People scare me.

[Donna Noble]

Hey everyone.

For a while now I've been really uncomfortable around people. For example if I'm on the bus going to or from school I feel way out of my comfort zone. I get paranoid and feel like everyone is staring at me and talking about me and laughing at me. I tend to try and use headphone and music to make it feel like no-one is there, so I make sure I can't see anyone or hear anyone. I'm also not okay with talking to people I'm not used to, or sometimes am used to. I feel extremely self conscious and pathetic when I say something that I find funny and they don't, or when I have a conversation that doesnt go well. I repeat the situation over and over again in my head a lot of the time and it torments me a bit. I'm not good at making friends because of my lack of confidence in talking to people and my constant fear for the worst when it comes to doing that.

So I guess I'm just asking if this sounds like social anxiety, and what you'd recommend for it. It sometimes gives me urges to hurt myself and stuff, and it can make me feel lonely and depressed. Any advice is appreciated.

Thanks,
Hollie.

[MrJC99]

I experienced anxiety and depression too and medication didn't help. Look into programs that use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that might help, it is worth a try, it helped me. In a nutshell CBT means if you change the way you think you can change the way you feel. You say you repeat the situation in your head over and over again and this makes you feel bad. if you replace a bad thought with a good thought you will eventually feel better.

[dreamer18xx]

yep its social anxiety and its hard i had it too and felt the same things except i did end up hurting myself and lost most of my friends b/c i just couldnt hang out with them but i go to therapy and it really helps talking to someone you should try it! :) its pretty awqward and weird at first but after the first couple it gets better it helps knowing that you can talk to someone about it and they cant judge you plus they encourage you to talk to people. it takes time but you just need to stick your foot in the water and let it get a little wet and if you dont like it you can always take it out. my therapist always asks whats the worst thing that could happen if i try and get out and talk to people? and its funny that its nothing reallyy bad so much as im afraid that people wont like me or that they already hate me. which is kinda a funny fear but i cant help it. im still working on getting better and im sure you can get better too you kinda have to figure out what makes you feel more calm but unfourtantly if you like coffee or chocolate or anything with caffiene in it you should lay off it since its known to make a person more anxious and i know this is gonna sound really annoying and i hated doing it at first but do breathing techniques even when your not feeling anxious you just try and make your mind blank take a deep breath through your nose hold it in your stomach for a while till you cant and then let it out slowly through your moulth also you can get anxiety books to learn more about how to deal with it if it helps but i hope you get better! :)

[aperson444]

I pretty much had your exact issue before I went into treatment for it. I think I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder that was associated with major depressive disorder. My fear of people came out of my self-hatred and lack of confidence. I pretty much hit a breaking point because I made a few friends and they turned on me and fucked me over. I got suspended and lost all my parents' trust and they didn't suffer at all. As a result I went into a suicidal rage and planned a massacre at my school, but I was sent into treatment at an emergency ward early enough to keep me from making any real preparation. I was promptly put on Prozac and pretty much locked inside my home all summer, which was really painful.

I think that maybe my treatment helped me, the Prozac (and later Zoloft) did make me calmer and less speedy. Psychotherapy helped me in the sense that I had someone to talk to, but in my case what really helped me is really controversial. I don't know if I should say it here. It's nothing really bad, let's just say that I made a lot of stoner friends and they really became my good friends and I've never felt betrayed or cheated since. Find some nice non-judgmental people. I think entering a new school was stressful at first but it really forced me to face my fears and make new friends with these people.

[LongShot157]

I also get like this, though im almost 20 now, but i started feeling that way when i was about 15 or 16, i know its hard sometimes but just try to think that they arnt talking to you, if this is difficult you can always talk to a doctor to get something to help or even talking to a therapist helps, thats what i did till i turned 17

[PandaBear]

I suffer from Aspergers syndrome, and this has been a daily struggle in my life for my entire life. I know exactly how you feel. You just have to realise that people aren't as bad as you think they are, and you need to work on your self confidence a bit and you'll feel better "around people". It's easier said than done, but the more you realise people aren't out to get you or aren't gonna judge you the way you think, the more comfortable you'll feel around people.