Worrying about deaths (of family and pets)

[Syvelocin]

Recently I've gotten random bursts of anxiety over the deaths of people I love. Not the other way around, oddly. I don't fear death for myself, but the idea of others dying really freaks me out. Enough that I've just cried over the idea by itself. Fear that my mum will die, my dad will die, and the worst of it recently has been (don't laugh) that my cat will die.

I'm not a fan of children as I've expressed before. So my plan has always been to have cats in place of children. I know it sounds a bit weird. But my cat is my son. I treat him like a son. Well. I treat him like a cat. But I feel for him like I would a child. And that's the best way our relationship can be described.

I love pets. I love the companionship. But I'm starting to wonder if it's worth it. The anxiety, the dread. Because the plus about motherhood is that it's likely that your child will outlive you. So it's not as much pain involved. But when you have pets as kids, It's very possible you'll outlive them. And that's what's scaring me. Because when Mizzy dies, I don't know what I'll do. I'm scared. I've dealt with animal deaths before, but this is so different. I'm worrying that I won't be able to recuperate after that. I would be thrown into a horrible depression, but I don't see how I could get out of it.

What's even more irrational is that Mizzy is turning three years old. Healthy and fit. House cat as well. There's no reason for these worries to happen. I'm worrying more about him than the dog my parents have who is turning ten years old, with all sorts of medical conditions. Had surgery even one time because he has Hepatitis. I worry a little for him, but strangely the dread isn't there like it is for Mizzy.

Rant as always.

[SosbanFach]

I thought I was the only one... I imagine my parents' death, and it makes me upset. Sometimes I even cry about it. But they're both relatively healthy. It makes me feel guilty, and I try to stop thinking on it, but it happens a lot. I suppose we just realise that it's more or less inevitable that we will outlive our parents/pets, so we wonder what we'll do when they go, and it upsets us. Idk if that makes sense, but all I know is, you're not the only one.

[Love.Hate]

Well you cant spend all your time worrying, because yes in the future the inevitable is going to happen. But if Mizzy is only 3 your burst of anxiety are irrational, cause he isnt going to die yet. He isnt.

Of course having pets is worth it, think about all the happiness they have brought to you. Is that not worth it?

My friend is just the same, she has night terrors over the thought of her cats dying. She deals with the constant anxiety through her diary. Writes everything she is scared of, why she is scared of it and the chances of it happening. I dont know if it would work for you, but you could try it?

You have to enjoy pets when they are here, because yes it wont be forever. But nothing lasts forever.

:hug:

[SosbanFach]

she isnt going to die. She isnt.

This is the problem. She is. She will die within maybe ten years. It's just knowing that the day will inevitably come, and you'll have to suffer it. I don't personally worry about my cat dying, but I do worry about my parents, and it's just the fact that you know the day is coming, within your lifetime. It's also knowing that it could happen any day, unexpectedly. A car accident is what I worry about most, for some reason. It's completely irrational, yes, and when I don't feel like that it seems stupid, and it's difficult to explain how I felt, but while I feel like that it's quite upsetting, and frightening. I imagine the deaths of those close to me, I imagine being told about it. As I said, it's difficult to explain, but feels quite real and frightening while I'm thinking like that.

[Tango]

Mizzy is a boy.

But I feel the same way. My dog means so much to me, she is also only 3 and super well bred so she (hopefully) has a long time left, but it's just scary to think what you will do after they are gone when they mean so much right now.

Just take it one day at a time, don't worry about something that isn't going to be a problem right now. You will stress yourself out for the rest of Mizzy's life instead of being able to enjoy it.

[Tommy-]

I feel the exact same way about my parents and my dog, sometimes at night when I can't sleep I think about it and I shed a few tears. I can't really control my thoughts and it really annoys me

[SosbanFach]

I feel the exact same way about my parents and my dog, sometimes at night when I can't sleep I think about it and I shed a few tears. I can't really control my thoughts and it really annoys me

This, exactly what I meant.

[Syvelocin]

Thanks all. I appreciate all your words. :)

I brought it up with my psychologist and she had me talking about something that made me feel better about it, and at least recently it's given me a bit of relief. She first spoke about her own cat, who she had a strong bond with. She was getting old, and one day she found her outside standing on the lawn. They exchanged a long look, a mutual understanding, that it was her time, and the cat then walked down the street and away from the house, never came back. She said that when they are close to dying, they know this, and if given the chance they'll look for a final resting place, and that's what she thinks that was about. That spoke to me. It lessened the sadness somehow.

As well, she went on with her same lecture about everyone having a purpose on earth, and said that she thinks animals have purposes on earth as well, and asked me what I thought Mizzy's purpose was. I think it is quite obvious. Mizzy was a gift from my parents when I was at a particularly dark time, they thought it would be good for me to get a cat. Mizzy was the one at the pound who just let me hold him. I said that his purpose was probably to be with me, to give me a better quality of life. Animals are so intuitive like that, you know? When you're upset, they never fail to recognize it. Mizzy is very much like that. He has a very obvious connection to me, he's adopted me as his mummy in many ways. And he never fails to make me smile even when I'm the most upset.

So yeah. I don't know how long this will last, but all that eased my nerves a great deal.

[Amaryllis]

I'm glad to know you feel better now. Honestly, I still suffer from fear of other people's death. I've never had a pet in my entire life. I really want to but I'm so scared of seeing them die.

But nothing is forever. Just as innocence isn't. Things change. People come and go. So do animals. But they, we, all leave something behind. With the lives we've touched. So... To hell with it, I'm getting a puppy or kitty :)

Love,
Faith And Trust

[TrAnSMaN09]

I know the way you feel hun, I feel the same way about my pup, She's my everything, I think that you SHOULD write about it, Write about everything that you think of, And why,

It helps me, I hope it helps you hun

[LKIFMRUG9556]

Remember when people die they'll never feel pain again.

Life is nothing really. The real journey doesn't begin until we die. No matter who dies anyway, you will be reunited with them one day. Trust me! It's not a question of believing in God or Christian...there is an afterlife.

[Syvelocin]

Remember when people die they'll never feel pain again.

Life is nothing really. The real journey doesn't begin until we die. No matter who dies anyway, you will be reunited with them one day. Trust me! It's not a question of believing in God or Christian...there is an afterlife.

Ehh, sorry, but in MY head, death is the end.

[dead]

Sounds like me, I do this all the time. Death unfortuneately is the end. I just try to make my birds life as good as possible, which actually ends up in me being with him 99% of the time. theres nothing you can really do