losing myself

[xktx]

i havent cut for over two weeks now ... im proud of myself, and the im getting less and less urges ... but i feel as though Ive lost part of myself, a part i can never get back. is that normal? or am i going mental?

[love is louder]

First of all congrats on your two weeks!
but i know exactly how you feel. i think people who cut have to focus a huge part of there life on it and when it isnt there it feels stranger and unnatural but i promise it will pass just dont give up!

[xktx]

thanks. its fine during the day i keep busy ... its just at night.... :/ but i suppose atleast im not mental thanks :)

[love is louder]

lol i suppose that's something.
and its the same for me. most of the reason i do it is so i can get a decent sleep and not dream about doing it.
have you ever thought about seeing someone about it?

[xktx]

what as in a specialist person...?

[love is louder]

yea as in a therapist or a doctor or a psychiatrist

[xktx]

the thing is im under 16, and if they think im a danger to myself theyd tell my mum ... and thats something i really dont want to happen. shes in and out of hospital anyway ... i dont really was to add to her stress. cos then that'd stress me out :/ x

[love is louder]

i dont know exactly how it works but i think because im over 18 they dont have to tell anyone.
but you could talk to someone and not mention you self harm?
i have two. one knows and one doesnt and i get more help mentally with the one that doesnt know. the one that does know just kinda teaches me how to deal with it.

[xktx]

hmm... i dont know. I have a friend who selfharms she went in for help ..and it made it worse.. :/ so I guess its kinda scared me out of going for help. x

[love is louder]

when i first went it got a lot worse because its kinda scary and you have to think about it all the time but it gets better.
if youve got a friend that does it why not try and confide in them?

[xktx]

i have.. she said friends going through the same experience are much more useful, becuase they both know you and what your going through. We tend to ditract each other... which is useful. :) but im on a clean sheet for two weeks .. shes been doing it for just over a year now, so shes finding it tougher and her home life is worse, but shes slowed down ...a lot. :) which is always good. x