i need help

[BigJ0b]

ok, so now i'm going to stop lying to myself and everybody(on here anyway lol). I AM GAY. i have been living in denial for the past 3 years. i have lost friends because of it. friends whom i have been sorta attracted and i just shrugged them off to stop thinking about them sexually. i am not homophobic. i dont give a fuck about other people's sexuality i only care about mine :(. i want to have a NORMAL FAMILY LIFE. i dont want to wake up with a guy next to me i want a wife and children :'(! i hate myself sooo fucking much for this, i mean what did i do to deserve this? i really want to change. i know most if not all of you will tell me that i can't change and that i should live my life the way i truly am. well, i'm sorry to say this, but i'd rather live my life in denial!and i'm not planning on killing myself anytime soon for sex, but it just pisses me off!

[Koffing]

I know that you feel a bit weird but you need to understand that there is noting wrong with being gay ;)

And are you really sure that you are gay? Cuz then you want (I supose) to be with him the rest of your life.

[nameless12]

well to be gay is to want a guy both sexually and emotionally but you dont want a guy emotionally so why do you say your gay?

and dont be mad with yourself, i also wanted to change for some time but later i just enjoyed who i am :)

[NickkC10]

nothing's wrong with being gay! :)

[itsthat0n3kid]

there is always adopting :D
sorry just trying to lighten the mood.
good luck

[BigJ0b]

lol i knew i'd be getting answers like these but it felt nice sharing it with y'all -.- even if it was just a joke man, i would never adopt a child. i always wanted to know what it will be like to share a life with a woman, and rear(don't get this wrong lool) OUR children together, and i really don't want this to happen to my child no offense to any other homosexual on here :/. anyway, i guess there is nothing to do about this -.- im gay and i'll always be gay but i won't live my life like that. after all life isn't all about sex lol...

[Kujiro]

Firstly, being gay is not just about sex, being gay is just like any normal person out there, basically same plumbing, different wiring.
Of course everyone wants a normal lifestyle.
But i have mentioned this on a few threads, i feel that sexuality was never a choice.

I would not blame you, but yes everyone would want their children to be normal, living a normal sexuality state, but when it comes down to this.. in fact who are we to decide our children's sexuality, if we are not ready to accept who we and live it to the fullest.

I agree that everyone chooses their own paths in life, neither is anyone able to tell you what to do, the choice is always yours to make, the responsibilty of those decisions lies in none other than your own.

If you have made a choice, go for it, and make the best of it...
In life is not really about making the best decisions, but making the best of the decisions made.

Cheers.
P.S life is not about sex, but sex is what creates life.
:D

[grstl]

Please read my other posts. I know your agony, and yes, others here have critcized me for being gay but still having a girlfriend and son from my "straight" period and for still wanting/enjoying guy fun too. It gets so emotionally draining and complicated... All I knew to do was to be open with my girlfriend, choose with her to communicate well and raise our son the best way we can, and still be bold enough to enjoy my gay side without being in her face about it. Good luck. Your successes will help me. Keep us posted.

[Unlucky_Leprechaun]

You really don't sound gay emotionally, I mean like stating above, physically and emotionally.. just chill and see what happens... eventually you will figure it all out we are young enough to make decisions that can change later as the situation dictates.

[BigJ0b]

@Kujiro: your words are truly wise! lol and i will stick to my decision
@Grstl:dude you just gave me a shred of hope of a better future
thanks guys

[Lights]

P.S life is not about sex, but sex is what creates life.


Isn't that phrase a little inappropriate when talking about homosexuality?

And BigJ0b, I feel your pain. I'm not worried about you though because I know that you will in fact come to terms with being gay, if in fact you are. If you are gay, then there will be a few guys you'll meet in your lifetime who send your heart racing and make you feel so excited. That sort of feeling will make you come to terms with whom you are.

I had the very same anxieties for a long time, about wanting a normal family life with a wife and children; to an extent I still do. I think it's best not to look that far ahead of time, because you have no idea what's still to come! You could meet a guy who makes you happier than you've ever been, and who makes you feel entirely safe and comfortable. If you find that person, all things aside just won't matter. You just have to find alternative ways of achieving the kind of lifestyle you want.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHnxt5UcxJY&feature=channel_video_title - this video just gives a little insight into how as a gay individual, you can still have children and a partner of your own sex. All be it, this is parents from America, however I think the same possibilities are available for those in other countries. Western Europe tends to be very accepting, and I believe countries like Australia are too.

But please, just take things one step at a time and don't be worrying about 'having to live a lie'. You don't need to live a lie, and you'll be a far happier person not to. If you truly are gay, you're gonna come round to accepting yourself eventually, and like I say, it'll probably be when you start feeling emotionally connected to another guy. If your feelings are reciprocated, then the likelihood of you coming to terms with your sexuality shoots through the roof.

And with regards to your friends, don't turn your back on them even if you are having feelings for them a little. It's really not fair on them because if you haven't told them you have feelings for them, then it makes you look like a really selfish person trying to phase them out. Your friends are supposed to be there to help you, and there's very good odds your friends are gonna be totally accepting of you if you're just honest with them. Most teenagers, especially girls, are totally fine with it nowadays. Admittedly boys are usually more work to have them understand, but there are some really great ones out there.

I also really recommend you have a look at some of the videos posted on this channel because there are thousands posted from people of all ages, of all different orientations and of all different backgrounds: http://www.youtube.com/itgetsbetterproject
I watched some of the videos on there, and it really does put your mind at rest. I'd often felt very isolated from the others in my life because they weren't gay, but through watching some of the videos on that channel I felt so much better. As corny a phrase as it is: It does get better.
I'm gay myself, I'm not in a relationship, have never kissed another boy or ever been able to explore my sexuality, but I do realise that things are gonna get better. As time goes by, I'll meet new people, and hopefully someone really special. We've all just gotta have a lot of patience and optimism.

[allsoulsareblack]

truthfully i felt the same i was in denial for ages and it f.u.c.ked my head up it started of a 3 year streak of depression so i just fort screw this now i dyed my hair pink wear colourfull clothes and im of to my home citys gay pride in drag screw wat people think be ur self be so much happyer ps if ure old enuf get out in the gay nightlife x

[humanesquire]

How can we help if there isn't any problem?