SickTiger
August 2nd, 2011, 01:42 PM
I'm 15, late entering puberty (say about 3/4 through, got armpit hair, voice breaking etc)
For the past two months I have been incredibly confused over my sexuality! Before these 2 months, I had always liked girls and even had a of girlfriend (not serious btw). I don;t know why these thoughts have passed over me, they are making me feel really guilty and the thought of being gay does not appeal to me, I have always classed myself as straight. I just came home one day and the tohughts entered my mind.
I am extremely worried because these thoughts of whether I'm straight or not are just constantly in my mind, and I hate it, it makes me feel so angry and really worried! It's not like I'm homophobic, I just do not want to be gay, or even bisexual:/
I used to watch gay porn but I don't anymore because afterwards I would feel ashamed, I know only watch lesbian porn (normal). I also used to masturbate to a guy I knew for like a week, 6 months ago but again I used to feel guilty afterwards so I stopped.
I can think about girls and get erections, but I daren't think about guys for if I get one I will get depressed even more. This guilt is eating me up and I am becoming depressed it is the only thing on my mind!!! I still look at girls and think hmmm, but I wouldn't dare again do it to a guy for fear of more anxiety
Just wondered, I keep questioning my attraction to girls now if I will be married and have kids or just a normal relatonship, I think I will be it's just these thoughts are making my mind blow up with how much anxiousness they are producing with the thought of me not being striaght. I do want to be straight and I hope I am, can anyone help me, is this hormones and normal for a late blooming teen? or not? Or could it be something more, like HOCD?
For the past two months I have been incredibly confused over my sexuality! Before these 2 months, I had always liked girls and even had a of girlfriend (not serious btw). I don;t know why these thoughts have passed over me, they are making me feel really guilty and the thought of being gay does not appeal to me, I have always classed myself as straight. I just came home one day and the tohughts entered my mind.
I am extremely worried because these thoughts of whether I'm straight or not are just constantly in my mind, and I hate it, it makes me feel so angry and really worried! It's not like I'm homophobic, I just do not want to be gay, or even bisexual:/
I used to watch gay porn but I don't anymore because afterwards I would feel ashamed, I know only watch lesbian porn (normal). I also used to masturbate to a guy I knew for like a week, 6 months ago but again I used to feel guilty afterwards so I stopped.
I can think about girls and get erections, but I daren't think about guys for if I get one I will get depressed even more. This guilt is eating me up and I am becoming depressed it is the only thing on my mind!!! I still look at girls and think hmmm, but I wouldn't dare again do it to a guy for fear of more anxiety
Just wondered, I keep questioning my attraction to girls now if I will be married and have kids or just a normal relatonship, I think I will be it's just these thoughts are making my mind blow up with how much anxiousness they are producing with the thought of me not being striaght. I do want to be straight and I hope I am, can anyone help me, is this hormones and normal for a late blooming teen? or not? Or could it be something more, like HOCD?