I Don't Know What To Do

[Underground_Network]

I seriously think I'm losing my mind. I used to get really angry really easily and I have hurt people. I stabbed a kid with a knife, but it was only a skin cut once. I never get in trouble anymore, and I thought my anger issues were in the past, I thought I'd fixed everything. Nowadays its harder to piss me off, but when people do, I go to the extent of wanting to kill them. It also really sucks, cause I get migraines, and whenever I get one of those, I practically want to kill anyone who's near me. I want to die so bad, and I keep breaking down and crying over nothing. My friends know me as tough, intelligent, and mentally strong. I don't know what my friends and family could do without me. I also have dreams of murder, and I even wrote a story about "the perfect murder",l depicting me as the killer, and some people I really hate as the victims. I'm afraid if I don't get my emotions under control I'll hurt someone. I know that if i kill myself, I won't end up killing other people, but that might not be true. I wouldn't be surprised if my really close friend, or even my mom, who i'm really emotionally attached to, would harm themselves if i commit suicide. Nobody, except for my parents know that i've had thoughts of, and even attempted suicide. I don't like to hurt people, but sometimes I feel I just have to. I need help before I breakdown, and hurt someone. I wanna fix this problem before it occurs. HELP PLEASE!

[Lt.Col.Environment]

Have you considered joining in the proud and long standing tradition of the poetry slam?

Take it from someone who's had to rise above the temptation of murdering people on more than one occasion.

Just corner your target on a nearby stage and pull out some of your favorite rhymes. Even if you don't win, a great time will certainly be had by all. And if you're having stage fright, just imagine the audience is in their underwear.

(If you do decide to kill the person anyways, I find that imagining them in their underwear makes that part easier as well.)

And failing that, have you considered joining the united states armed forces?

You get to murder brown people that talk gibberish like starfox did on the SNES.

[thesphinx]

Lt.col.enviroment this is kind of a serious matter and your not really taking this serious that sounded kind of like a joke.
anyway though i think therapy would be good.
it can help you find out why you feel so angry and how you can deal with it without using violence.
have you tried things when you feel like this like running excersize some people do stuff physical like boxing, and stuff
but just a thought.
hope you feel better :)

[Lt.Col.Environment]

But it's NOT a serious matter.

Murder predates agriculture by almost 100,000 years, it's a natural part of the human experience.

Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is a liar or a fool.

[Bobby]

Lt.col.enviroment this is kind of a serious matter and your not really taking this serious that sounded kind of like a joke.
anyway though i think therapy would be good.
it can help you find out why you feel so angry and how you can deal with it without using violence.
have you tried things when you feel like this like running excersize some people do stuff physical like boxing, and stuff
but just a thought.
hope you feel better :)

But it's NOT a serious matter.

Murder predates agriculture by almost 100,000 years, it's a natural part of the human experience.

Anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is a liar or a fool.

Okay, those two quotes were inapropriate. Why don't we stick to helping people, instead of calling people out...

[Underground_Network]

I've gone to a psychiatrist before, but it didn't help, in public/with friends, i'm fun-loving and kind, but when i get pissed, or when i'm at home away from everyone else, I fall apart. I do exercise, i'm actually really thin, and I play almost every sport known to man. I express my hate through stories, songs, and poems, and it sort of helps, but still it doesn't completely help. Nobody at my school really hates me, and I don't get bullied very often, but there are some assholes at my school who like to piss of random people, and although I think they deserve it, if they ever go to far, I'm afraid I might end up killing them. I also get frustrated/pissed sometimes, because I seem invisible, no one pays attention to me. I think my self-esteem has suffered, and lately my grades have gone from straight-As to Bs and Cs, and I'm worried this could be a sign that I'm falling apart. I feel so stressed, and I've done everything, I don't know what to do. (BTW i'm really pressured to do well in sports and in school by my dad, and when I don't do well, we get into verbal arguments, which rarely turn physical, but ruin my self-esteem.) I hate that my dad shows apathy, toward making me feel like shit. My dad is very similar to me, at times he's fun-loving and kind, and at others he's like a psychomaniac. I just hope that I get this under control. I really wanna have a good, successful future.