Help with my feelings?

[Spirit]

My name is Braydon; I'm 17 and I'm having a slight relationship problem... My best friend and I have been in a relationship for about six weeks now. We've been friends for about seven years, and we've always been very close. But there’s a problem that’s been bothering me for a long time, and I need help.

My boyfriend is gorgeous. He has a perfectly formed body, with just the right amount of lean muscle. He’s not overweight at all, and he’s strong and athletic. His face is very handsome, and he has the most gorgeous blue eyes I’ve ever seen. He has curly brown-gold hair, just the perfect length, and its so soft and springy and I love running my fingers though it. He's just the perfect boy.

Me, in comparison, I’m way uglier than him. I’m way uglier than most guys. I’m about 10 pounds overweight, I have hardly any muscle, and my face isn’t nearly as handsome as his. On top of that, I’m about 3 inches shorter than him and I’m smaller than him in terms of penis size (I'm 5.5 erect, he's about 7 or 8). My eyes are a boring, dark brown color and my hair is almost black (it's dark brown but it's hard to tell unless in natural light). I don't seem like I fit with him at all.

We've started having sex and I've begun to feel unworthy, because I don't look nearly as good as him naked. When we go out places, he’s not shy kissing and hugging me and holding my hand, but I always feel like he’s embarrassed to be around me because of how I look. I always feel uncomfortable around his friends because his friends are popular and attractive; they're football and basketball players and they're handsome and perfectly toned. I feel so overshadowed by them all and even though my boyfriend is always involving me in their conversations and taking me out with them and making an effort to include me I still feel like I don't belong.

I don’t know what to do. He says he loves me and that I am beautiful to him, but when I look at myself I just don’t see how I could ever be beautiful. I hate being jealous of him because he’s so genuine with his feelings and I feel like I’m being sneaky. He's the love of my life and I don't want to feel jealous, because he isn't jealous of me at all in any way, and he's sweet and kind and happy. I want to be with him for the rest of my life and I can't handle being jealous. He doesn't deserve that. Help?

[Resistance]

just like you said he seems to be comfortable when he is with you, and he seems to really really like you. When you like one person you don't care about if they are bad-looking or if you are good-looking becouse for you they are the most beautiful person in the world. So my advice for you is not to worry so much with the physical aspect, he loves you as you are :D

[Spirit]

He does seem to love me very much. He's very physical with me but not in an overbearing way; he does it to make me smile, which he loves to see. He doesn't seem bothered by my looks even when we're naked together. I guess maybe I'm just very self-conscious. I just don't see how I got such a beautiful, perfect boy to love me.

[Upintheair]

Often times, we are our biggest critic! I know ho this feels, but to me, it is so apparent that he doesnt care! Obviously he thinks your wonderful, so it shouldnt matter to you too much! Just remind yourself that he thinks your beautiful, so screw hat other people might think! Dont worry about it! Keep your head held high because he loves the way you are, so thats all that should matter!

[Spirit]

I'm glad to have him! He's just so beautiful; he reminds me of a Greek god, to be honest :D. He's so handsome and attractive, and he has the sweetest personality. I just don't feel like I deserve him. He could do so much better.

[Skyhawk]

Spirit,

First of all, your boyfriend sounds like what everyone else dreams about, so be glad you have him. :)

You said he seems very genuine and comfortable with you, and you feel like you can't measure up to him. Maybe he is into (you said you were 10lbs overweight) larger men? Trust me, there must be something about you that he must really like.

You are with gold here! :). To him, you are his platinum, if such a man is into you, you probably are good looking, and you seem to be the kind of guy he wants.

[Spirit]

Hmm. I never really thought about that. He says he likes how I look because I'm "cute", even though there isn't anything really cute about me. But like you said, I must look good to him, even though he's a god. I would think most people (myself included) would expect that he'd want a guy as attractive as himself, instead of a unattractive, overweight dumpy guy like me :'D

[AltoVaughn]

First: You are super lucky to have that guy, and I'm Jealous :P.

You can tell he truly loves you for your personality. You just need to remember if he thinks your good enough you are. From what you described he works to make you feel accepted and beautiful in your own way.

I feel exactly the same way you do about yourself. But We both need to learn to accept it when people say positive things.

I wish you luck and an abundance of self love and respect.

Hope I helped at least a wee bit.

[LuckyLuke]

Spirit dear,

he says he loves you and he's clearly not hesitant to show it in public and, especially for a gay couple who may receive a bit more "judgment" than a straight couple (sorry to say, but that's the society we live in), that means A LOT.

Relax and let the relationship flow its course.

That being said; if you're uncomfortable with the way you look, change it. Consider working out, going to the gym, etc. You have a boyfriend who does it as a hobby, ask him for advise and help! I'm sure he'd be more than happy to help.

Good luck!

Lucky Luke

[Spirit]

I actually have been exercising more; he's helping me with lifting weights and he's got me involved with baseball, although I'm not nearly as good as him; he's on the varsity team :D. He's very patient though, and he doesn't get frustrated with my lack of skill so that's always helpful. He's just such an amazing guy :). I don't know, I still don't feel like I deserve him. He has so many amazing qualities, I just can't compare to him either in looks or personality. I'm not exactly sure what he sees in me.

[Dack]

Well if he's as any good at reading people as he sounds, he likes your honesty. Your ability to beat yourself up by being honest.

[Spirit]

What do you mean by honesty, exactly?

[willamsky]

I'm glad to have him!