im weak and i need it

[ReasonsForWeeping]

im weak i need the blade or maybe the lighter i need something to make it all just go away i need it to melt away like ice during summer i need everything to stop the noise the people the light the emotions i just need it all to stop again i never had this problem when i was self harming and not taking my pills ... i need it tho the pain i need the pain to make me calm i need it so i can go back to the way things were me alone and cold i liked things that way cold numbing and best of all alone no one to worry about me no one to even notice me i like things that way

[Love.Hate]

The pain you want will only make you calm for a very small amount of time. This small period of "calmness" is not worth it. Find other ways to make yourself calm. Not this, because your only going to go and regret it.

Your not weak, you dont "need" it. Its just your brain telling you that you do. You dont, you can get through this. Just try to focus your mind on something else for a bit, reading? writing? exercise? Playing in VT's Arcade? anything.

Give it time and this feeling will pass :hug:

[bambino]

Like Fran said.
You don't need it, you're stronger than you think. We all are. You just need something worth striving for, set yourself a goal. That maybe cutting stops you doing- wearing certain clothes, being confident, being open, going for a job, drawing attention to yourself incase they see the cuts etc.

I understand [I'm also on antidepressants, i assume thats what you mean by pills] about how the noise returns and the people and the stress. Because you are not numbed to everything anymore, you're not 'depressed' and empty. You have to deal with life.
But living is more rewarding than trying to pass life by in an isolated bubble of your own.