Confusion

[bestintheworld]

Ok so this is hard to talk about but last year, my girlfriend at the time I was so in love with and was the best thing to ever happen to me. And after around a month of being together, she put me through complete hell in just 24 hours telling me all these things that I didnt know about. Some examples her saying it wouldnt work between us anymore, that she was being proposed to by another guy and didnt know what to do, that she had sex with another guy during our relationship when I was saving myself for her and thought she was too even tho she said it was an accident and regrets it, then tops it off by saying she doesnt love me anymore and tosses me aside like trash, leaving me crying and heartbroken and hurt worse than I could possibly imagine. It destroyed me inside. I begged for her back and spilled my heart and tried so hard but each time I was unsuccessful and left in pain. Then after like a month she wanted to b friends and I gave it my all despite everything that happened. Things started slow and then progressed and we had a good friendship going. Then I was in a relationship with her friend and she ended up running away with some other guy and i never heard anything since. And after all the grieving from that, my ex talked to me and helped me through and then told me she still loved me. After a huge discussion, she confessed all her lies which I admit did upset me and were hard, but afterwards she said she wanted to try things again and that she had changed and she would never hurt me again and realised she loved me and needed me. So I decided to give her a second chance and we've been dating since. I trust her and love her and she seems to have changed but I still hav fears of the possibility she could b hiding stuff again and still afraid of being hurt. And I cant go thru that again. I get so confused sometimes cuz idk what to think and dont rlly know what she's doing or anything cuz its long distance. All I can do is trust her and hope she's faithful and is no longer lying. But if anyone has any advice or comments to help my confusion, it would b greatly appreciated. Thank you

[Upintheair]

oh gosh buddy, im really sorry :( I know how hard it is to be cheated on. I waited until I was 16 to have a relationship with someone i really cared for and in my first relationship ever, I got cheated on. So I know how hard this is! All you can do now is go with your gut. If deep down you feel that something just isnt right, then it probably isnt. Other than that, you have to trust her. If you really truly love her, then trust is the most important thing. Now, Im not saying that this will happen, but if she does end up cheating again, then you need to know that your better than what she put you through. But for now, have faith! If it seems like everything is right, then hopefully it is. Long distance is really tricky though just because its easy to lie over the phone. But all in all, dont be paranoid! Go with your gut! I really hope everything goes well for you!

[bestintheworld]

ok great adivice :). thank you

[Upintheair]

No problem! If you ever need any help, feel free to ask me :)

[bestintheworld]

ok :)

[Iron Man]

Dude, women can be such bitches some times. Hate to be a downer, but no matter how much you trust her, once a cheater, always a cheater.

[bestintheworld]

Yeah there was so much that didnt add up before :(. Pictures and stuff with other guys that didnt seem right and a bunch of other stuff that just didnt make sense at all but because of my love for her, I just continued to trust her. Then later found out all the lies. And I still think theres a lot she never told me even tho she says she confessed everything. And she also lied about her age and made my stomach drop. Cuz I'm 18 and she said she was 17 then turned 18 and then tells me she's only 15 and I felt so weird and creepy after that crap. Its blah and I just don't know sometimes. Even now. Still get some weird feelings.

[bestintheworld]

I need more help cuz this is rlly stressing me :(. Idk what to do. I honestly have a weird feeling that she's hiding so much from me still and I'm scared to know what lies there could be after everything she hid before. I do my best to trust her and things were fine but it doesnt feel right again. I rlly dont know what to do :( :( :(

[bestintheworld]

I rlly need help asap cuz i need to figure out what to do :(

[Dack]

That once a cheater thing is total bullshit.

Maybe she truly has changed and that's what your sensing from her, but the only way to know for sure is if you ask. Don't sound accusatory about it if you ask;
Try to be sweet about with some thing similar to "Hey babe...you seem to be acting a little different, is there something on your mind?" and with any luck she'll confess as long and you truly give feeling to it.

[bestintheworld]

ok ill try confronting her about it and be open about how im feeling and see how it goes then. thank you

[Steve01]

well i no im young but i was going out with this girl, that i was in love with. and after 5 months she asked out my bestfriend! well of course he said no because he knew how much i cared for her and we r like wikkid tight. so the firsst did when i got home was cry. like i was heartbroken. but you know i called her and broke it off and my friends really encouraged me and made me feel better. so i suggest just cillen with friends and take your mind of it

[bestintheworld]

meh i see her flirting with guys and stuff now and i just rlly hav this gut feeling that she's hiding a lot and lying again and I cant deal with it cuz its so hard on me and I just dont think its real anymore. It seems like she's living a lie again and blah it hurts because I can feel that somethings not right and i ignore it. But I cant ignore it anymore. Its come down to a serious talk or ending it it seems :( :( :(

[Upintheair]

Like I said before, if something is telling you that its just not right, then maybe it isnt. You really should confront her but as Dack said, dont do it with an accusatory tone. Just say "Hey is everything alright? You have just been acting differently, is there anything you want to talk about or tell me?" And if she gets defensive, alot of times that means something is wrong because she is angry about being caught! Dont put yourself through hell if you dont think its worth it!

[bestintheworld]

yeah ur right. cuz i went thru hell last time with her and it destroyed me and i cant take it a second time :(. But i deff feel something isnt right. im gonna confront her as soon as I am able

[Dack]

Just remember not to accuse her of anything at the start unless she gets major defensive, then act a little suspicious.

[MonsterBear]

Your love life seems so frustrating. i can just picture myself in your situaution.
im 15 and my boyfriend is 17. I would never lie to someone i love though thats just so wrong and thats how my parents got divorced. i think you guys should stay as friends since you seem to be doubting her. i hope you resolve your situation.

[bestintheworld]

@Dack: ik bro and thanx. I deff wouldnt do that unless i found out for sure. just gotta talk about it and resolve it is what seems to b the case.


@MonsterBear: i dont doubt her its just suspicious and scras from the past feel opened up again cuz of how she's acting and stuff its like the same as b4. I mean she lied about almost everything before and even her own age and stuff and totally betrayed me and killed me inside. Its just feels the same and theres stuff thats suspicious again so yeah. And I deff know what u mean. I would never ever lie to the one i love and i dont lie anyway cuz its pointless. only like white lies. and thank u i hope so too.