i dont know anymore

[beag_amhain]

all i can think about is suicide
it wont leave my head
im trying to cheer up but its no good
i have thought out numerous ways to do it
and dream about doing it n wake up smiling
i need it to stop or i think i may do it
and i dont want to but im scared i will
i need to stop thinking about it
but its always there

any help would be greatfully appreciated

[Veto]

I'm sorry I know how that is I've tried 3 times it's really hard to get out of your head I find if I do something exercise wise it helps a lot

[disassociation2016]

Have you ever thought about your future Cecily? What you'd like to be when you grow up? Your ambitions for a family? Why don't you focus on the future and not what's troubling you now.

[Nationalexange]

Some may see it as a tad bit morbid that I sit and skulk on the psychiatric wards forum, yet as I sit here I notice an ongoing trend: People coming together, each with individual worth and talent....every person has their lot in life, a quest to complete, a role to play. To be deprived of this sole priviledge is a real shame. There is no doubt in my mind you have something great to do in your life, even when it seems like there is no sum on the horizon you have to sit it out and wait for morning to come. Because in the light all darkness is dispelled and the truth is revealed.

From a stranger to another in need. You are beautiful and loved.

[Nationalexange]

Message removed because I can't post properly

[Extreme586]

The only time I start thinking suicidal thoughts is when I have too many problems going through my head and no way to solve them, what makes them seem simply impossible is the thought of not being around a very special person in my life. Do you know anyone who makes you want to stick around, maybe someone you don't even know that well but would like too? Also I like to play sports like basketball, sometimes I just go to the courts and shoot around and try to focus on getting better at my shot, I also like to go in my room every now again and just lay down and think about what my problems are and how I can change them. An easy example is school, I feel like an unsocial loner and this often times can ruin me for a while, especially when I hear it from other people. But after a while of just feeling bad about that problem, I try to come to a conclusion, like for that example above here are some of the things that run through my head, ideas that just come and go:
-What about my friends? I have friends and even if they aren't my ideal ones, they are still people who care about me and give me that social need every now and again.
-Ok so I can be social but only when I don't think to hard about it, so when I am unsocial I am, or when a subject that I know nothing about/am bad at comes up (skiing is big where i live) I tend to shut down and listen.
-I also don't talk until I know someone for a couple of years, or even in groups at all, I just don't know how that person will react and I need to get over that fear.
-So now I guess my problem is getting over being judged by what I say, and thinking on something to long and missing the opportunity to say it.

I know this is not a perfect example because its late here and lots of thoughts are running through my head atm, but the point is take the problem, preferably the one or many that are causing you to think about suicide and nit pick at it until you have a solution of how your going to fix that problem or just a conclusion on how you view it yourself and whether or not what others think matters.

After all that, Results:
Problem: I am an unsocial loner.
Solution: (after some thoughts that I didn't post on this thread) Yes I am, or at least I was, I have changed my life over the summer and gotten new priorities, also I know that I am only as unsocial as I make myself, if I put some effort out there rather than loving the luxury of being quiet, apply myself, then I will make those friends that I have been dieing to be around since last year, and if that happens i am no longer unsocial or a loner.

Hope this helped, sorry its long have been waiting to post something thoughtful for a while. :)

[MadManWithaBox]

Cecily :( are you seeing anyone? A psych, whoever?

[beag_amhain]

After all that, Results:
Problem: I am an unsocial loner.
Solution: (after some thoughts that I didn't post on this thread) Yes I am, or at least I was, I have changed my life over the summer and gotten new priorities, also I know that I am only as unsocial as I make myself, if I put some effort out there rather than loving the luxury of being quiet, apply myself, then I will make those friends that I have been dieing to be around since last year, and if that happens i am no longer unsocial or a loner.


Problem: i cant talk to anyone bout how i feel, i feel alone when im surrounded by amazing people, i have gotten so use to living behind a mask it has become my new face.
Solution: i am still searching for one other then cutting




Cecily are you seeing anyone? A psych, whoever?

not anymore, i made her believe it was only slight depression after what happened n that i would be fine n she was so happy and proud i went 3 weeks without cutting that i could not make her sad again, il find a new one when i move out

[User Deleted]

Well, just remember that things will always get better. Situations that seem hopeless even. I am glad that I didn't commit suicide when I was depressed, my life has gotten so much better. I was even stuck out in the gulf of mexico for a time recently, it honestly was scary but my friend and I made it through it. It seemed hopeless like so many other things. Things will always get better just like that did and all the other "impossible-to-fix" situations.

So until you get a new person to help you with your problems just remember that in your future you will thank yourself for not committing suicide.

[Magenta]

As others have said, things do get better. Sometimes it seems like that will never happen but there will always be other options than suicide. You'll grow old and look back on your life and realize that you've enjoyed the time you've spent on this planet. Everyone has rough patches but we get through them.

A friend once told me that the only reason we go through this is to survive it. Why? When we survive it, we take what we've learned and we can help others get through their rough patches and they can do the same for others. Paying it forward so to speak. Stay strong. :)