new setting:college

[teenmanchester]

hi, i rarely post things on the site, mostly because i know that i am gay and that the only real problems i have is that i'm not out and i don't have a boyfriend but at the moment i'm cool with that.

so anyway i'm 16 and for many people of my age in the uk, school is over and i'm going to college and i've been wondering whether to just tell people i'm gay when i'm there or gradually just open up to people one by one. i remember when my sister was at college and she said that a guy came out in her college and did it then and not in high school because of bullying, lying etc. when college is a fresh start for everyone.

so at the moment i've just been contemplating what to do and if i could tell anyone 1st then it would be my mum because she's the most important person in the world and we share a greater bond then her and my sister. but i think she already knows about me and has dropped hints before which i have quickly diverted. on one hand she says stuff like i hope you will treat a girl right when you have one, then she'll say things that a mothers love is unconditional and she'll love me no matter what. i don't care about what my friends say, just what she'd say.

any advice? and thanks for reading!

[EastsideStoner]

I think your mom will understand you coming out, from what you posted she seems very understanding. Coming out in college is a great idea. I just finished my first year of college and you notice a huge change in people. People are way more understanding. Like you said it's a fresh start so do what you think feels right. If you think you are ready come out do it up, but if not wait it out. My opinion is that this is a great time though if you want to come out.

[teenmanchester]

thanks, i'm gonna wait at least a couple of months for college so i can make new friends and my mum, idk she can be very up and down especially recently, thats what makes it more harder.

[Ambrosia]

Honestly, don't just wait to tell people, and don't just come out and say it. It's no ones business but your own of whether or not you are homosexual. Just be yourself there, and if someone wants to know, you can tell them. The TRUTH.

College is a whole new situation and world for all of us. There will be plenty more people of your type there whom are open and out there and ready to be friends (And perhaps more?) with you. You can become a totally different person in college, change your entire perspective on the world and on yourself. Because you hid some a crucial part of yourself in High School this is your chance to become that person you truly want to be in college.

As for your mother, well. Telling her is something you must wait for the right time to do. She may already know, or have some sort of an idea that this is true. She probably won't be too quick to adapt to it, as most mothers aren't, but if you choose the right time and phrasing to tell her than it should go over smoothly.

[teenmanchester]

thanks for that advice, i agree totally with the college thing, but i am gonna wait to tell my mum, atm she's been very emotional over something that i really can't say and telling her would just be too much for her so i'm gonna wait, thank you again :)