A 'lonely cocktail' for one

[NobodysCupOf Tea]

So I've been seeing a councillor for the past few months (related to self harming) and uncovered two of my many issues...

Self confidence and trust

I lack both these qualities, creating the perfect cocktail of loneliness.

First off I hate myself, simple as. I hate the way I look and so have zero ego or self confidence, making it difficult to meet and befriend new people (guys really).*
Secondly my trust issues, I just don't trust anyone , and when I rarely do it just goes to shit. If someone compliments me I just laugh it off and contradict them. I get paranoid about my friends talking avoid me and so will lock myself away. If a guy wants me I know it's just for sex, not for me, I don't believe anything they say.

So all in all my fate is to die fat and alone, not trusting anyone including the vast amount of cats I have gathered, after obviously turning into a 'crazy cat lady'.

Sorry, I know it's a bit of an odd rant but just want peoples thoughts or advice..

[Ambrosia]

Well first off I'd like to point out how gorgeous you are, and no matter how much you might deny it you have to realize that I am ALWAYS right, and this is no different. You are, and you just have to gradually keep reminding yourself of that. You're young and at a young age those feelings are very common. I personally suffer from these problems, I know first hand how it feels to have to try and fight threw the issues of self hatred and feeling as if you just can't trust anyone around. Getting over the feelings is no easy matter but it is possible and you just can't give up on that.

Since you say you're seeing a counselor I'm hoping maybe you will continue to. They can be very helpful in the long run. If you continue visiting them, and allow them inside of your mind and keep telling yourself that you want to OVERCOME this then you surely will. You have to tell yourself that you do not and will not die lonely, and if you do it's by choice and after a long life of happiness and different 'lovers' whom you trusted just couldn't bring yourself to stay with.

You're a great person, and I know you will refuse to believe it, but try and make yourself listen when people complement you. It's so hard to do, I know, but eventually someone will get threw to you. And you'll figure it out! Trusting someone takes time and it takes effort on both your part and theirs. You don't have to trust everyone, of course, but some day someones going to come into your life and you're going to WANT to trust them and the both of you will work towards strengthening that trust.

(: