Reactions

[xDarkAngelx]

I hide my self harming from everybody I know and I was just wondering how your friends or parents reacted when they found out. I'm asking because I suppose I'm worried or affraid as to how other people will react.

[CyanideGoodnight]

Well... I've gotten quite a wide range of reactions. Friend reactions included;
"Oh my I'm so sorry, you should get help" and the person went on for about 2 minutes straight...
"Is it because you can't feel unless you cut, that's what I heard." then, after I tried to explain that that wasn't the case she said "Well then your not a true cutter because true cutters only cut because they can't feel"
"But dosn't it hurt??!!!"
"Oh... Okay then..."
"I don't care if you cut or not because I can see your still a good person"
"You have no self control if you havn't stopped yet."
"Thank God, it's such a relief to meet another cutter"

Parents reaction was my aunt saying to tell her I need help if i cant stop. Then, everytime I had an itch she assumed that I was cutting until about four months later when I think she either gave up or figured therapy was working enough for her to stop worrying.

As to worrying about what other people think: I only told friends I knew wouldn't tell anyone, and I'm sorry if these reactions seem discouraging, but although the responses weren't all that... understanding (yes, I did try to explain, most of them refused to understand unfortunatly) it felt so great to get it off my chest. But, reactions depend on the person, so you may get entirely different responces, good luck

[love is louder]

i think it totally depends on the person your telling
only three people know about me and thats my therapist - who just talks to me like its a normal everyday thing
my best friend - who accepted it because i think shes kind of knew all of the time shes known me but just didnt bring it up (but shes about as damaged as i am so she kind of understood)
and my boyfriend who totally flipped out at the beginning but then totally understood and has been great about it so far
i think if you trust someone enough to tell them and your comfortable enough then i think they will understand

or if your not sure try dropping in a few tester questions or hint to see how they react?

[PartyPoison]

My parents dont know.
My exgirlfriend (still bestfriend) reacted by grabbingy wrist and staring at it and crying and asking whyand i told her I'll stop. And I didn't and they saw the cuts on my arm one day and pinned me down and pulled my sleeve up. They cried again.

My other bestfriend completely flips a shit everytime I cut and asked me why and how many etc, and tries to get me to stop. She even brought me to the school consular, who couldn't tell my parents because we never directly said I cut although he knows.
Weird I know, but he was very upset, to the point of tears because I do a suicide prevention program with him and talk to freshman about suicide.

I just lie to the other people that ask about the scars or cuts

[DJZS]

I think you need some help. You need to stop hurting yourself. Im here if you'd like help.

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

I know this sounds wierd but I didn't get the reaction I wanted. I couldn't keep it a secret for very long either, only a couple months till I told my parents.

I broke down one night and told them. My mum grab my wrist and said 'what've you done?!' I felt like I was being told off. They then said that they were glad that I told them and gave me a pill to help me sleep.

My friends acted differently. One cried, one held me, one stared blankly at me and nodded, several confronted me... But every one of them said I needed to get help.

I think its great that you want to talk, My advice is tell some one you can trust first, and expect a different reaction to what you hope. I dont know why but I expected my parents to care more and make a bigger deal of it, but thats not what I got.

[morbidmonkey]

When my mom found out (she thinks I stopped) she was like "What makes you do this? You know this is what crazy people do right?" ...something along those lines

My friend (I didn't tell her, but she noticed so I brought it up) she was like "You're a poser"

My other friend was like "Emo's are pathetic losers who only feel sorry for themselves, I don't know why you do that. (I explained some of it, then she was like) Well that's still no excuse"

I just stopped telling people cuz they just give me bad responses and they really didn't understand. I'm sure other people noticed but they just didn't say anything.

[Love.Hate]

Mum cried for hours, she didnt realise i was so unhappy. She came in and talked to me for hours and hours.

Dad went nuts, telling me i was stupid and an "immature pathetic little girl".

My friends, some were shocked cause they always saw me as this happy person. Others thought i was doing it for attention and that it would be easy to stop. So when i carried on in secret and one day they saw apparently they found it fun to tell a load of people in my year. And my life was made hell by stupid rumours.

Them finding out still hasnt changed the fact i do it, i just do it either in more secretive places or i just deny doing it again. Mum seems to think they are like "episodes" and i only do it like once a month or something rediculous.

[FullyAlive]

For me quite a few people know, my mother, my best friends, my ex, and other randomers however i only told my ex myself, the others either saw or were informed.

My mums first reaction was to cry, and be all "I still love you" sounds nice but that made me think that because i self harm it means i'm harder to love, not a nice thought. Her second reaction was one of anger she thought i just stopped last time however once she calmed down she got me the help i needed.

My best friends found out themselves i'm not really sure when, the two of them reacted really well, they were understandably upset, but they tried their hardest they researched on the internet, and have both been a major presence in my life nad i really wouldn't be ok without them, they're there whenever i need them, yet i can go for weeks and not mention any of it and they'll behave as normal.

The randomers in my year who have guessed purely based on i wear long sleeves and have scars covering my thighs visible through opaque tights that i wear to school, some of them were nice, telling me they were here if i needed anyone else to talk to, others not so well asking tactless questions like "does it hurt?" "I don't understand why do you want to hurt yourself?"

I'm pretty sure some of my close friends must know too, after all now i haven't cut my legs for so long i'll wear short skirts especially now its summer and as i have scars covering my leg they must have guessed, but none of them approached me so...

However overall i'd say its a lot easier now they know, the covering up, the low moods whilst it can get annoying having people there helps, i would recommend telling someone. Or if you can't tell them just show them.

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

My mother,at first didnt say anything,she just took me to the doctor for an appointment,and later on she told me she noticed blood on my jeans. Then bc she expected that id just,stop,and didnt she asked why i did it,and took away all my "tools". I never stopped,but she thinks I have. As for my friends. Some where shocked,others said the suspected anyway and left it at that. Only one of my friends got upset and was spitting threats at me to stop or shed rat me out,but it was just outta worry,and after I explained myself,we dropped it. If u tell ur friends,make sure u know u can trust them. As for family,u usually get an emotional response,like crying and asking questions or sadly,sometimes,they just dont get it and are ignorant towards everything. Id just make sure ur 100% ur ready to tell someone/people. Because once u do,theres no taking it back.

[purplehaze]

Well, I told my roommate one night while inotxicated, her response was to demand an intervention the next day with my at the time boyfriend, then they drug me to counseling.
So when i told the counselor they act like its no big deal so thats cool, but I dont have that counselor anymore sadly....
Um I told my other best friend just this weekend while intoxicated...I didnt mean too I was trying to tell my roomate that my godsister had seen my arm and then friend of course overheard and he just grabbed my arm and started sobbing and holding me so tight saying "why?? this is sooo sad"
oh and when my godsister saw my arm she was just like "it has never been this bad, you need to go to church" and that response pissed me the hell off.. so i told her off..told her how bad it was and then she had nothing to say about going to church besides that she was sorry and didnt know anything about my life. Which pissed me off more..
But yea those were my reactions that I have gotten.

[adudewhodoesdudes]

My reaction upon finding out that a friend had cut was "but doesn't it hurt" This was before i started. I understood her though after she explained why, when she found out that I did it she understood. I have never told anyone else or had anyone talk to me. I made sure that they were always covered until they weren't that noticeable.

[Njathind]

Well thanks to a dick of an older brother, he decided to spread a shed load of rummors around about me when I was taken into hospital (bad times :() and so when I finally got discharged I just thought. Stuff this, and just didnt really care who saw what.

[SilentlyCrying]

When my mom found out all she did was cry, and cry, and cry, and screech. My dad on the other hand just looked at me and said "We'll get through this together." I appreciated his reaction a little better. When my counselor found out (I had saw her before I cut anyways) she just nodded and insisted she "had known from the very beginning". But at the same time she mentioned that she would always be there for me. As for some other reactions...
"Oh. There are meds for that." -6th Grade Teacher
"I guess you just do what you think you have to do." -7th Grade Teacher
"Never underestimate a genius' stupidity." -Classmate
"Emo loser." -Classmate
"You just do it for attention." -Classmate
"Did I really make you do that?" -Classmate
"It's sad that you have to be a freak for any of us to notice you." -Classmate
"You aren't going to cut yourself with anything in front of me, are you?" -Classmate
"Excuse me Mr.___, but Bree has some sharp objects you need to take from her." -Classmate

[rissa-_-]

if and when my friends and my mom finds out about my cuts and stuff, they usually slap me hard enough and tell me not to do it again.

[Iris]

I told my psychologist, who just sighed, looking all sad, and said we'll figure out ways to deal with stress and whatever. I honestly wish I hadn't told her. She hasn't helped the cutting at all.

I told my best friend, who cut for about a year before me. She tried to get me to stop, saying it'll get addictive, it's not good for you etc. but I couldn't/didn't really want too.

I'd never ever tell any family members or any other of my friends; I know they'd respond badly, which would only make the situation worse.

[xDarkAngelx]

Thanks for all your comments. Bree sorry to read how other people reacted to you such as - "Excuse me Mr.___, but Bree has some sharp objects you need to take from her." -Classmate. Must have been an very difficult time.