Wow is this allowed?(not really bad)

[Nathan13]

Ok so before i begin let me tell you how and why-

Ok so i think i LOVE yes LOVE my little(girl) cousins friend who is 11 and im 14 so theres a 3- 3 1/2 difference is that allowed? most people only go out with a 2 year difference but i don find anything attractive about girls my age lol wierd?



ok story- 2 years ago me(12) i was at my cuz's b-day party and she brought her best freind over(the girl im tallking about) and i was like AH omg(i had a gf at the time) but i was starting to like her more than my gf(we eventually broke up) and after the party i didnt see her for 2 years i forgot her name some of what she looked like until 2 days ago

im now 14 and she is 11 i LOVE her(i think about her every minute since i saw her 2 days ago)

The good thing- i was staying over at my cuz's and then she asked if the girl could stay ove r:cool: so she did and we played games on the ds and stuff until another friend we all know came up and eventually i got in truble by wy cuz so i had to stay in my 18 yo cuz's room then they decided to do an all nighter so at like 4 they asked me to come back in but my big cuz says "you are a tennage boy they are young girls(ones my cuz and the other i know) so i felt awkward

eventually at like 6 i went in the girl i like was alseep :(

and she had to go at 10am so the time ran out quickly

i have added her on fb and a website that we all go on so now i can talk to her xD


but question-

1.is a 3 year gap ok?
2.i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you?
3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her (i like to look at her fb picture LOL) although im not a wierdo that sits and looks at her picture and stalks her lol. is there anything wrong with that?





oh yeah and she likes me as a friend so its not like im a stranger


oh and a reason i like her apart from loks is that shes wierd.............like me. she does fun things like jump about crazy as me big cousin would say "stop acting immature" aka wierd xD

oh and not trying to be opposite of modest? but alot of girls ask me out in my class and i say no so dont say" waht are you trying this wont work" ect

Please don't double post. If you need to add additional information to a previous post, please edit it. -Jon/Donkey

[Dack]

They only thing I can say about this is I don't think it's a good idea because SHE'S FUCKING ELEVEN. No eleven year olds have boyfriends. Period. They might have a schoolgirl crush but they do not have bboyfriends. I say no cause it's just fucking wierd...put yourself in her position, would you like dating a guy that much older especially at the age she is?

[Nathan13]

Actually yes i was dating a 14 yr old girl at 11.
my 11 yr old cuz has had 5 bf's
my bro (11) has had about 5 gf
the girl im talking about has had 1
and i know alot more

these days people have relationships at younger ages

and if you still say no then i seem 12 btw most people think im 12

[grock]

Actually yes i was dating a 14 yr old girl at 11.
my 11 yr old cuz has had 5 bf's
my bro (11) has had about 5 gf
the girl im talking about has had 1
and i know alot more

these days people have relationships at younger ages

But there is no way an 11 year old can fall in love? :d

[Clum]

nathan, i'd wait till at least 12 1/2 - 13 . I live in London and its around that age when most people get their first partner. I know you'll be 15 but you said you looked 12? It might work but for now i'd leave it for a while. At risk of screwing up your reputation at school and stuff, and these girls in your class that want to go out with you, give them a go :) you never know what might happen

[Nathan13]

nathan, i'd wait till at least 12 1/2 - 13 . I live in London and its around that age when most people get their first partner. I know you'll be 15 but you said you looked 12? It might work but for now i'd leave it for a while. At risk of screwing up your reputation at school and stuff, and these girls in your class that want to go out with you, give them a go :) you never know what might happen

i know but 15 seems too old for me i might look older becuase the girl im talking about likes me says her best friend(my cousin) and she is 12 in about 8 months

But if she knows how to have a bf ect then it is ok

[Clum]

see 15 - 12 may seem like a big difference ( im 14 and ive only ever gone out with 13's when i was 13 and 14's this year ) but when you think about it. There are lots of relationships with 3 year gaps, but theyre just older.I know 17's going out with 14's but thats a long time to wait i guess, and also if you do go out with her, dont do anything you shouldnt. Be careful or you could screw your life up quite easily

[Nathan13]

well what i dont get is that there is a 3 year gap 11-14 she most likely knows more about dating than me(:O) and if it did happen and we did go out would there be a problem?

oh and nothing would happen in school i have school freinds and out of school friends only the out of school friends would know and i wouldnt mind if school friends did

oh and my first gf i had i was 11 and she was 9 and she still likes me xD

[Clum]

okay fair enough, but remember doing anything 'kinky' at that age is EXTREMELY illegal, you could get put on a Sex Offenders Register which will affect which jobs you get when your older. My only piece of advice is to think things through before you do anything buddy

oh and my first gf i had i was 11 and she was 9 and she still likes me xD

you were just little kids at that age xD

Please don't double post. If you need to add additional information to a previous post, please edit it. -Jon/Donkey

[Nathan13]

okay fair enough, but remember doing anything 'kinky' at that age is EXTREMELY illegal, you could get put on a Sex Offenders Register which will affect which jobs you get when your older. My only piece of advice is to think things through before you do anything buddy

Ok no that i wont do...........ive had 7 gf's and never kissed a girl would i do something kinky 0_- lol

you were just little kids at that age xD

i still feel the same way about dating....probebly why i dont like to date the girls in my class

[JackShephard]

Not to be blunt, but that's kinda weird. I know this senior who is dating a girl in 8th grade and it's really fucking weird. He's like 18 and she's like 14. He could go to jail. Just stay away from it.

[Nathan13]

Yeah hes 18 hes an adult im 14 and look act and sometimes think im 11-12-13 lol

LOST FAN WOOHOOO

[JackShephard]

It's still weird! We are at an age where one year really can set us apart from each other. It wouldn't be a big deal if you guys where in your thirties. Honestly, a kid would be made fun of in my school for that.

[Nathan13]

well maybe its different in scotland? becuase my cuosin(11) is going out with a 15 year old

ok pretend she is 14 and answer the questions

[Donkey]

At the end of the day, if you're both happy and comfortable with the relationship then there isn't a problem. You've just got to think about what your friends and family might think, and whether you want to sacrifice your reputation for it.

[Nathan13]

At the end of the day, if you're both happy and comfortable with the relationship then there isn't a problem. You've just got to think about what your friends and family might think, and whether you want to sacrifice your reputation for it.

id say its ok and i dont get whatyou by reputation would get sacrificed?

[Donkey]

If other people disagree with it and think it's immoral, they will probably not like you as much. Unfortunately that's the way society works: sometimes you have to do things to please others rather than yourself.

[Nathan13]

If other people disagree with it and think it's immoral, they will probably not like you as much. Unfortunately that's the way society works: sometimes you have to do things to please others rather than yourself.

Ok well its fine then becuase everyone i know thinks it normal?

[Donkey]

If that's the case, and everyone's happy, and you're not doing anything sexual then I don't have a problem.

[Nathan13]

If that's the case, and everyone's happy, and you're not doing anything sexual then I don't have a problem.

Ok and to get back ON TOPIC i only asked for the 3 questions to be answered :P lol

[digbycooper]

dude...she's eleven :/

[superstar2067]

Right now I reckon it's to big of an age gap but if you both were older (Think both of you in your 20's) It would be perfectly alright

[DerBear]

Well first of all no you are both young and she is well young like if you were 18 and she was 15 or 16 it would not be too bad but 14y old and an 11 year old just plain wrong and it is a big no

I dont find it a problem with you likeing her but to go out with her and want to do things with her that falls into a problem

The facebook thing well that is a problem i will say as it will look and sounds creepy that u look at her pic a lot

also she has not developed where as u have

[Tango]

1.is a 3 year gap ok?
It's ok when you're like 20+ but besides that it can be a bit odd. You guys are at completely different levels of maturity. You are going into high school, and she hasn't even started middle school. Right? So much changes between elementary school and middle school.

2.i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you?
Like I said, you are going into high school.

3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her (i like to look at her fb picture LOL) although im not a wierdo that sits and looks at her picture and stalks her lol. is there anything wrong with that?


It's kind of creepy, but there's nothing wrong with it I guess.

You are 14, you don't LOVE her. You are infatuated with her.

[Nicky97]

1. is a 3 year gap ok?
2. i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you?
3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her ... is there anything wrong with that?
I'm with Donkey on this. The way I see it, you need to enjoy being young. It's gone way too quickly. Maybe it's the word "dating" that bothers people so much. Not kissing (you really ought to get a peck on the cheek now and then), not touching, no chance of any "making out". That sounds like kids playing the little girl game of "boyfriends". My 8 yo neighbor does that, and we just ignore the grown-up terms that she and her friends use to describe their little game.

It does get people nervous because of what THEY want to do to a girl when "dating". Don't let them stop you from being yourself. You know right from wrong. There is nothing wrong with having friends younger. And if it were me, I'd stop asking myself "is this OK?" every step of the way. Don't constantly be comparing yourself to others.

And don't expect others to understand how YOU are. Just be who YOU are and enjoy it. And don't do things that cause people to get hurt.

[Nathan13]

Ok listen everyone im not mature yet everyone says i act like a 11 year old and i look like one and think like one

i dont want to kiss her i just wish she liked me then that would be that as i said ive had 7 gf's and never kissed i told you im very immature so i dont care about kissing or anything all i care about is the fact that she would be like my girlfriend not to kiss or anything.
she is th EXACT same size as me

[undisclosed]

Ok guys i know this boy irl he is nohing like what you would imagine. He is very immature in all ways he looks acts and thinks young he plays with younger guys/girls and he hasnt kissed a girl and doesnt want to i say this is perfectly normal i know the girl that he is talking about the are the same in all ways he has sleepover with 11 and 12 year olds he laughs at very young things so hes not the kinda guy you think he is please believe him or me.....

[Nathan13]

Ok guys i know this boy irl he is nohing like what you would imagine. He is very immature in all ways he looks acts and thinks young he plays with younger guys/girls and he hasnt kissed a girl and doesnt want to i say this is perfectly normal i know the girl that he is talking about the are the same in all ways he has sleepover with 11 and 12 year olds he laughs at very young things so hes not the kinda guy you think he is please believe him or me.....

Thanks but ahh you know who i like ?? :o

Ok i found out that the main reason is i like to spend time with her its not about kissing or even if we did go out and i was like 20 and she was 17 it wouldnt even be sex i dont want any of that only if she asks me hell im not even going to ask her out in case she says no and hates me i just want to spend time with her like playing games, laughing and stuff i just like her i dont care if i dont go out it would be good if we were close friends becuase then we could spend time together maybe its cuz ive nevr had any friends that were girls or even a very close friend :(


i just want someone that like me can tell me stuff and all that

It's ok when you're like 20+ but besides that it can be a bit odd. You guys are at completely different levels of maturity. You are going into high school, and she hasn't even started middle school. Right? So much changes between elementary school and middle school.


Like I said, you are going into high school.



It's kind of creepy, but there's nothing wrong with it I guess.

You are 14, you don't LOVE her. You are infatuated with her.

ni im 2 years into high scool and she is going in next year

I'm with Donkey on this. The way I see it, you need to enjoy being young. It's gone way too quickly. Maybe it's the word "dating" that bothers people so much. Not kissing (you really ought to get a peck on the cheek now and then), not touching, no chance of any "making out". That sounds like kids playing the little girl game of "boyfriends". My 8 yo neighbor does that, and we just ignore the grown-up terms that she and her friends use to describe their little game.

It does get people nervous because of what THEY want to do to a girl when "dating". Don't let them stop you from being yourself. You know right from wrong. There is nothing wrong with having friends younger. And if it were me, I'd stop asking myself "is this OK?" every step of the way. Don't constantly be comparing yourself to others.

And don't expect others to understand how YOU are. Just be who YOU are and enjoy it. And don't do things that cause people to get hurt.


Thanks you always answer my questions in a good understandable way

---Please don't Quadruple Post and don't keep spamming the same thread over and over again, even if you are the OP. That edit button gets mighty cold when you choose the Post Reply instead.---

The next time you double post WILL result in an infraction! Listen to us now. -Jon/Donkey

[DerBear]

dude your still younger by miles even though you are a immature litttle boy in the inside you are a older boy on the outside even though you may look young you will develop and when you develop she wont until she is older its kinda creepy in a sense. i know this 14 year old gril who dated a 25 year old lets just say that did not end well. Even though you are now where near that age group you are still older and at this critical age you need to be with someone your own age maybe when your in your 20s it will be ok ir when your 25 but for now stick with people your own age

also Kieran you should not encourge this. Just because hew is young looking and young in the mind still makes it weird to everyone else now normally i could not give 2 shits about what people think but i do agree with most people on this subject when your older it does not matter but at your age it does

[LifeisLife]

1.is a 3 year gap ok? I would say there's nothing wrong with that, but only if you're both a little older... (20+)
2.i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you? kinda, if you're a teenager and want to date an 11 year old that's a little odd, but once again, i dont see a huge problem with that...
3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her (i like to look at her fb picture LOL) although im not a wierdo that sits and looks at her picture and stalks her lol. is there anything wrong with that? kinda strange...

[Solo Rider]

Ok here's a storry.... My mom was 13 my dad was 18... They got together... They married when she turned 18 their still together now (18 years). Weird right? Yeah, well something's are... Best of luck to you...

[Giles]

Ignoring literally everything else you've said. There's one reason why this is completely wrong.


im not mature yet everyone says i act like a 11 year old and i look like one and think like one

i dont want to kiss her i just wish she liked me then that would be that as i said ive had 7 gf's and never kissed i told you im very immature so i dont care about kissing or anything all i care about is the fact that she would be like my girlfriend not to kiss or anything.
she is th EXACT same size as me

Physical aspects don't matter, at all, in this. Unless you were going to have sex in which case that would be completely wrong. But as you've said yourself you aren't mature enough to want/have sex. The fact that you're immature is the reason that you shouldn't want or actually be with her, it's obvious just from this thread that you shouldn't be with her. And that's even ignoring the fact that you're related.

[DerBear]

Ignoring literally everything else you've said. There's one reason why this is completely wrong.




Physical aspects don't matter, at all, in this. Unless you were going to have sex in which case that would be completely wrong. But as you've said yourself you aren't mature enough to want/have sex. The fact that you're immature is the reason that you shouldn't want or actually be with her, it's obvious just from this thread that you shouldn't be with her. And that's even ignoring the fact that you're related.

i agree maturity is important when it comes to a age gap like this

If you dont show you can hanndle having an 11year old GF by being mature well then even the slightest hope is gone

its wrong face it

[Nathan13]

ok when i was 11 i went out with an 8 year old and there was i 3 year gap guys its ok there is nothing wrong withj it i actually find it more crazy being like 18 and 15 wich would be wrong but its ok seriously >.<

What about when you see 60 yr old men dating 20 yr old women and thats perfectly normal? i think thats disgusting

is 12-15 ok?

Also if i was 12 then this would be ok and as ive said i seem like a 12 year old so it ok




Also i just been reading online posts like "can you spell dating at 11?"

But infact i remeber being 11 i was like the only one in my class that wasnt dating everyone in my class was all wearing make up ect
and in my country at 11 you learn sex ed so of course you will understand
11 YEAR OLDS AR NOT BABIES i think its the perfect age being 11-12 becuase you are old enough to understand and you are not to old i mean people in my class talk about sex and sexual things even most 11 year old boys i know say sexual stuff i mean when i was 11 and was going out with a 9 year old she asked me out she asked to kiss me and i said not yet now heres the wierd part she said "lets look at each other naked" (she is 9 ) so maybe were you are all from its different but beleive me 11 year olds watch nickalodeon and they see all of the shows and people dating they want to date and for me im mature enough to date and not do anything stupid/sexual (thats sick) if a girl wants to go out with me thasts 11 and i like her i will say yes not becuase i wnat to kiss her or worse only becuase i want someone in my life who i can trust and tell anything it doesnt matter how young unless its 10> when i was 10 i started to watch porn i wangted gf's i wanted stuff like that now the girl im talking about is 11 1/2 im 14 its OK it doesnt matter if we are in our 20's or teen and preteens if both people like each other then its ok whats wrong with me wanting to go out with someone just becuase i like them like looking at there face and to know that she is mine if we are friends she still has other friends. my parents started dating at age 10 and 14 and now they are 42 and 38.

to be honest i dont like girls in my clasds becuase they are too mature they talk about sex they wear make up and lol they have boobs

the girl i like wheres no makeup no boobs nothing thats why i like her
i dont want to kiss or do anything sexual i only want to be close and protect her and to tell the truth ive only had one gf im immature and very un street smart

i wish i could be with this girl from now until im 19 and for as long as i can not for sex or even kissing just becuase im maybe lonely? need a good close friend ive never had a best friend im not a good friend maker im not very sociable one of the reasons why i hang out with younger ppl ive missed some of my chgild hood i used to get called names becuase i was shy my closest thing to a best friend would be my gf until i told you what happend i get jelous when i see people and thier best friends becuase i dont have one and never had but if i went out with this girl id have a close friend. ive never had a freind that when im hurt says are you ok. never had one that one that will trust me and not make fun of me im just sad and lonely

Also to proof this my dream since i was 7 was to get rich and move to Los Angeles but now that ive met this girl im happy to stay here


i just really dont see a problem with wanting a close friend that i could also call a gf


I really really wish i was 12 :(
wow thats quite alot of stuff i just told you

[Giles]

Look, you asked us what we thought and we've told you. The general thoughts seem to be that it's wrong and you shouldn't want/try to be with her. Regardless of your maturity, it's your actual age that is the main concern. You're a teenager and she's preteen...

[Nathan13]

There is nothing wrong she said i asked her "if i asked you would you go out with me" and she said id love too

[Emily_LOVES_MUSIC]

1.is a 3 year gap ok?

definitely. i had a boyfriend when i was 10, he was 17. he didnt have a problem with it, and neither did i.

2.i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you?

nope not at all.

3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her (i like to look at her fb picture LOL) although im not a wierdo that sits and looks at her picture and stalks her lol. is there anything wrong with that?

nope. its perfectly fine, you love her, its perfectly normal.




hope that helped :-)

[DerBear]

still wrong 10 posts ago still wrong now

[mogawowo]

Hello, I'm a random person from the internet, I signed up to this site after somehow getting here from reddit and seeing this post, I have one thing to say.

What are you playing at child, get a grip, She is eleven, If you like the girl sure ask her to be your friend and say you want to play together more.. but for fecks sake man i hope you are a troll, if not may god have mercy on our souls...


Narwhals are all the rage at the moment!

[Dswil]

Dude. Your kinda immature. Because no one meets a girl of that age and falls immediately in love. You shouldnt. Be talking about love. Hell, I shouldn't tell my gf I love her but we have been together. For 2 and a half years. You just have a crush. Chill it's your hormones.

Oh and btw. 11 year olds really are babies. They act so immature. Trust
Me. It would be an awful relationship anyways.

----Please don't double post or say cruel things to other VT members. Use the edit button and your nice words!---

[Giles]

Oh and btw. 11 year olds really are babies. They act so immature. Trust
Me. It would be an awful relationship anyways.

Apparently he's just as immature so who knows that would be like...

[Nathan13]

1.is a 3 year gap ok?

definitely. i had a boyfriend when i was 10, he was 17. he didnt have a problem with it, and neither did i.

2.i am a teenage boy but i dont see a problem do you?

nope not at all.

3. i Feel like i am addicted to looking at her (i like to look at her fb picture LOL) although im not a wierdo that sits and looks at her picture and stalks her lol. is there anything wrong with that?

nope. its perfectly fine, you love her, its perfectly normal.




hope that helped :-)

Thanks, can i ask where you are from?

Dude. Your kinda immature. Because no one meets a girl of that age and falls immediately in love. You shouldnt. Be talking about love. Hell, I shouldn't tell my gf I love her but we have been together. For 2 and a half years. You just have a crush. Chill it's your hormones.

Oh and btw. 11 year olds really are babies. They act so immature. Trust
Me. It would be an awful relationship anyways.

----Please don't double post or say cruel things to other VT members. Use the edit button and your nice words!---

-_- i know im immature but not as immature as a baby and 11 year oilds arent babies they are 11 girls mature more than boys so meh


Also- Who cares what age you are if both people want to be together then its ok

---Please don't DOUBLE POST---

[Kayden]

It is allowed, but It would be frowned apon by society.

[DerBear]

-_- i know im immature but not as immature as a baby and 11 year oilds arent babies they are 11 girls mature more than boys so meh


Also- Who cares what age you are if both people want to be together then its ok

Yes girls do mature more earlier than boys but not really at 11

Also at the age of 11 girls tend to go with guys who are rather mature. Well from what you see now a-days

[Nathan13]

Yes girls do mature more earlier than boys but not really at 11

Also at the age of 11 girls tend to go with guys who are rather mature. Well from what you see now a-days

I am mature enough.

And her best freind says she rated me 100/10 so :p

[Giles]

Ok listen everyone im not mature yet

i told you im very immature

I am mature enough.

And her best freind says she rated me 100/10 so :p

You said yourself you're immature. I really hope you didn't take the 'rating' to heart.

[DerBear]

yes i rated my mate out of friendly-ness wise and i did 11/10 its a figure of speach and i thought you said you were not mature

[Nathan13]

Well guys she asked me out and i said ill tell you after and all her freinds say i should do it so......Should i?

[kai99]

1. that's ok
2. Nothing at all.
3. You are in love

[Nathan13]

1. that's ok
2. Nothing at all.
3. You are in love

Thanks :)

[Giles]

Well guys she asked me out and i said ill tell you after and all her freinds say i should do it so......Should i?

No, practically everyone in this thread has said no so far but you brushed off everything we said as rubbish so you're going to go ahead with it no matter what we say.

[Nathan13]

-_-........ anyway she is 2 yrs 4 months younger really not that big a difference and im sorry if i need it dummed down but i see no problem

[PervertedStalker]

ok, so its like a broken record now, almost everyone whos responded says no, and so do i. at least wait til shes older, i cant really say much more though cuz im 15 and dating someone almost 19... but at least wait a bit longer cuz if u dont it will b weird 4 both of you and its kinda disgusting 4 an 11 yr old 2 be dating ANYONE especially a 14 year old.

[Giles]

2 Years wouldn't be much of a problem, normally. But she's 11 - you might think it's Ok but very few other people will.


i cant really say much more though cuz im 15 and dating someone almost 19...

I'd say that's ok though, you're old enough and mature enough to know what you're doing and what you want.

[Nathan13]

2 Years wouldn't be much of a problem, normally. But she's 11 - you might think it's Ok but very few other people will.




I'd say that's ok though, you're old enough and mature enough to know what you're doing and what you want.

But i really Dont see the difference between a 30 year old and a 27 year old and a 14 year old and a 11 year old who infact asked me out randomly.

Oh and about the other guys post that you replied to: We would both know what we are doing so i SILL dont see a problem.
Where im from theres barely anyone who dates someone the same age as them the boys are always older

[vegangurl03]

hey if u guys like each other, who cares?! people get married who are like 10 yrs apart. i dont see a problem other than its not "normal". but then again, what is?!?! haha.

[Nathan13]

hey if u guys like each other, who cares?! people get married who are like 10 yrs apart. i dont see a problem other than its not "normal". but then again, what is?!?! haha.

Thats what ive been saying. And i would go out with her but if people here think theres a problem the i need to know why becuase im confused.

[vegangurl03]

its just not what most people would do. no one has the right to say u cant go out with someone just cuz they're like 2 years younger than u or whatever. go for it!!!

[Nathan13]

its just not what most people would do. no one has the right to say u cant go out with someone just cuz they're like 2 years younger than u or whatever. go for it!!!

Thanks. But its still normal right?

[vegangurl03]

i think it is. i guarantee other people think it is too. but some dont. its that way with a lot of things... but if u like her enough, that shouldn't really matter and u guys will be happy!!!

[Nathan13]

i think it is. i guarantee other people think it is too. but some dont. its that way with a lot of things... but if u like her enough, that shouldn't really matter and u guys will be happy!!!

:D



I think the reason is becuase just becuase im a teen i will do something bad? Thats what it would be like with a 19 yr old and an 11 yr old

[vegangurl03]

ya i guess if she were 13 and u were 16 or something it would maybe be different. probably cuz ur a teenager and she's not. yeah. but who knows?! i still think u should say yes :P

[Nathan13]

ya i guess if she were 13 and u were 16 or something it would maybe be different. probably cuz ur a teenager and she's not. yeah. but who knows?! i still think u should say yes :P

Ok ill say yes tommorow thanks.

[vegangurl03]

no problem!!! good luck :)

[Giles]

i need to know why becuase im confused.

She's 11, that's why. It's what myself and others have been saying since you first asked, but you don't seem to take it in.

But i really Dont see the difference between a 30 year old and a 27 year old and a 14 year old and a 11 year old who infact asked me out randomly.

Ok, you don't see the difference. I do and so would the majority of people you asked I would imagine.

[Tango]

Why are you asking for our opinions still if you aren't going to listen?

[Nathan13]

Why are you asking for our opinions still if you aren't going to listen?

I am listening but i dont see a problem.
Please tell me what the problem would be and dont say "Becuase she is 11" just tell me exactly

[DerBear]

I am listening but i dont see a problem.
Please tell me what the problem would be and dont say "Becuase she is 11" just tell me exactly

FOR FUCK SAKE honestly

We have just explaind in the last god knows how many posts why it is wrong ok

YOUR 14 SHES 11 an stupid 5 year old could do the math and come to a conclusion that it is wrong

[JackShephard]

No matter how much you want it to be right, it's wrong. I'm telling you, that is way too big of age difference for your stage of life. Let it go, find someone your age. I promise that someone ur age would suit you better.

[Giles]

I am listening but i dont see a problem.
Please tell me what the problem would be and dont say "Becuase she is 11" just tell me exactly

"Because she is 11" is as exact as is humanly possible.

[vegangurl03]

No matter how much you want it to be right, it's wrong. I'm telling you, that is way too big of age difference for your stage of life. Let it go, find someone your age. I promise that someone ur age would suit you better.

if u guys like each other, its not a problem. ur only like 2 years apart. no big deal. i can tell u like her a lot. and she asked u out. so do it!!!

[Hatsune Miku]

As everyone has said, because she is fucking eleven. I mean come on, 12 AT THE LEAST, but eleven? I shouldn't even have to explain the reasons why this is wrong and I'm pretty open about alot of things.

[XomaggsoX]

go for it

[JackShephard]

Whatever dude. Do what you do. It's just weird IMO and she's too young to even be dating.

[judahtics]

i would highly suggest waiting. if it's truly love, it will wait a couple years until she's mature enough to handle a boyfriend and relationship.

[Saosin]

Yeah hes 18 hes an adult im 14 and look act and sometimes think im 11-12-13 lol

LOST FAN WOOHOOO

Let's say that you decide to date this girl... Maybe your relationship lasts a few years. It would then become illegal for your to date her. You can't just think short term if you say you are in "love" with this girl.

And it is acceptable for adults to date with a large age gap because by the time you are that age your mind has developed, and you are aware of what you are doing. At the age of 14, you certainly have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Hormones are very influential during teen years.

[Dawson]

Dude I had 3 gfs by the time of 3rd grade anyone who says 11 y/os have no bf/gf is wrong.

[DerBear]

Let's say that you decide to date this girl... Maybe your relationship lasts a few years. It would then become illegal for your to date her. You can't just think short term if you say you are in "love" with this girl.

And it is acceptable for adults to date with a large age gap because by the time you are that age your mind has developed, and you are aware of what you are doing. At the age of 14, you certainly have no idea what you are getting yourself into. Hormones are very influential during teen years.

it would not be illegal to date her. if he did anything more than make out with her then it would be illegal

(not defending just saying)

[Nathan13]

Ok say this:
I like her she likes me
its only 2 and a quarter years apart
What would i possibly do wrong? All the stuff you think i might do i wouldnt.

So your saying at 12 when im 15?

I dont want to not have a gf until im 20-21 and she is 18+ becuase i just dont think that would be good sinnce i like her now and i wouldnt do anything wrong

imagine that we both liked each other and i wouldnt do anything wrong and then would it be ok?

@ Derri- at this age 11(nearly 12) and 14 i wasnt even thinking about making out so at the older age nothing will happen


Now i have done some more searchuing AND FOUND SOMETHING WHICH WAS LIKE WHAT I SAID-
Ok say a 25 year old went out with a 22 year old it'd be all cool.
Here I explain the point....
If Tom's immature, looks younger than he is and is sexually inexperienced then yeah - its ok, and I don't think its a problem. Besides even if he IS sexually experienced, looks his age and is mature to the highest point most fifteen year old boys can be and she looks older, is more mature than your average 12 year old girl and is sexually experienced (I don't necessarily mean full on sex, but most boys - sorry this is crude - but usually try and get your to play with their below average size silly willy because thats all they reaaaaaaaaaally think about) then again I PERSONALLY think its ok.
To be honest people think way to deeply about chronological age, - I think its about how mature you are! POINT EXPLAINED.
Also....
Obviously it wouldn't be cool for a 17 years and above old boy to be with a twelve year old because that really is a bit steep as most boys by that age are only thinking about one thing - SEX, and anyone over that age could be very influental on someone so young - even without doing so intentionally, and in the eyes of the law anyone over sixteen engaging in sexual activity with a minor is doing something very wrong and either manipulating the 'child' (the minor they are engaging with' by - 'taking advantage' of or - even if the two are quite possibly actually in love they are still 'downright defying the law'.
well I say **** the ******* system - love is love
letem be!

Ok so that basicly says its ok since im in young teens and she is nearly in teens and if nothing sexual will happen then its ok and its different if im 17 and she is 11 but im not 17 so its ok?

Saw something else about a 16 year old and a 13 year old what would they talk about well for us we kind of have the same inmterests and before i liked her we used to play stuff so we have stuff to do and i know i seem 13 and she seems 12 so is that really a problem? i went out with a 9 year oild at 11. And i watch alot of law and order svu so i know exactly what you think might happen but it wont


And i also remeber when my freind(girl) was 12 and this boy who was 17 was hanging out with us the police where walking by and said to him is that your gf there? so whats that then the police said its ok

Also look at this FB page and tell me what the majority of comments are. Comments against the page Which is with me-

http://www.facebook.com/pages/17-or-18-year-old-guys-dating-a-13-or-14-year-old-little-girls-is-WRONG/247732657586

[Giles]

Ok say this:
I like her she likes me
its only 2 and a quarter years apart
What would i possibly do wrong? All the stuff you think i might do i wouldnt.

So your saying at 12 when im 15?

I dont want to not have a gf until im 20-21 and she is 18+ becuase i just dont think that would be good sinnce i like her now and i wouldnt do anything wrong

You don't need to wait until you're 21. Have a girlfriend now, by all means. Just not someone that's preteen.

imagine that we both liked each other and i wouldnt do anything wrong and then would it be ok?

We're not denying that you like each other, we're saying that it is ridiculous for you to be together because of the age difference.

@ Derri- at this age 11(nearly 12) and 14 i wasnt even thinking about making out so at the older age nothing will happen

That's the most ridiculous logic I've ever heard. Because you weren't thinking about making out, nothing will happen when you're older? So because I wasn't thinking about sex when I was 12, I won't want to have sex when I'm 18? That doesn't make any sense at all.


Now i have done some more searchuing AND FOUND SOMETHING WHICH WAS LIKE WHAT I SAID-
Ok say a 25 year old went out with a 22 year old it'd be all cool.
Here I explain the point....
If Tom's immature, looks younger than he is and is sexually inexperienced then yeah - its ok, and I don't think its a problem. Besides even if he IS sexually experienced, looks his age and is mature to the highest point most fifteen year old boys can be and she looks older, is more mature than your average 12 year old girl and is sexually experienced (I don't necessarily mean full on sex, but most boys - sorry this is crude - but usually try and get your to play with their below average size silly willy because thats all they reaaaaaaaaaally think about) then again I PERSONALLY think its ok.

25-22 age gap is nothing at that age though. My parents have a 6 or 7 (bad that I can't remember? Lol) age gap but it doesn't mean anything because they love each other and they're both mature enough to realise that. When the people involved are teenagers, or not in her case, then it gets more unacceptable for there to be that large of an age gap.

To be honest people think way to deeply about chronological age, - I think its about how mature you are!

You have said yourself that she is mature for her age and you're immature. So you're both about as mature as 12 year olds? And people of that age shouldn't be in a relationship, especially because you are actually older and inevitably you will think about going further than making out. Regardless of what you think now.

well I say **** the ******* system - love is love
letem be!

Well if that's how you feel then why did you bother even asking us? You asked out opinions and thoughts and have completely ignored what we've said. It's obvious you've made up your mind so I don't see why you're still bothering to post here.

Ok so that basicly says its ok since im in young teens and she is nearly in teens and if nothing sexual will happen then its ok and its different if im 17 and she is 11 but im not 17 so its ok?

If you were 17 then that would be completely fucked up, but you're not. Doesn't make it Ok though. It's the same point that a lot of people have made she's 11 and you're 14. Simple.

Saw something else about a 16 year old and a 13 year old what would they talk about well for us we kind of have the same inmterests and before i liked her we used to play stuff so we have stuff to do and i know i seem 13 and she seems 12 so is that really a problem? i went out with a 9 year oild at 11. And i watch alot of law and order svu so i know exactly what you think might happen but it wont

I don't care what you'd talk about. The actual dynamics of the relationship, if it happened, wouldn't be the problem. I'm sure you'd get along just fine. But again, that doesn't make it Ok. Law and Order? What are you even talking about?

And i also remeber when my freind(girl) was 12 and this boy who was 17 was hanging out with us the police where walking by and said to him is that your gf there? so whats that then the police said its ok

The police must not have realised that they were the ages that they were, or you completely misunderstood their intentions and/or comments. No police in this country would condone that kind of thing - unless Scotland is significantly different.

[DerBear]

Anyone remind me where my base ball bat is because i think we need to knock some sense into him.

Look your logic is clearly flawed you need to re-think when using your logic

still wrong

[Nathan13]

Well just say that nothing would happen like its all planned out that nothing will happen and that we both will like each other and everyone else will think its ok then would you say there is nothing wrong?

[Dack]

Here is a way to think about it:


You're 14. You're three years older than she is. You're much more developed than her and as such you should know right from wrong. What if you want to have sex with her? If you do and her parents find out...you're getting on the sex offender list. It's not even a right or wrong thing anymore. It's just plain wrong.

[mixter226]

you seem to not understand the difference between a 40 and 40 year old dating and a 11 and 14 year old. as you said you are young and immature so i am going to be clear and simple a possible. the difference is a 11 year old and 14 year old are leagues different in developmental stages mental and physical. this is because a 11 year old has not entered puberty or has barely started and a 14 year old has weather you see it or not. now a 40 and 30 year old are mental and physically. so weather they are 10 years apart doesn't matter. now with a 12 year old or 18 year old or in you:whoops: case 11 and 14 it does matter

[JackShephard]

I can tell you really want this to be ok. You seem to be trying your hardest to dismiss everyone else's reasoning and substitute your own. Dude, number one, the age difference matters when you guys are this young even if you don't end up having any kind of sexual relations. She would be too immature for you and you would be to mature for her. I DON'T CARE how mature you think she is and how immature you are. That's just how it is. There are going to be things that she wont understand because shes 11. Two, she's too young to even be dating for real. I understand being 11 and just saying you have a boyfriend, but actually having one and understanding the complex, chaotic emotion that you feel for someone else called love is something that an 11 year old cannot fully grasp. Being 11 is too young to say "I love you" in an affectionate way to someone and fully understand it's concept. This is wrong. Too young for you. I don't want to cut you down and crush your hopes, but I'm telling you (AS WELL AS MANY OTHER MEMBERS) that this is not right. Sorry bro, finds someone your own age.

[judahtics]

if i were her brother, i'd kick your ass. plain and simple. you wouldn't stand a chance! there is no way i'd let a teenager near my 11 year old sister! hopefully her parents have some common sense and put an end this ridiculousness.

[JackShephard]

if i were her brother, i'd kick your ass. Plain and simple. You wouldn't stand a chance! There is no way i'd let a teenager near my 11 year old sister! Hopefully her parents have some common sense and put an end this ridiculousness.

amen!

[DerBear]

if i were her brother, i'd kick your ass. plain and simple. you wouldn't stand a chance! there is no way i'd let a teenager near my 11 year old sister! hopefully her parents have some common sense and put an end this ridiculousness.

amen!

+1

you are trying to make this right and its not going to be right its diffrent wait until shes 20 then its better

you keep saying your immature enough but that in itself makes you not right for a relationship

[Nathan13]

if i were her brother, i'd kick your ass. plain and simple. you wouldn't stand a chance! there is no way i'd let a teenager near my 11 year old sister! hopefully her parents have some common sense and put an end this ridiculousness.

Her 14 year old bro is one of my good friends.... and her oarents know me well

@Jack im going to wise up abit and say i dont even want a "girlfriend" i just want a GOOD friend who is a girl and ytounger becuase i act her age,she likes me as a friend and we Do gave stuff in common so i dont want to even kiss/jhug her and deffinetly not have sex with her so vasicly ive never had a best friend and i stayed in alot and now that ive moved i wanna hang out with younger people and she plays a game i like and an internet game i like so i wanna befriend her but if you say im too old to be her bf(in my opinion:closer than a bf less importent than i real bf) so is that ok(nothing sexual or even romantic at all untiul im like 16 and she is nearly 14?

[DoctorWho]

incest lol nah its cool maybe keep it to yourself

[Nathan13]

incest lol nah its cool maybe keep it to yourself

Im sorry Incest? What?

[JackShephard]

Her 14 year old bro is one of my good friends.... and her oarents know me well

@Jack im going to wise up abit and say i dont even want a "girlfriend" i just want a GOOD friend who is a girl and ytounger becuase i act her age,she likes me as a friend and we Do gave stuff in common so i dont want to even kiss/jhug her and deffinetly not have sex with her so vasicly ive never had a best friend and i stayed in alot and now that ive moved i wanna hang out with younger people and she plays a game i like and an internet game i like so i wanna befriend her but if you say im too old to be her bf(in my opinion:closer than a bf less importent than i real bf) so is that ok(nothing sexual or even romantic at all untiul im like 16 and she is nearly 14?

I don't quite understand that last bit but there's nothing wrong with being her friend. Something more than friends is not something you should be seeking with her. Now can you see where we are coming from?

[Nathan13]

I don't quite understand that last bit but there's nothing wrong with being her friend. Something more than friends is not something you should be seeking with her. Now can you see where we are coming from?

I see now becuase you are all saying it but maybe im just dumb and dont get it but i do believe you are right but what age is ok is 12 and 15 ok or 13-15 14-16 15-17 or what?

[DerBear]

I see now becuase you are all saying it but maybe im just dumb and dont get it but i do believe you are right but what age is ok is 12 and 15 ok or 13-15 14-16 15-17 or what?

well good you see NOW it only took 92 posts but hey you see now

[Nathan13]

well good you see NOW it only took 92 posts but hey you see now

Well your real nice arent you? anyway i was askinmg a question....

[JackShephard]

I see now becuase you are all saying it but maybe im just dumb and dont get it but i do believe you are right but what age is ok is 12 and 15 ok or 13-15 14-16 15-17 or what?

I'd even go as far to say that 15-17 is probably not a mature and healthy relationship. But not as inappropriate as your situation. If you absolutely have do date this girl, I would say that you should wait until she's like 14 and your 16. Yeah, 2 years I know. Even so, it's still a big gap for how old you guys are. It still would be weird then IMO.

[Nathan13]

I'd even go as far to say that 15-17 is probably not a mature and healthy relationship. But not as inappropriate as your situation. If you absolutely have do date this girl, I would say that you should wait until she's like 14 and your 16. Yeah, 2 years I know. Even so, it's still a big gap for how old you guys are. It still would be weird then IMO.

Well ill wait 2 years i dont need a gf onky to be with her so ill wait and i also have another NEW comments that you can comment on please

But theres a problem i cant stop thinking about her not like her face but just talking to her

[JackShephard]

Well ill wait 2 years i dont need a gf onky to be with her so ill wait and i also have another NEW comments that you can comment on please

But theres a problem i cant stop thinking about her not like her face but just talking to her

Personally, I don't think that people fully understand what goes into a relationship until they are around my age and most 17 year olds don't even know what it's like to have a baby or be married. Really, I think that a lot of 15 year olds and under don't have a very mature relationship. Time and time again, I've seen young teens loving the idea of love. Not fully loving, trusting and caring for their significant other. Not understanding it.

[Nathan13]

Personally, I don't think that people fully understand what goes into a relationship until they are around my age and most 17 year olds don't even know what it's like to have a baby or be married. Really, I think that a lot of 15 year olds and under don't have a very mature relationship. Time and time again, I've seen young teens loving the idea of love. Not fully loving, trusting and caring for their significant other. Not understanding it.

Its probebly becuase ive only had one close friend(gf) and i like the girl

Now im getting annoyed cuz i do like her :|

[DerBear]

Well your real nice arent you? anyway i was askinmg a question....

majority of these post have been in favour of saying your question and you state of mind was in the wrong and you have annoyed some users with this as you chosse to not accept this at all even after we stated in our arguments why its wrong

[DoctorWho]

Im sorry Incest? What?

Incest is when you have a sexual intercourse with a close relative I was kidding though

[JackShephard]

majority of these post have been in favour of saying your question and you state of mind was in the wrong and you have annoyed some users with this as you chosse to not accept this at all even after we stated in our arguments why its wrong

He's giving a little. It's just frustrating when someone asks a question and you answer and then it's a battle about why they are right and are trying their best to justify something that is wrong. Nate, I not trying to cut you down, but you have to see why everyone else is a little frustrated.

[Hopegirl]

Just wanted to say that if you really like this girl as much as you say, then wait a couple years..its not gunna kil you..plus in a couple years you might be clearer on your feelings ? Id say 11-14 is quite wrong..cuz as people say the physical and mental maturity are on two different ends of the spectrum...to be honest i disagree with saying that 15-17 isnt a mature and healthy relationship..seriously ? im with a 16 year old turn 17 in October im 15...and we've been together over 10 months..you cant just generalise all teenage relationships..as " they dont really love each other" i know a couple who met when she was 15 he was 18...ther still together now..ther in ther 50's...and about to become grandparents...You cant just claim we dont know what a real relationship is..some of us do :)

[JackShephard]

Just wanted to say that if you really like this girl as much as you say, then wait a couple years..its not gunna kil you..plus in a couple years you might be clearer on your feelings ? Id say 11-14 is quite wrong..cuz as people say the physical and mental maturity are on two different ends of the spectrum...to be honest i disagree with saying that 15-17 isnt a mature and healthy relationship..seriously ? im with a 16 year old turn 17 in October im 15...and we've been together over 10 months..you cant just generalise all teenage relationships..as " they dont really love each other" i know a couple who met when she was 15 he was 18...ther still together now..ther in ther 50's...and about to become grandparents...You cant just claim we dont know what a real relationship is..some of us do :)

Calm down silly. What I only meant is that it's really something that you never quite understand until later. I just mean that I have seen this kind of relationship a lot and it always seems like the younger is not on the same page as the older. A lot of people's situations might be different. I didn't mean to generalize all relationships like that.

[DerBear]

He's giving a little. It's just frustrating when someone asks a question and you answer and then it's a battle about why they are right and are trying their best to justify something that is wrong. Nate, I not trying to cut you down, but you have to see why everyone else is a little frustrated.

it does annoy me the fact that it took a shit load of posts to even give way ever so slightly

[Nathan13]

it does annoy me the fact that it took a shit load of posts to even give way ever so slightly

Im still confused......

[Nicky97]

I'm with Donkey on this. The way I see it, you need to enjoy being young. It's gone way too quickly. Maybe it's the word "dating" that bothers people so much. Not kissing (you really ought to get a peck on the cheek now and then), not touching, no chance of any "making out". That sounds like kids playing the little girl game of "boyfriends". My 8 yo neighbor does that, and we just ignore the grown-up terms that she and her friends use to describe their little game.

It does get people nervous because of what THEY want to do to a girl when "dating". Don't let them stop you from being yourself. You know right from wrong. There is nothing wrong with having friends younger. And if it were me, I'd stop asking myself "is this OK?" every step of the way. Don't constantly be comparing yourself to others.

And don't expect others to understand how YOU are. Just be who YOU are and enjoy it. And don't do things that cause people to get hurt.

I'm going to break my "99-post silent protest" (see blog) to say this again. I'm amazed at how many unpleasant, even hateful replies you got when I think you explained yourself pretty well.

THIS IS NOT DATING !!! At least not in my part of the world. Not the way you describe it. It's having friends, caring about someone, having an innocent crush. I'm not belittling it, just trying to use the right word, the one my friends would use. I hate that so many people are trying to answer the wrong question. They only know what "dating" means to them. If they would LISTEN to what you have described, I don't see how they can be telling you that you don't have a right to have friends and feel any way you want to feel.

Maybe your "is this OK?" was the wrong question to ask. You were really looking for solid reasons, not personal opinions. We are judged by what we do, remember that. And don't waste time worrying about other people telling you how to run your life. Look what a waste this was... they didn't even bother to listen and understand the main point here... that this is NOT DATING.

Do it, have fun, love people. And don't look to VT topics for approval.

[bigdaddy101]

The gap is not exactly too big but the maturity difference. I see a problem because it would be hard to have a relationship when you guys are in 2 different schools. Lastly it is kinda creepy to be OBSESSED with her. Maybe you should just stay in touch and have a REAL relationship when you guys are older(beginning 20s)

[Nathan13]

Thanks nICKEY and Brock- she is going to my school now