I love you....but i shouldnt

[TrAnSMaN09]

im tired of dealing with everyone Else's problems, and putting mine aside, I just want to have someone say to me, I know you not Ok, So don't say you are,
My boy used to do that with me, But i kept saying im fine, its nothing, that he eventually gave up, Not that i blame him, I'm not worth his time anyways, i just want to break down crying but i can't, it wont do any good,if anything it will just make me tired enough to actually sleep, which i guess is good, i can feel the tears in my eyes but i refuse to let them fall, I put a face on during the day, So he( and everyone else) doesn't know what im going through, Not like it's anything important though, just self pity, Everyone else on here, there life is soo much worse then mine, So, im sorry if you think im doing this just for attention, This is actually hard for me to do, Letting everything out, I'm scared he's mad at me,
though... i deserve it, I deserve it every time we fight, I know i do, He deserves better then me, He deserves someone that will let him do w.e he wants, And doesn't worry about everything, If i wasn't.. around he could be with her, or him, Which ever one he chose, But im stopping him, I'M holding him back, All i do is hurt the people i love, If i was smart i would let him be happy, regardless of my feelings, They don't matter anyways, He says he's gay, And im his one exception, which im unsure of how to feel about, I'm holding him back from being with a boy,

[LongShot157]

alright tyler, look her man, I know EXACTLY what your saying, ever since i was like 13 i was ALWAYS the one friends and even strangers came to with their problems, i would take in all their problems let them vent and help them ANY WAY possible. Next i would like to say dont say your not worth someones time, some people like me feel like expressing that they are hurt or in pain or need help is a sign of weakness, i dont know if this is your case, but you are worth the time man, trust me. Also there is NOTHING wrong with crying. personally i dont cry, but i should its very unhealthy to hold in sadness. Dont be sorry for if other people think your doing this for attention, if your posting this then there is a reason for it. when someone complains for attention it tends to be obvious. Your issue seems like a real concern. The fact that its hard for you to put yourself out like this is understandable like i said, im the same way, and your doing an amazing thing taking that first step to come out and ask for help. Have you asked him if he is mad? you will never know if he is mad if you dont ask. On top of this, dont say you deserve to fight with your man, and dont put yourself down i dont know you, and this is the first time we have talked, but im POSITIVE your a great guy, ive seen your posts to other people you, in inspirational, wise, caring, a genuinely great guy. Just because you dont let him do whatever he wants doesnt mean anything more than you care about him and his health and safety (correct me if im wrong on that) I also used to tell myself that my girlfriends always deserved better than me, but thats because im a bad guy, i have legal issues, i used to have anger problems and i still get mad pretty easy, and i dont EVER want to put a girl through my anger, and or get them in trouble for a stupid thing i do. Your NOT and i say again YOU ARE NOT holding him back, if you tell him he cant go to some school cause its to far maybe then. again i dont know if this is your problem but learning to trust is VERY important, you have to be able to let go and let them be them, cause otherwise it can push them away and if you love and care about him thats the last thing you want am i right? What i think you should do is sit down with him, and explain exactly how you feel about your situation with him.

And this is kinda off topic but i got thrown off, i figured you were gay, then i read that you said he admits to being gay and liking men, but your one exception, implying your female at birth right? ( just to clearify) if you need to talk at all friend request me and im always here to talk, if you dont have anyone to open up to, then i can be that guy you can open up to :) i hope to hear back let me know your doing alright okay?

[Angel Androgynous]

Aw, Tyler, you can vent to me all you want. I know he's also going through a tough time, and you have a right to be worried. You do not deserve any fights. Just remember, I'm here for you. You are a special person to me, and you can talk to me about anything. I would not know the pain or the difficulty for you, but just remember, that my arms are open for you to tell your story. ^_^

[TrAnSMaN09]

Thanks Guys. That means alot, and Ryan, Yes i am female at birth, and you seem to totally understand my situation, i will definitely msg you for some more advice