A poem again...

[Magenta]

Speak softly, don’t wake them.
Don’t let them hear.
Tread swiftly, don’t alert them
that you are near.

Within the crevices of the mind,
ghoulish things are kept
who are neither deaf nor blind
to each time that you wept.

Keep your voice low,
don’t let them catch on.
Keep your movements slow,
be quick but withdrawn.

Within thoughts so obscure,
lie terrors and memories
to harsh to endure…
lasting for ages, for ever, for centuries.

[jamespep]

I really like the stlyle of this poem i write ones like it myself. However the last line with ahes in make sit seem more not immature but less sivalisd u have used a wide range of volcab but the ages just brings it down to comman land. Hope it helps. ;-)

[Magenta]

I don't think poetry is made of fancy words. "Ages" is used commonly, yes, but it also brings out a point. I don't think it's far to say that it's any less civilized just because one word is more common.

Just saying. xD

[Amaryllis]

It's beautiful, Jo. I can really relate to your poetry