Unfortunate Anniversary

[sophierocks]

today is the anniversary of my best friend ever killing herself. :'( its one of those wounds that never heals. :( i feel so sick today. i remember when it happened like it was yesterday and it keeps playing back in my head. ive got no one to talk to and no one to comfort me. my parents are dead, my only living relatives are away and my roomies are gone for the weekend. :( its hitting me harder than it ever has before. i dont understand why this is so. i think i need to go back to cutting :'(

[flumeendeavors]

Please dont. Coming from someone who's done every kind of pain to herself possible...it wont help anything. I mean, yeah you'll feel better for a second and then you are going to be back to feeling pain again. I had a friend kill himself 2 years ago and his anniversary is coming up in september and i am looking forward to it because it will give me a chance to talk to him and to tell him that my life is still going on even though he couldnt handle it. Ill tell him all of the great things that have happened and i will tell him that i am thinking of him every day and that i still love him. Tell that to her. Even though she's dead, she still needs a little bit of love. Dont take that away from her by hurting yourself. I know how hard it is to be in such unbearable pain and not know what else to do but cut yourself. I know the feeling very well but trust me...its not going to help you. Ive got thick scars all over my arms and hips now and a couple on my legs and you know what? It fucking sucks. It sucks to see them every day and to have little kids ask me what happened. So please dont do it.