dreamer18xx
August 1st, 2011, 01:59 PM
im not really sure what to call it? okay so this thing happened when i was about 7 i was over my friends house who was the same age and we where hanging out in her room and i have no idea how this happend but i remember her keep asking me to take off my cloths which i thought was weird so i said no but she kept on bugging me about it so i wanted to leave but she said she would let me out if i did it she was blocking the door so i couldnt really get out since shes bigger than me so she took hers off first and then put them back on and i dont know how but i remember i got out and ran to my mom who was in the kitchen talking to hers. i didnt tell my parents and this might sound a little insane but i just remembered this whole thing last year?? no i dont have short term memory lose it just came to me when i was listening to this song and i know its real its not like a dream thing i had because i felt reallyy sad when i remembered its hard to describe i just know its real but anyways since i forgot about this whole thing i still hung out with her allot because she was my best friend or was i was bullied and teased allot when i was younger so i didnt have many friends but anyways this whole thing happend with my sister she almost died and had to go to the hospital when i was 13 and i felt really sad about it so i wanted to talk to someone about it which is weird for me but my parents didnt like to talk about it and my sister hated whenever i brought it up so i just told that friend when i went over her house and i ended up crying which was embarissing but ya she gave me a hug and told me it was okay and we talked for about 5 minutes after talking about who we liked and what we liked and didnt like about ourselves and i was saying that my chest was huge being sarcastic im really part of the itty bitty titty comitty but she said that they werent and grabed my hand and put it on her chest saying hers were and to feel them so i told her to stop and let go but she kept on telling me to feel them and moving my hand around even when i told her no and when she did stop she said that she knew i liked it because i was a pervert. soo ya i never brought that up and it took about 2 years of ignoring her to leave me alone and i told my therapist about it a little b/c i was hysterical talking aboout it lol and she said it was probabally child play but im not sure i have depression and social anxiety now and i used to cut myself but not anymore and whenever i think about it i feel this nausous scared feeling like your about to give a huge speech in front of tons of people plus sad but i feel like its my fault too i feel like i could've pushed her away from the door and i shouldnt have brought up the whole chest topic so im not even sure if its somthing im blowing out of proportion and i shouldnt bother telling my parents? i mean i know im being sensitive and people have been through much worse but now im confused i dont even know what to think anymore is it no big deal, child play, or harassment? i know it may be a stupid question so im sorry i have to ask you guys but im not sure anymore?