My Dad came back into my life today

[DayandNight]

Today my bastard fucking Dad came back into mine and my little brother's life. He's been gone for nearly 3 years, and he just showed up today. I fucking hate him. He used to beat me and my little bro Austin constantly. Like he would hit us across the face with the metal end of the belt and with his belt buckle. It fucking hurt so god damn bad. My mom had his ass arrested for child abuse so many times, and she took me and my brother and we moved. My mom divorced him. But he shows up now today out of the blue 3 years later, wanting a fucking "relationship" all of a sudden. He hasn't even fucking said why he showed back up again, I asked him what the Hell he was doing here, and he said "to see my boys and see if your Mom will take me back". She will never take him back, and I don't want that fucker in my life ever again.

I don't know what the Hell I'm supposed to do, I told my Mom, and she's pissed that I even spoke to him. I hate him so much too. He messed me and my little brother up so bad. We got beat every day nearly. It's so fucking unfair, I wish he was in jail for good. I wanted to knock his ass out so bad. He is the reason why I work out so much and lift weights all the time, because I'm never going to take that kind of abuse again. I can't handle him in my life again. I swear to God I might fucking do something bad if my so-called father comes near me again. I can't stand the sight of him. I though I was rid of him for good. I don't even wanna tell my little brother because he is petrified of our dad, even now, and even though he's 15. I don't know what to do. I swear to God I don't wanna fucking deal with him. I don't understand why he had to come back into our lives and ruin everything again. I'm so fucking angry and full of rage right now. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared I'm going to turn out like my father one day, and I don't want to. I have a bad anger problem too, and I can't control it sometimes. I just don't know what to do now he's back around. :(

[The Dill]

oh my. I'm sorry all that happened to you! No one should be hit by their parent, especially with the metal part of a belt. I hope you'll be alright :(

[DayandNight]

oh my. I'm sorry all that happened to you! No one should be hit by their parent, especially with the metal part of a belt. I hope you'll be alright :(

Thanks bro :(

[The Dill]

I know you probably don't wannna talk to a 15 year old about your problems, but if you do I'm always free to chat.

[DayandNight]

I know you probably don't wannna talk to a 15 year old about your problems, but if you do I'm always free to chat.

Thanks man I'll def keep that in mind, but now I'm just gonna get undressed and go to sleep, or try too.

[disassociation2016]

Don't stand for any sort of abuse. Best thing for you to do is call the police and let them know he doesn't need to come around anymore. If he does they'll take care of it. No need to get yourself into trouble for handing this yourself. Hope it goes well.

[DayandNight]

Don't stand for any sort of abuse. Best thing for you to do is call the police and let them know he doesn't need to come around anymore. If he does they'll take care of it. No need to get yourself into trouble for handing this yourself. Hope it goes well.

Yeah I probably will tell the cops. I just am not gonna put up with that bastard hitting me or my little brother or my mom ever again. I'm so fucking scarred for life because of how much he hit me.

[Derek951]

Man, I don't envy your situation. It's good your mom is on your side. I hear about too many moms that let shitty men back in their life and the kids pay for it.

I know you wanna pound him bad, but don't do it. You got the right idea, call the cops. Is he back in town permanently, or just blowing thru?

[DayandNight]

Man, I don't envy your situation. It's good your mom is on your side. I hear about too many moms that let shitty men back in their life and the kids pay for it.

I know you wanna pound him bad, but don't do it. You got the right idea, call the cops. Is he back in town permanently, or just blowing thru?

I don't know yet. But the fucker ain't coming near me. I'm tired of taking his bullshit all my life. I'm done with it.

[PoseidonX43]

:hug: I'm here if u need me

[Jalin]

Tell your mom how you and your brother feel. It's the SAME exact thing for me, but not the abuse. My dad thinks he can come around whenever he wants and act as if there is nothing wrong.. when there clearly is.
If he comes around, just relax and tell him how you feel - considering he's abused you and hasn't been around for 3 years, he'd probably understand why you're angry with him.
Good luck man!

[jake8188]

well i think maybe you should avoid him and tell ur bro to do the same... it helps most of the time

[DJZS]

Im sorry about your dad. Im always here if you need someone to talk to. And if youd like help with your anger problem just let me know.

[DayandNight]

Thanks guys I appreciate it.

[Allbutanillusion]

Normally , I don't comment on the abuse area, because I can't relate and I feel that it's not my place to say anything.

But your thread did bother me , for a number of reasons and what I say may not be something you want to hear but you need to consider everything and not foolishly act out of anger.

First and most importantly, if you can get help for your anger problem, get it. as soon as you can, because you are already becoming your father.., I can sense, it in the way your thread is written. I know at the school I go to , they offer free psychological counseling for anything. You might want to check and see if you can get some help. Because you really have too much anger.


Secondly, I am not trying to defend your dad, or what he did, but is he trying to right a wrong? Studies have shown that fathers that beat their kids where beaten themselves a skids, Their thinking is messed up , they don't really deal with reality like a normal person does. I am not using that as an excuse for your dad but I think that it is something to consider.

Thirdly,like most people have said, call the police, get a restraining order, let them deal with it. Let them know about his background, but being violent is not the answer, it simply is not worth it. If you really feel like you have to get back at him and teach him a lesson or two. Consider suing him.... that's right suing, I know there have been a few court cases that I know of where children have sued there parents for emotional distress and psychological problems among other things "Some of the headlines 12-Year-Old Sues Dad Over Grounding, And Wins "and " Boy who sued parents wins $100,000 in car seat case." Just pointing out some of your options

Well, that is my opinion, at least for now. again just somethings to consider.

[TheMatrix]

yeah, you should get a restraining order. and if that doesn't work, sue him.

[Toxic.]

My father was never in my life, so i can't really relate to your problem.
Although, he calls now and then, I just ignore him.
The RIGHT thing to do would be to not hold your past against him and give him another chance. Yet, if I were in your shoes I wouldn't even give him the respect to speak to him. He honestly doesn't deserve to have a relationship with you and your brother. You need to talk to your father about what happened and just let everything out. But, if things escalate... Then that's bad.

Anyway, good luck with whatever happens. Whatever you choose will be fine.

[DayandNight]

Well my bastard dad came by today, and I pretty much got into a big argument with him. My mom and him were arguing, and she kept asking him to leave, and he was like "no. I'm gonna get you back". So when he ignored my mom and said he wasn't leaving, I threatened to him out if he didn't fucking leave. He finally left when my mom told him she was getting a restraining order / harassment injunction against him, he left. My little brother was freaked out by that bastard coming round. He was up in his room sitting on the floor with his head buried in his knees and his hands on top of his head crying his eyes out. My brother is 15, but he is so messed up emotionally from what our so-called dad did to us. My mom is going to get a restraining order, but I swear I don't know how much more I can take of him being near us. Fuck.

[DJZS]

If you or your brother want someone to talk to i'll always be here. My contact info is on my profile.

[Pancakes]

I honestly think it should be illegal for belts, or paddle, etc, I think spanking not that bad.
But as long as your mom won't take him back I think you'll be ok. Good luck

[Eagle63]

It's clear how much you hate your dad, and I can see why. I can't relate to that scenario, but from your posts, how much you curse, and your tone, it sounds like that when you have children, you will be the same type of father that your dad was. It sounds stupid, but trust me. Take anger management. Boxing. Drumming. Football. Anything that can help vent that anger. Feel free to PM me whenever, ok?

[DayandNight]

It's clear how much you hate your dad, and I can see why. I can't relate to that scenario, but from your posts, how much you curse, and your tone, it sounds like that when you have children, you will be the same type of father that your dad was. It sounds stupid, but trust me. Take anger management. Boxing. Drumming. Football. Anything that can help vent that anger. Feel free to PM me whenever, ok?

I really hope I don't turn out like my dad. I admit I'm an angry guy, and I've raised my fist to people in anger, including my brother and mom. I'm not proud of it at all. I lift weights a lot. I used to play football, but I gave it up this year. I'm thinking about taking up boxing though. I don't know. I prolly should look into anger management, because I'm always angry all the time. It just sucks so bad the bullshit abuse that my dad fucking dished out to me. It's scarred me.

[Allbutanillusion]

It's clear how much you hate your dad, and I can see why. I can't relate to that scenario, but from your posts, how much you curse, and your tone, it sounds like that when you have children, you will be the same type of father that your dad was. It sounds stupid, but trust me. Take anger management. Boxing. Drumming. Football. Anything that can help vent that anger. Feel free to PM me whenever, ok?



I agree partly, this is what I was stating in my first reply. I will disagree with the methods that this person suggests to deal with your anger. ( Maybe the drums) To use violence to deal with your violent urges? That doesn't make sense to me.

You don't need to have something to vent that anger, you need to learn how not to get so angry so quickly, to control it. And if you do get angry and need to ' vent" use that extra energy in a constructive way.., build a house rather than thinking that violence is the answer,.. I mean look at your dad, same type of thinking.

Hit some nails ,( referring to building a house comment) instead of people or if you get mad , just do something that you do feel like being mad. Because, I can guarantee you , as long as you think that it is alright to hit people when you are mad.., you will end up exactly like your dad.

[Eagle63]

With all due respect, I find drumming as a very constructive way to vent anger. You take something bad (anger) and turn it into something great if you can keep a beat (music) I started drumming at age 9 solely to vent. Now I am proud to say that I am a very good drummer (not to brag or anything).

[Allbutanillusion]

With all due respect, I find drumming as a very constructive way to vent anger. You take something bad (anger) and turn it into something great if you can keep a beat (music) I started drumming at age 9 solely to vent. Now I am proud to say that I am a very good drummer (not to brag or anything).

Well, I agree , i don't have anything against drumming. If you are able to find a something to help you ..... " vent" as you put it. it is better than the alternative, I think. I tend to think of the less violent activities, musical instrument would be one, rock climbing, or one of the better ones, go to the batting cage and hit a few baseballs.

[DayandNight]

I don't mind playing the drums. That would be cool. But I'm big on sports. I do go to the local batting cage here. It kind of takes my frustrations out sometimes. But I'm going to start doing boxing soon.

[Amaryllis]

I'm your brother's age and my mom scares the hell outta me. But you're not a victim anymore. He has his big bro to protect him, he's gonna be okay. I bet you could kick your dad's ass any day. Not that I'm asking you to. It's not worth the consequences. You gotta be around to protect your lil' bro and mom.

You're not your dad. You will never be like him. You're kinder and the fact that you don't want to, makes you way different. He can't mess with you. They have records of him. They know he's a child abuser. The police can do something about it. He won't be locked away for forever but he might be banned from going within a certain distance of your house.

Feel free to PM, IM or leave a comment on my page. You can rant, lash out, complain, anything or if you need someone to chat to. Your bro can too if he wants. Good luck :)

Faith And Trust

[FearsomeEnder]

Alot of people here say that you shouldent fight him BUT by law if he lays a finger on you, you are allowed to fight back to protect your life, dont let what he did to you before get to you and if he lays a f**king finger on you dont be afraid to punch him in the face with all that muscle you have. But thats worst case scenario dont talk to him and if he starts giving you trouble then call the police.

[predatorsfan21]

Alot of people here say that you shouldent fight him BUT by law if he lays a finger on you, you are allowed to fight back to protect your life, dont let what he did to you before get to you and if he lays a f**king finger on you dont be afraid to punch him in the face with all that muscle you have. But thats worst case scenario dont talk to him and if he starts giving you trouble then call the police.

IF his dad did "lay a finger on him" wouldn't that be child abuse? (by laying a finger on him I mean violently) Because according to his signature he is only 17...you're not considered an "adult" until you're 18.

And to the people thinking he may be like his dad when he is older this is my response:
He knows how much it hurt when his father did this to him...why would he inflect the same pain that hurt him and made him hate his father with such a firy (sp?) passion apon his children? IMO, i think he is smarter than that.

Good luck sir. :D

[FearsomeEnder]

IF his dad did "lay a finger on him" wouldn't that be child abuse? (by laying a finger on him I mean violently) Because according to his signature he is only 17...you're not considered an "adult" until you're 18.

And to the people thinking he may be like his dad when he is older this is my response:
He knows how much it hurt when his father did this to him...why would he inflect the same pain that hurt him and made him hate his father with such a firy (sp?) passion apon his children? IMO, i think he is smarter than that.

Good luck sir. :D

its child abuse its assault its not right and he is allowed by law to retaliate

[LKIFMRUG9556]

I've been told I give good advice. Feel free to message me, I won't judge you and it will be confidential.

Good luck :)

[predatorsfan21]

its child abuse its assault its not right and he is allowed by law to retaliate

Gotcha...thank you. :)

[bigbear]

If i were you i would beat the hell out of him

[DayandNight]

If i were you i would beat the hell out of him

I have thought about it many times actually.

[Riotboy]

Today my bastard fucking Dad came back into mine and my little brother's life. He's been gone for nearly 3 years, and he just showed up today. I fucking hate him. He used to beat me and my little bro Austin constantly. Like he would hit us across the face with the metal end of the belt and with his belt buckle. It fucking hurt so god damn bad. My mom had his ass arrested for child abuse so many times, and she took me and my brother and we moved. My mom divorced him. But he shows up now today out of the blue 3 years later, wanting a fucking "relationship" all of a sudden. He hasn't even fucking said why he showed back up again, I asked him what the Hell he was doing here, and he said "to see my boys and see if your Mom will take me back". She will never take him back, and I don't want that fucker in my life ever again.

I don't know what the Hell I'm supposed to do, I told my Mom, and she's pissed that I even spoke to him. I hate him so much too. He messed me and my little brother up so bad. We got beat every day nearly. It's so fucking unfair, I wish he was in jail for good. I wanted to knock his ass out so bad. He is the reason why I work out so much and lift weights all the time, because I'm never going to take that kind of abuse again. I can't handle him in my life again. I swear to God I might fucking do something bad if my so-called father comes near me again. I can't stand the sight of him. I though I was rid of him for good. I don't even wanna tell my little brother because he is petrified of our dad, even now, and even though he's 15. I don't know what to do. I swear to God I don't wanna fucking deal with him. I don't understand why he had to come back into our lives and ruin everything again. I'm so fucking angry and full of rage right now. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared I'm going to turn out like my father one day, and I don't want to. I have a bad anger problem too, and I can't control it sometimes. I just don't know what to do now he's back around. :(

okay just take a deep breath get a restraint order
A S A P he will revert to his old ways trus me my father bate me up
but thier is only one thing you need to tell your dad when you hold a gun,
if your strong you live if you are weak you die

[Clum]

okay just take a deep breath get a restraint order
A S A P he will revert to his old ways trus me my father bate me up
but thier is only one thing you need to tell your dad when you hold a gun,
if your strong you live if you are weak you die

strong words to live by dude but probably giving the wrong impression there. Get Authorities involved, they'll make sure your dad wont come back. If he does touch you, im all for your point of breaking his face :D

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Im sorry,I know exactly what its like. My father is an abusive dead beat who only comes sniffing around every eight months or so with his hand out for money. Everytime I see him, rage just engulfs me and I start to shake,trying to hold back the urge to beat him senseless,make him feel like a disgusting worthless piece of dirt,just like he used to make me feel everyday. I loose it if he actually comes to the door,because then hes in my house,not out in public when we run into eachother,not on the phone where I can just hang up on him as soon as I pick up the phone. I know how hard it is when people like that expect u to forget all the pain they caused,without even so much as an apology,dont let him get to u anymore. If u want nothing to do with him,make it clear to him that this is the case,so get lost. If he becomes persistent,tell ur mother,or if possible bring the police into the problem.

[FearsomeEnder]

Your in a bad situation but i find it wiered that he got your new adress -.-

[DayandNight]

For the time being, my dad is in jail. He got arrested for fighting while drunk at a local bar. Hopefully they keep him there.

[JayJaySpiritus]

Simply tell him you dont want him back in your life..... thats what i did... my dad contacted my sister & she was like he wants to see you too.. yea right. i told him i dont wanna know him... although good part would be i Could piss him off so much :D

Just say no Bro. your choice...your life...