed me a river you emo fuck"

Another thing that happened in biology
Kid #3 who's not even in the class came running in saying HEYYY WASSUP BITCHES
Kid #2 from before says Go fuck off and kill yourself.

Those words made me freeze, I couldn't think straight, all I could think about was the many times I could have died... I think I cried somewhere later in that class durring a movie (Thank god no one sat next to me or anything) because the thoughts consumed me. It was a horrible day.

[kacibaybay]

"what are you gonna be all emo and cut yourself"

bothers the fuck out of me.

[beag_amhain]

'oh no i got a bad grade ima go home and cry and slit my wrists'

when someone accidently cuts themselves and says 'dont worry guys im not emo'

when someone makes a comment or a joke about self harm n youve to laugh along with it

"god gave you this body, don't hurt it"

"god loves you, so you should love you and stop"

"how can you do something so horrible to god's gift?"

that really just pisses me off

its your body, no one elses, i dont see why you cant do what you want with it

[PervertedStalker]

"hey i have some scissors in my purse if you need somthing to cut with cuz you might get overly emotional." that one really stung me. And "emos just iscolate themselves and feel sorry for themselves" "Dont be like the cutters" those just make me want to cut more.

[DifferentTides]

"Oh I just failed my test, time to go cut myself"

"(Joking tone*) Im soooooo sad, (Imitates slashing wrist)"

Also another thing which annoys me (one of my close friends said this) is that "I hate people with issues , they should stop complaining and go for a walk or something"

[Hopegirl]

I dont have any specific comments that bug me, just my brother doesnt know i SH and my friend used to SH and he knew she did and sometimes if i was just talking to mum about how she was getting on with her SH issues hed just starting spouting random crap and insults about self-harmers..and then my mum wonders why i find it hard to open up to her....cuz god knows what she thinks/says about self-hrm when im not around. People who tel you to just stop..er hello...put yourself in this situations, you'll find its not that easy -.-, a friend of mine who cuts said to me she cudnt understand why i cud cuz " my lifes not so bad" ...shame shes never actually tried to understand why i SH..might have to do with attemtped sexual abuse when she claims she has really awful parents...yup the kind that do and buy anything for you.. '.' finally people who think they know so much about self-harm and generalise all cutters, i mean im guessing people are similar but you shudnt just compare, fair enough some cutters do it for the attention, very few , so why generalise the whole SH issue by saying its " attention seeking" I think sometimes jokes about cutting and just insensitive comments are to cover peoples insecurity about the fact they dont know what they are actually talking about..

[Amaryllis]

"If you cut yourself, you'll go to hell" - Hoho, already am.

Friend: Oh my god, Z, did you cut yourself??
Me: No. Of course not.
Friend: I knew it. Cutters wear eyeliner and long sleeves.
Me: Sure...

Friend 2: I scratched myself with a pen!
Friend 3: Omg, me too!
Friend 4: I hate my life.
Friend 5: Yeah. I pinch myself.
Friend 2: Omg. You guys are so cool.

Get a life...

[xXl0sth0peXx]

It's interesting for me, since only 2-3 close friends know I actually cut.. but people suspect.. so I get a lot of crap.
The whole "god gave you this body, don't hurt it" quote REALLY pisses me off. I've lost count of the number of times I've heard it..
As with a lot of things already posted, they make me cut MORE.. dunno why.

I've heard this a lot: "I could never do that to myself. It would hurt too much."

It's probably already been said, but I HATEHATEHATEHATE when people say "oh it's not so bad" or "you life can't be that bad".. they have no idea..

And of course people using the word "emo".. my family doesn't know, and my brother and my parents were making emo jokes..

[love is louder]

only one of my friends knows and she had a go at me telling me to just "behave"
like its that easy

then she pulled out the whole "i did it once and ok it was a good feeling but its pathetic to keep doing it" in a kind of grow up and get over yourself way.

people are so fucking ignorant i really wanted to knock her out at this point.

[ShadowGirl]

"What's next, are you gonna die your hair black and wear dark clothes all the time? You already cut yourself so you might as well dress emo."

3 years ago a kid at my school killed himself and people always talk about him acting like a girl because he couldn't man up and face life. That pisses me off so much.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

least helpful imo are ones about being "smart" or "how youre above this" shit like thiat.
i *know* i'm smarter than that, i KNOWWW i know better i know i'm 'going somewhere', but that doesn't change alot.

[dontcare97]

" You're doing it for attention. Go focus on something else."

[Magenta]

"You can't babysit anymore. It might not be safe for the kids to be around you."
- from my father. Yes, 'cause I'm going to massacre the children. Thanks, Dad.

[ShatteredWings]

"You can't babysit anymore. It might not be safe for the kids to be around you."
- from my father. Yes, 'cause I'm going to massacre the children. Thanks, Dad.

...People are morons. they really are.

[LittlePaperStars]

This isn't really a joke, but when I asked mom if she'd support me she said "No; I'd put you in a crazy hospital."
That hurt.

My friend who self harms...her dad found out and then called her "His daughter who cuts." She really looked up to him.

I hate how families can be so judgemental by things that they've never even done. Half the things my mom says triggers me...

[AppealToReason]

Hmm...
The first person who I told about my cutting went to talk to her friend straight after class. She pointed at me and said "That's the kid who cuts".
Not as bad as some of you guys (sorry you all had to hear these things) but it seriously stung and made me terrified to tell anyone else.

[the_chef_of_your_lif]

"the more that I think about it, it's not really an addiction. If you dont have it, you dont get stressed out, it's just a distraction from what's bugging and hurting you and this is a sign that you need to talk about it"
Honestly my boyfriend told me that the last time I cut, and that was when I found out I could live without it, but told him why I did it everyday about almost a year ago. I hate how people automaticly assume its just to escape emotional and mental pain. It is an addiction if you can't go a day without 'needing' it. It's like smoking, sometimes all you need is one time and you're hooked.

[loveless420]

people in my sophomore drama class used to call me an "emo bitch" & they would tell me to "go cry & slit my wrists." little did they know, that's exactly what i wanted to do.

people are so ignorant, they have no idea what their words do to people.

[Love.Hate]

"if you want to stop that bad just stop, it's easy"- well it's not.

"why are you wearing long sleeves, are you an emo?"- for goodness sake, that stupid stereotypical word.

"do you not get enough attention at home"- urgh.. It's not about attention!

[judahtics]

what if someone made a comment not knowing you cut? would you hold that against them?

[FullyAlive]

what if someone made a comment not knowing you cut? would you hold that against them?

If it's a stereotypical ignorant comment, maybe.

[Painted_Indian_Horse]

*talking about the emo style*
me: "yeah, you could say i used to be 'emo', like dress like that and stuff."
my friend(who now knows): "oh, did you cut yourself? cause emo people do that."
me: -.-

she didn't mean anything by it, this was like right when we were getting to know each other. we were in a car on a road trip with two other people and i wasn't about to confess cause the other girl was 12 and the woman with us is my riding trainer

[xdancing_for_rainx]

I guess one particular remark that I've never forgotten was from a friend a few years ago. It was the first time my parents found out about my self-harm, and I just needed someone to confide in since I was feeling so awful. She had cut once or twice previously- but she did it for attention. She did it those few times, then bragged to everyone about it (while claiming the "emo" comments were offensive... but you could tell that's what she wanted to hear >.<). So, yeah, after I told her, she said something along the lines of-
"Oh, that's nothing. I've probably cut wayyy more than you have. And my cuts are so much worse. You've got nothing to worry about."

Was kinda confused, since I thought she'd actually try to support me :/ Instead anything she said just made my problems sound stupid. She just cut those few times. I've been self-harming for 3 years. Hmmm...

[StoodAlone]

I just hate the steriotype were cutting is emo and attention seeking im not emo or attention seeking and all the people i know who do self harm hide it.

[sarahtheweber]

Yesterday when talking to one person who knows- stop cutting and burning or you'll go to hell with the homosexuals and muslims.
I'm like WTF they aren't going to hell you prick...
She smiles and says Sarah, your just like them... too bad you don't have god on your side.

I'm a devout christian and go to church more than she does...

[BrokenButterflies]

its your body, no one elses, i dont see why you cant do what you want with it
Ya, no kidding. That's what I say when people tell me to eat.

[Aubrie]

Emo jokes like the one about the grass don't bother me. Maybe if I was still cutting it would. But if someone says, "Oh, I'm going to go cut my wrists now," it makes me tense up, especially if I'm around someone who knows I used to.

Whenever someone is talking about someone who self-harms and says they are doing it for attention or they're a freak or something of the nature, it offends me.

My ex (the one who sexually assaulted me) saw my scars and asked about it. I just looked at the guy I was sitting across from who knew. He says, "Dude, just stop. You're an asshole." My ex then realized what the "lines" on my arm were and goes, "That's fucking retarded."

Cool, thanks, I did it because of you, asshole.

[RakshaMalayka]

"Why dont you go crawl in a corner and cut yourself"

"Emos are pussies who want to die but are too scared to do anything about it" the kid who said this assumed i was 'emo' and cut

"You emo? Yeah you got the sleeves why ask" what the fuck does my sleeves gotta do with it?

In cooking class: "Dont hand her the knife shes gonna slit her wrists instead of the peppers"

Also when people just assume im 'emo' or that i cut and stuff......

[amor2429]

My brothers and my mum and me were watching a movie, and the ending was near...The guy slit his wrists with a broken peice of glass...Then the other guy with guy 1# said that movement goes out the window when you cut your tendons(because guy 1# couldn't cut his other wrist enough). My mum laughed. Even though this was when she knew I cut!!! :(

Also, if I was going back into my room, my mum would come up and do the cutting thingy signage on her arm... :(

She also said like laughing about it, "Claire cuts herself!!! NEENER NEENER NEEENER!!!", even worse...In front of my 13 year old brother! :( Nooo!

When these girls at school saw all my scars on my arms...
Girls: Do you cut yourself?
Me: It's really none of your business.
Girls: Do you though?
Me: It's none of your business. Stop annoying me about it.
Girls: WHY DO YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU'RE LIFE IS SO NOT HORRIBLE! WHAT ABOUT ALL THE STARVING AFRICAN KIDS!!! THEY ARE IN MUCH MORE PAIN THAN YOU!!!
Me: How do you not know the prevalence of rape, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse and alcoholism in today's families? Seriously. Now fuck off and do your school work.
Girls: blA BLA blaaaa
Me: *not listening cause wants to SH*

[dontcare97]

i never had any real emo jokes hit me but this one i heard just really hit me. I was in line for lunch in the cafe. I was laughing with some friends, and a group behind me were full of boys being assholes. Usually i don't think anything of them, just give a wtf look if they say something super ridiculous or grin if something is funny.

I forgot the conversation they were having but this one guy made a remark about the situation. He said "Yeah, it's like those emo cutters!" I just looked at him and said with the most serious face that it wasn't funny. I felt hurt for some reason. He wasn't my friend and he didn't know but i felt really hurt because i cut. It made me want to go off on a rant on how shit like that affects people but i didn't.

My friend heard and was about to say that i cut but I stopped him. I didn't want my business out there.

[SinisterMystery]

I got told to slit my wrists one day.
I got asked if I was emo and if I was do I cut myself...

[LoveMe_HateMe]

Yesterday when talking to one person who knows- stop cutting and burning or you'll go to hell with the homosexuals and muslims.
I'm like WTF they aren't going to hell you prick...
She smiles and says Sarah, your just like them... too bad you don't have god on your side.

I'm a devout christian and go to church more than she does...

To be honest. I'd rather go to hell... The way most people talk about it, all the cool people will be there.



One thing that always gets me is when people joke about wanting to commit suicide. We were in class and this guy was like "omg I wanna shoot myself." stuff like that I always tense up - and if people make comments/jokes about cutting.

[Kelasta]

When people say we're doing it because we were 'influenced' by so and so.
Er, hello?

[Ashleigh]

when people tell me to just simply 'stop' yea its really that easy!

'hey ash you dress emo, do you cut?' not all emos cut derp thats just a stereotype and if i do then whys that your business??

when people who know say 'awh ash cuts' whenever emos come up in convo.... stop being to ignorant guys!

something that drives me crazy is the word 'slitting' it just makes me want to do it so badley and it makes me cringe :/ x

[sarahtheweber]

Yestterday my best friend slipped up and said- you already cut yourself, so why don't you just go kill yourself!!!!- ... We were in an argument and i just walked away crying

[sarah newman]

"people who cut themselves are Emos"
"if i had a problem then I will go cut myself"<sarcasm from a boy in my class

[beebs]

Yesterday someone said to me, really directly, "do you slit ypur wrists" and i hate that phrase! Its like, its called self harm, not everyone does it on there wrists!

[AvengedHorizon]

*french class*
Me: "hey can I borrow your scissors, please? i've not got mine today nad there's a sheet i need to trim."
Girl: "aww hey dont lie to me, hun, is it so you can slit yourself and be all emo and cool? Go for it, emo bitch, hope you bleed to death."

:/

[HeroesAndCons]

Me: * Acedently jams nail and it hurts really bad*
owww
Sister: Its okay you should be used to pain.

[Megson]

I'm not bothered by emo/SH jokes easily.

People joke about it a lot though. Like, in creative writing class, someone wrote something along the lines of "The hand sanitizer burned his suicidal wrists."

Everyone laughed. It was supposed to be a joke. I didn't find it funny at all.

Also, some of my friends make 'slitting' motions with their wrists whenever I mention feeling upset or depressed. They don't know I cut. They just think its funny.

[AlmostHomeless]

I find myself trying to not look serious when people crack "emo jokes". The beginning of this school year I did a little cutting on my wrists but I went back to my normal places but a couple people caught on to it very quick and one of them was a kid i punched in the nose freshman year so he hates me and hes been spreading (rumors wouldn't be the right word here) about my cutting and even though now its all hidden again some of my "friends" crack emo jokes and I KNOW they are trying to gauge my response so I just ignore them, look away, and listen / join in another conversation going on nearby. One of my "friends" in french class made slitting motions with his pencil while laughing for no apparent reason. It wouldn't normally annoy me that much and I would normally try to laugh along but it bothers me now because I know that they have probably heard something about my cutting which is why they are doing this.

Sorry for the wall of text.

[Mike8492]

I know this is kinda old post and these are still messed up to say to someone in general:
"Dude, you fucking suck. Get the fuck out of here and go kill yourself. No one likes or gives a shit about you, just fucking die!!!" This was over a online video game, where I was wasn't on my A game.

"Suicide is the cowards way out" Can't remember who said that but still messed up.

[AlmostHomeless]

My mom and dad just went on a rant about suicidal people. Here are some of the things they said.

"Suicidal people deserve to die"
"I have no sympathy for them. People in africa yes, but not suicidal people"
"They are a waste of life"
"They should go to africa. Their lives aren't that bad"
"It's all about 'I want my own tv' or computer or cell phone or else they get depressed"

And then they went on about how they can't stand suicidal people. My dad then proceeded to tell me how his dad burned him with cigarette butts talking about how my life is great and shit. He asked me "Do you know what it's like to be burned by a cigarette butt? No. You don't"
But I do. I used to burn. I know what it's like, but of course I couldn't say anything and it made me so mad.

My parent's don't know anything about my 2 attempts, my cutting, or burning. I don't think I will ever tell them. Ever. I hate them so much right now.

[Ambrosia]

Someone once saw a scar on my arm and said "Hahaha, I did that once! Hahahahaha" Yeah...

A few years ago some kid went walking down our road cutting himself with a pocket knife, laid down in the middle of the road, and waited for the cops to come. My mom made the comment of
"Oh how stupid. I swear the mothers and fathers of children like that should be shot. That's some shitty parenting on their part!!!!"

.......Right, mom. Right.

[Roses_Are_Yellow]

"Why don't you just go write a note about how you want to kill yourself!" -my parents.
"Cutters are people who want attention." -Mean girl i know
"You're so Emo!" my 'friends'

None of them knew about my cutting problem though...

[abdheuuuchjc]

"Stop complaining and doing this to yourself, you can change your life, stop being a baby and make yourself happy."

Because I haven't tried already? And failed a billion times? Thanks for making it seem so fucking easy, I guess I'm not capable of this either.

"Attention-seeker."

Ignorant.

"I read online/heard that people cut because..."

That's nice, that doesn't apply to me.
Well said I'm not emo nor suicidal but I'm depressed. I broke a kids nose for cracking an emo joke in front of my bro

[XxArcAngelxX]

i hate when people call me emo and to cut myself. or even if someone jokes about it...

[XxArcAngelxX]

i hate when people call me emo and to cut myself. or even if someone jokes about it...

[MyRedHeadWorld]

I use to care loads bout jokes, but now I make them myself cause Ive stopped as much as I would and Im happier with life. but if people know u self harm, they shouldnt make any jokes :) :S

[StrawberryCyanide]

My boyfriend of 2 years has had a history of self harm, but for me he says the most innapropriate things to me. He will say things like "You will learn" and "Stop feeling sorry for yourself" For some reason these really get to me, especially "You will learn"... I find it extremely patronising when people suggest that they know exactly what you're going through. Even if they have self harmed also, their situation will not be the same so yeah that really gets to me. All the "emo" jokes are just cringeworthy, immature and ignorant.

[secretly_secret]

My dad told me about cutters.
I said: why was she hopeless?

So ignorant...and that was only months before I started.