I've been....hurting myself.

[RoseyCadaver]

Lately,from stress from a lot things(which I know I shouldn't be stressed)and I've been doing things I should not relieve the stress.If fact,I barely want to talk about them :/.I've also ,well I've always been,a little anxious.I'm also worrying about this or that.Plus I've been paranoid.

So I have been stressed from sexual identity,animals,family, I've been anxious about everything,and I've been overly paranoid :l.I'm not one to whine ,but it's just, I don't know how to explain it.I feel like life is just the same old endless cycle,I get bored of it,then I want it to change,then I fear the change for the worst.I can hardly go to sleep.I fear that my family and friends sometimes don't really like me,or that I might just be really annoying.I fear i could be crazier then I am :(.I'm not usually a downer,but this last year and this year aren't really me peak :/.I think a lot stress and things would have to be due to my sexuality.I can't handle picturing how my family would know I was bi.....I already know how they treat gay people.

So, lately I have been controlling so my stress and problems listed above,but it's not a good control.....I've been biting myself,I've cut once,and I pull my hair out, anything that does the trick :/.I can't seem to stop either,it's just so hard.It seems like the only thing I can do to get rid of the stress :(.Please,can anyone please help me find other ways of getting out stress and my problems?I just need help....and I'm finally admitting it :(.

[Bougainvillea]

I scratch when I'm nervous,or stressed. And sometimes I find if I pick at my shirt, and play with the front end it helps.
Try doing little things like that, or even more constructive ways like drawing, or writing. I have a whole sketchbook filled with random shit that I would draw at work or when I was in school.
Find a hobby. Read a book, take a nap. Do anything to try to busy yourself in non-stressful attitudes and environments.

[RoseyCadaver]

That is just the thing,I have filled up a lot of hobbies,but then those eventfully become a little stressful.Lol how sad am I?

I think playing piano,drawing and writing,when I'm being too serious about it, are some the things that help me the most.Gardening,cooking,and taking care of animals if another load of shit @[email protected]

I just seem to absorb some of the stress from other things easily.It just seems so much easier absorbing then happiness,which I know isn't a good thing.

[HandheldOutlaw]

I'd add useful advice to this post if I could, but I'm just letting you know that I'm in the same boat and you will always have someone to talk to if you need anything. The best you can do is to try to distract yourself and remember that you are stronger than the need to hurt yourself. You may give in sometimes, and even when you don't sometimes you'll wish you had, but in the long run you are stronger, and you can get through this.
I'm always here if you need anything.

[User Deleted]

Just take a beep breath, forget about are your troubles and just for a minute to hell with them, then think about everything good in your life and embrace them.

As for the self harm, think about how bad it will be in your future if you are addicted. Scars are bad too because they'll haunt you forever. And the danger of slipping up, just try and psych yourself out of it with fear.

[Amaryllis]

Hey, it's okay. You don't have to be ashamed of anything. If it helps, I'm really paranoid too. It's kinda funny actually, if you look at it from a third person's point of view :) Like.. I think clowns want to kidnap me. I think if I swim, a shark's gonna come and eat me or a dolphin will think I'm a dolphin and drown me. I can't stand near a window cause I think it'll break. I can't even stay in the house cause I think someone's gonna fall from the sky, shoot the window and bomb the place. I think EVERY man I see's gonna kill me. And this is the funniest one: I have to change in front of a mirror cause if I don't, my hand's gonna be permanently stuck in the sleeves and I'm gonna have tiny hands for the rest of my life. Lol. Plus, I'm scared of toilets cause I think I'm gonna be Flushed Away if I flush it.

Anyway, my point is: You're not THAT paranoid. You'll be okay. Trust me. Stop thinking so hard. I know it's easier said than done but hey, I actually got over most of my fears :) I used to be scared of my reflection. You know what, just leap. Flying's learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

If your friends hated you or thought you were annoying, why do they bother with you? If your family doesn't love you, why aren't you on the streets? Nothing's gonna work out as planned so just go for it. Change is change. There is no good change or bad change. I mean, anorexia SUCKED. Literally. It sucked the life, the much needed fat, the friends, the personality, the everything out of me. But hey, I'm helping out a lot of people who are going through what I went/am going through.

Life is pretty damn stressful. Try to do what you love. I bite too and I dig my nails in, trust me, teeth and nails scar. Believe it or not. You don't want to get into the habit. There's only this many times that I can tell people "My cousin bit me" till they begin to wonder if my cousin's a werewolf.

Talk to people about it. Someone you trust or if you don't mind me, you could talk to me :) Trust me. Stress and paranoia are my long-time acquaintances. Try not to hurt yourself, kay? It's hard but try. It's easier to stop self-harm in it's early stages than to wait for it to bloom into something worse. You deserve more than that.

P.S. Nothin wrong with being bi. It's like hating on people with short hair cause you think it's wrong or calling someone Green cause that's their favourite colour or how the christians fought with the catholics. I like carrot cake and all my friends like chocolate. Gasp!

Oh just read your other post. I know what you mean. I used to love singing and art but now it's become another one of my hobbies that I use to be more "perfect". I'm a straight A student and I know this sounds racist but... I'm chinese. You know how chinese parents are. Be perfect or die :P Anyway, I keep a seperate sketchbook for "My" drawings. Things I will never show anyone. Just random "ugly" "imperfect" drawings but hey... We don't need to be good at everything.

Well, once again, talk to people. I'm not gonna judge you.

Faith And Trust

Merged, please don't double post. Use the edit button instead. ~georgiamay.

[DJZS]

Have you ever tried just talking to someone about everything thats bothering you? Like, just telling them EVERYTHING and make sure its someone who will really listen. I reccomend doing that.

And my contact info is on my profile if you'd like to talk :)