bambino
August 3rd, 2011, 07:24 AM
This can include romantic relationships, or relationships with family members or friends.
“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget.”
AND
"the secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing"
AND
Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever.
By this logic, we never forgive. And we should not forget [or possibly cannot forget] that we've been wronged by someone. The only way we can forgive is to not fully understand how they have hurt us/betrayed us etc.
On the other hand:
" I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one"
By this logic, it is possible to forgive and if you do you also have to "forget" and not bring up the past to use against them.
"Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die"
AND
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"
AND
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
So these quotes say by holding resentment against a person we are only hurt ourselves. To free ourselves we have to let go of the past and embrace the future.
Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.
These quotes say if we forgive everything is made clean and right again
Conversely:
[I]You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
AND
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
These quotes say you can forgive but things will never be the same. Things cannot be the way they were, the trust is never fully repaired and the wrong is never fully forgotten.
What I can't work out is...when someone wrongs you, is there ever hope for a future where you have fully forgiven them and moved on? Is it ever possible to forgive someone completely?
The only thing I'm certain is true:
"Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. "
But if we all forgave everything, how would we protect ourselves from future hurt? Shouldn't we forgive, set ourselves free from resentment but be wiser about not trusting said person? Then by that logic...we can't fully forgive them as we are hanging onto what has happened in the past, and it is not a clean slate and therefore you have not fully forgiven them.
Forgive and forget and feel more at peace but risk being hurt, or not let them into your life again to protect yourself?
What do you think?
“I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness. The only ones who can forgive are dead; the living have no right to forget.”
AND
"the secret of forgiving everything is to understand nothing"
AND
Wrongs are often forgiven, but contempt never is. Our pride remembers it forever.
By this logic, we never forgive. And we should not forget [or possibly cannot forget] that we've been wronged by someone. The only way we can forgive is to not fully understand how they have hurt us/betrayed us etc.
On the other hand:
" I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one"
By this logic, it is possible to forgive and if you do you also have to "forget" and not bring up the past to use against them.
"Resentment is like a glass of poison that a man drinks; then he sits down and waits for his enemy to die"
AND
"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you"
AND
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”
So these quotes say by holding resentment against a person we are only hurt ourselves. To free ourselves we have to let go of the past and embrace the future.
Forgiveness is the answer to the child's dream of a miracle by which what is broken is made whole again, what is soiled is made clean again.
These quotes say if we forgive everything is made clean and right again
Conversely:
[I]You can make up a quarrel, but it will always show where it was patched.
AND
Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.
These quotes say you can forgive but things will never be the same. Things cannot be the way they were, the trust is never fully repaired and the wrong is never fully forgotten.
What I can't work out is...when someone wrongs you, is there ever hope for a future where you have fully forgiven them and moved on? Is it ever possible to forgive someone completely?
The only thing I'm certain is true:
"Without forgiveness life is governed by... an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation. "
But if we all forgave everything, how would we protect ourselves from future hurt? Shouldn't we forgive, set ourselves free from resentment but be wiser about not trusting said person? Then by that logic...we can't fully forgive them as we are hanging onto what has happened in the past, and it is not a clean slate and therefore you have not fully forgiven them.
Forgive and forget and feel more at peace but risk being hurt, or not let them into your life again to protect yourself?
What do you think?