CantLiveWithoutYou
July 10th, 2011, 06:15 PM
Obviously anxiety isn't going to help me say "Hey mom I have anxiety can I go to a shrink?". Which, I know, is kind of a catch 22, but I've had a hell of a lot going on in my life the last 7 months and I haven't been normal since my only friend(and I'm bisexual, I loved as more than a friend, too) moved. I didn't have too much anxiety until I saw that dreaded "I found out I'm moving next month"... We've lost almost all contact, and that new scene changed him so he doesn't seem to want to talk that much.
All of this brings me to another point, the psychologist would need to know why I have anxiety to help it, and I'm not up to telling him my best friend moved, because this isn't a normal reaction to someone that is just a friend. He would probably catch on to the fact that I'm either gay or bisexual, of course the former being much more thought of. And I know all that confidentiality shit, and that he's not going to judge and I'm sure he's seen it in many other boys my age. But I just CAN NOT lead on to anyone I know personally that I'm bisexual or any form of that.
At least half of my anxiety is due to me having no friends anymore where I live. The other half is parted out as a generalized anxiety disorder for which I do not know the source.
The only way I can see myself getting help is someone else telling my mom I have anxiety, and her just bringing me to a psychologist. Though once I get there I would have to lie and say I have no idea what is causing my anxiety, which isn't likely to get me anywhere quickly. To be honest, I've tried all of that CBT stuff and deep breathing and whatnot, and none of it works. The only thing I think I would actually benefit from at this point would be some form of a medicine. Be it a benzodiazepine, beta blocker, SSRI anti-depressant, or something else, these are the only things that I believe would work. I would really prefer to skip all the CBT crap which he will have me on for a year before even trying another non-medicinal treatment. However, saying "Doctor Numbnuts, I have tried all of those methods personally, and on my own time, for weeks at a time and none of them have helped, give me drugs."
I don't know.. Life has this habit of making itself so complicated that I want to kill myself.
All of this brings me to another point, the psychologist would need to know why I have anxiety to help it, and I'm not up to telling him my best friend moved, because this isn't a normal reaction to someone that is just a friend. He would probably catch on to the fact that I'm either gay or bisexual, of course the former being much more thought of. And I know all that confidentiality shit, and that he's not going to judge and I'm sure he's seen it in many other boys my age. But I just CAN NOT lead on to anyone I know personally that I'm bisexual or any form of that.
At least half of my anxiety is due to me having no friends anymore where I live. The other half is parted out as a generalized anxiety disorder for which I do not know the source.
The only way I can see myself getting help is someone else telling my mom I have anxiety, and her just bringing me to a psychologist. Though once I get there I would have to lie and say I have no idea what is causing my anxiety, which isn't likely to get me anywhere quickly. To be honest, I've tried all of that CBT stuff and deep breathing and whatnot, and none of it works. The only thing I think I would actually benefit from at this point would be some form of a medicine. Be it a benzodiazepine, beta blocker, SSRI anti-depressant, or something else, these are the only things that I believe would work. I would really prefer to skip all the CBT crap which he will have me on for a year before even trying another non-medicinal treatment. However, saying "Doctor Numbnuts, I have tried all of those methods personally, and on my own time, for weeks at a time and none of them have helped, give me drugs."
I don't know.. Life has this habit of making itself so complicated that I want to kill myself.