Feeling guilty, considering options

[SilenceForSilence]

NOTE: If the beliefs of Catholicism/Christianity offend you, I advise you to read no further. Also, I know there are people who have greater problems on this site, and the world, so I'll keep this brief.

I know I have written about this before, but I've been thinking a lot about religion lately. I am Roman Catholic, and believe that Jesus Christ chose to die on the cross to save all of humanity from their sins, and offer eternal life, and though we are never taught to feel guilty about this sacrifice, I have been feeling extreme guilt. This is not even for my wrongdoings so much, but the fact that I am alive. I am also very fortunate and have a loving and supportive family. I am living a very lucky life, and feel very undeserving. I really wish I could give it up to any one person on this site so they can have my circumstances. Surely, those who have suffered abuse of any kind, neglect, and any pain, deserve such a happy and safe environment more than I. I wish I didn't have responsibilities that prevent me from being able seriously self harm undetected, because I feel the need to feel the pain of one willing to die for me, which, if you believe the tale, was extreme to say the least. I'm considering suicide but that's rediculous because I could never hurt my family like that. I know I am loved, and it hurts. I feel undeserving of being saved, and loved, and happy. Cutting doesn't bother me, and I'm not really addicted. I don't think I ever was. It is a tool to me now, and I have mastered it, keeping it tame. I don't know if I will cut tonight. Does anyone else feel guilty in a similar way?

[DJZS]

Ok, I do understand why you feel that way, but that is not a healthy way to live. Contact me if youd like to talk and if you wouldlike some help.

[Iris]

I can't say I feel like that (I'm an atheist) but I'm here to give you some advice: find a way to make yourself deserve your life. Maybe if you go out there and do everything in your power to help all the living creatures in the world (or even just humanity), you'll feel like you have the right to live, and deserve to live. You said you'd want to give over your great life/family to someone who's been through a lot, who deserves it, but you can't. So do the next closest thing-help these people in other ways. Volunteering, taking up a job like psychology or medicine where you can save people's lives etc. Do something worthwhile that will leave an impact on the world for the good, because that makes life worthwhile. Didn't Jesus do that too? He devoted his life to others, right? Maybe if you do the same you'll feel deserving, and that Jesus's sacrifice was for a good cause (you).

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

I know what you mean.

im very anti-religon but i get a lot of these guilts...

[bambino]

find a way to make yourself deserve your life. Maybe if you go out there and do everything in your power to help all the living creatures in the world (or even just humanity), you'll feel like you have the right to live, and deserve to live. You said you'd want to give over your great life/family to someone who's been through a lot, who deserves it, but you can't. So do the next closest thing-help these people in other ways. Volunteering, taking up a job like psychology or medicine where you can save people's lives etc. Do something worthwhile that will leave an impact on the world for the good, because that makes life worthwhile. Didn't Jesus do that too? He devoted his life to others, right? Maybe if you do the same you'll feel deserving, and that Jesus's sacrifice was for a good cause (you).

I think this is a very good idea and in keeping with your beliefs.