Hello, help please!

[Chris1995]

While since I've posted so I've put everything I've felt on this text.

For the past two months I have been incredibly confused over my sexuality! Before these 2 months, I had always liked girls and even had a of girlfriend (not serious btw). I don;t know why these thoughts have passed over me, they are making me feel really guilty and the thought of being gay does not appeal to me, I have always classed myself as straight.

I am extremely worried because these thoughts of whether I'm straight or not are just constantly in my mind, and I hate it, it makes me feel so angry and really worried! It's not like I'm homophobic, I just do not want to be gay, or even bisexual:/

I used to watch gay porn but I don't anymore because afterwards I would feel ashamed, I know only watch lesbian porn (weird or not?). I also used to masturbate to a guy I knew for like a week, 6 months ago but again I used to feel guilty afterwards so I stopped.

I can think about girls and get erections, but I daren't think about guys for if I get one I will get depressed even more. This guilt is eating me up and I am becoming depressed it is the only thing on my mind!!!

Just wondered, I also keep questioning my attraction to girls now (whether I will be in a relationship with a girl when I'm older etc), I think I will be it's just these thoughts are making my mind explode with how much anxiousness they are producing with the thought of me not being striaght. I do want to be straight and I hope I am, can anyone help me, is this hormones and normal for a late blooming teen? or not?

Sorry for long post, it's just I had to put all this so you would realise what I am going through.
Chris1995

[Austin1]

Omg I am doing the exact same thing but I think you are taking it to hard. I watch gay porn too and hav the same feelings and want to be straight. Do what I do. Accept that you are curious but still be attracted to girls. You can still watch gay porn but also watch lesbians to. Just don't take it too hard. The most likly out come is that you will be straight

[Callum.95]

I dont think Im curious because I wouldnt want to try anything with a guy. I dont get it

[Austin1]

Curios dosnt naccisarly mean that u want to do things with a guy. It can also mean wondering what it would be like to be gay. I think that's how you say it

[Angel Androgynous]

You are becoming paranoid. ^_^ There are guys who watch gay porn and who are completely straight! It's your hormones confusing you. Don't worry, and stop questioning yourself. Instead, explore your likes and dislikes, live and be a teen! Let your hormones have their turn for a little bit, and when you are done with puberty, they will mellow out. Just don't worry! Live life, be happy, be young.

[Chris1995]

ok, so it's just hormones? wow I'm really weird

[Angel Androgynous]

ok, so it's just hormones? wow I'm really weird

No you're not, it happens to a lot of people. (:

[Kujiro]

Instead of questioning that issue as it is. Why not give yourself more time to understand yourself?

Don't let stereotypical thinking get in the way. I feel the most important thing is be open and true to yourself.
I'm not implicating a twist in your sexuality, but what I'm referring to is do not fall into self denial if its not going in the direction you want.

Give yourself a chance to explore and understand your own genome. Open up your heart and minds to every possibility.
Sometimes the answers to the difficult questions can be answered if you venture into the uncharted waters.

But as far as advise can be shared, the final choice is up to you.
Do not make a decision too quickly , take your own time at it.

All za best :)

[Sebastian Michaelis]

Well, I'd say you're bisexual with a preference for girls, but since you are only physically attracted to guys I'll instead say that you are straight, but curious. This will most likely grow to include emotional attraction as well or dwindle away to nothing. I'm going to say that there is a strong chance that when puberty ends for you and your hormones settle that you'll either end up straight or bisexual. I think there is a very slim chance that you will ever end up gay. And if you end up not being straight then there is nothing to be ashamed of. People should still like you even if you aren't straight. It would be a way to find out who your true friends are. You should never hate or lie to yourself. Just accept yourself because the only person you have to make proud is you.

[Chris1995]

I don't want to be bisexual though:/ sory I just don't want men in my love life when I'm older

[Tango]

I don't want to be bisexual though:/ sory I just don't want men in my love life when I'm older

Stop worrying about it. It will make things so much better. It sounds like it's just your hormones.

[Chris1995]

ok thankyou

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Everyone gets curious and sometimes experiments,its totally normal. Why do u feel guilty? Ur trying something to see if u like it,and if it isnt hurting anyone,wheres the shame? It sounds like ur uncomfortable with urself. Love is love,regardless of gender. Ur probably just straight-curious,and theres nothing wrong with that. Dont stress it to much.

[RCT109]

dude every one goes through it at one time or an other trust me

[Chris1995]

so its perfectly normal? I hate the thoughts

[RCT109]

we all have , have had, them

[Chillswil]

just hormones talking dont worry about it ur just curious

[Chris1995]

ok thanks, so it wont turn into anything more?

[Chris1995]

I had a dream last night I was gay and it was awful (no offence) and woke up completely back to square one - paranoid and anxious

[Chris1995]

Can anyone re-help me?:) still worrying like hell

[TtotheC]

read my reply on "weirdthinkingteen" 's post, that's all i could tell ya.

[Chris1995]

Thanks, its really hard

[Jessicar]

It happens to the best of us. We all take our time, once in our life, to.. experiment I guess, as not all of us are quite aware of what we like, and what we want. It is nothing to feel depressed about, you are just seeing whether or not it is the right thing for you. If you think about it, one day you could be glad you did what you did, because you will then know exactly what you want. Being gay isnt bad, personally, I respect all gay people, because they are brave, and I admire that so much. Not a lot of people would actually admit to it, due to embarrasement, but quite frankly, it is perfectly normal. I have many friends that are not gay, nor bisexual, and yet, they have had the same problem. Although, they thought they were because they thought other men were attractive.
I do hope this helps. :)

[Chris1995]

Yes thanks, so it could potentially just be a stupid phase? I hate my mind haha :(

[Jessicar]

Most likely yes, and even if it isnt so what? :)
Hehee... don't hate your mind.. your only human ;)

[Chris1995]

Well I 100% dont want to be gay or even bi haha sorry I just couldnt face it and I hate it lots haha

[Jessicar]

Typical :P
A lot of people would feel that way. Hey, I would hate to be a lesbian. But I really do understand how you feel lol.

[Chris1995]

Haha I would just love my mindset to be 3 months ago then id be ok haha

[Jessicar]

Heheee..
I hope everything turns out ok anyway :)

[Chris1995]

Thanks just wish I didnt come home that day and went to my mates or summat the thoughts would never have happened

[Jessicar]

Hahaa.. very true :P

[Chris1995]

I wouldnt wish these thoughts on anyone

[Jessicar]

Come on. It sounds as if you are certain enough that you are not gay. And if you think about it, this could help you in some ways, so that when you do need to confront your sexuality, you will already know and understand that you are not gay.
If any of that actually made sence. ;P

[Chris1995]

I just dont get where these thoughts have come from though?! Must be some explanation for them

[Jessicar]

I had them once.. Not fully, I just had random/weird thoughts. Never again though. But, it is probably just your mind just either playing tricks on you, or the fact that you are just generally confused? :/

[Chris1995]

Idk a wish a guy whos been through this could tell me about it and stuff

[Jessicar]

Yeah, that would help a lot more than me lol

[Chris1995]

Haha please anyone else help me?

[Chris1995]

Everyone i looked up HOCD on the internet and it sounds a bit like what I have, but I don't want to be some ill child that can never have a proper life

[TtotheC]

Everyone i looked up HOCD on the internet and it sounds a bit like what I have, but I don't want to be some ill child that can never have a proper life

HOCD is a mental disorder, however it doesn't make you "some ill child" and dont offend anyone who has this please ;). If you've got it, then it's a bitch! But don't say you've got it untill it's proven. If it's really bothering you so much, i'd get a psychologist, or talk to a therapist about this, see if he agrees on the OCD.

Obsessive compulsive disorder is a demon that only exists because YOU feed it! Do yourself a favor, and stay off of this website for a bit, it's the best you can do. You're looking for reassurance that you're not gay, nobody here can assure you, we can only advice you, and my advice to you is that you look for distraction :). Go do stuff you enjoy, read a book, play a game, take relaxing walks, take it easy! The sooner you stop paying so much attention to the problem, and instead try to live knowing it's there but focus on different things in life, more important things, the better. ;)

Hope you could do this on your own!!! Once again if this problem keeps up, and dominates your life months long every day, i'd go seek a psychologist and take CBT or ERP therapy.

Good luck my friend. and remember, relax, dont feed your worries!

[Chris1995]

how do I know if its proven? btw a guy on an HOCD forum on www.pyschforums.com said it's all natural, but hasn't replied whether it could be HOCD