Want...Need....

[Aceso]

I just want to slash my wrists. I want to feel the blood. I want to go deep.
I've been doing well but at the moment, all of a sudden I just want to do it again. I would do anything to do it again....I don't know why.
I bring everyone around me down...My friends, family, boyfriend. I can't help anyone. I'm a failure at everything. I'm inconsistent. I'm Lazy. I can't imagine my future. I can't imagine living past 18.
I have the blade right here....and a bath full of water. Argh, I don't even know why I'm doing this. I just want to stop but there's no way I can, I can't handle this. I need to do something.

[User Deleted]

This seems to have gone too far, you need to get help and support be it from doctors, family, or friends.

[Aceso]

This seems to have gone too far, you need to get help and support be it from doctors, family, or friends.

I'm getting "Help." But it's not working. No matter how much I try, there's never an escape. I have the feeling I'm going to be like this forever....so why continue living?

[User Deleted]

I'm getting "Help." But it's not working. No matter how much I try, there's never an escape. I have the feeling I'm going to be like this forever....so why continue living?

Because things will always get better. No matter what. Just take a deep breath for now, think logically, embrace all you have that is good, let go of the bad, and try with your whole heart to resist any bad urges.

[1_21Guns]

You're not a failure at everything, you're fighting a difficult battle. You're not inconsistent because suddenly you want to cut, to die again. You're not lazy, you're emotionally drained.
You're a teenager, not many can imagine their future at this age, anything past 18 looks terrifying.
A couple of years ago I couldn't see a day past 16, but here I am, not that far off 17.
Self harm is an addiction, and the blade and the bath aren't going to make it go away, they aren't gonna make the shit stop. It's a permanant fix for a temporary problem. There are days past 18, not all of them good, but some of them will be. There's a big future ahead of you, and yeah, right now you'd rather not, but you will one day, you will as soon as you realise it's ending.
You won't be like this forever, you're like this for as long as you let yourself be. Yeah, sounds crazy, because you're not strong enough to fight it, to get rid of it, right? Wrong. You are, sure you still get those killer urges every now and again, but you're always strong enough to defeat them.
Stay strong hun :hug3:

[XxMurderedKissesxX]

Paint,read,write,sketch,go for a walk,go for a run,call your boyfriend,maybe write on you arm in red marker? Its hard,but beating self harm is possible. Your not a failure,i feel like the same way all the time, but they care about you, and want you to be happy. Your only 18,you have lots of good years ahead of you full of people that love you. I know u can resist the temptation.

[Twistember]

I feel like this all the time. I've learned from experience that even though it feels like they don't care, they do. I've been where you are right now and I know it's tough. How about this: Drain the bath tub, start the shower, and scrub the feelings out; istead of bleeding them out. It worked for me.

P.s. I'm not trying to say that you're dirty and need a shower lol :p Just that sometimes when you really scrub, it kind of gets your mind off of it and it feels like you're washing the bad feelings away. I do this sometimes.

Good luck, stay strong, and never surrender :)