If you were a surrogate for a couple and the couple died would you abort the baby?

[ShyGuyInChicago]

Why or why not?

Assume that you choose to be a surrogate so that an infertile couple can have a child that is biologically related to you. Then the couple suddenly and tragically dies. You now have a few options: Raise the baby as your own (possibly to honor the memory of the couple), put the baby up for adoption, explore the possibility of giving the baby to a member of the couple's family (they may want to raise it to as it is possibly the only living reminder of their lost loved ones), or you could have an abortion.

For this thread assume you are at a stage of pregnancy where you can have an abortion. Also state whether you would do something different based upon whether you were a surrogate for a friend, family member or stranger.

If I was faced with this, I would give birth because I personally if I were a woman would never abort because of the thought of having someone surgically remove anything from my body is difficult for me to stomach. If the couple was a friend or stranger I would likely see if the couple's family would want to raise the child, or if I were a surrogate for a family member I would raise the baby because it would be family.

[RoseyCadaver]

Depends on how much money I had,if I had decent money I would carry out the pregnancy,if I didn't,I would sadly get an abortion.If I didn't have the money,and there was a family member willing to take it,I would give it to them.

[PartyPoison]

I would put it up for adoption or see if a family member of the couple wanted it

[Sugaree]

What the fuck? How long did it take you to come up with this question?

[ShyGuyInChicago]

What the fuck? How long did it take you to come up with this question?

This question is inspired by an episode of Family Guy that has never aired in America. It is, however, available on DVD in America.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Partial_Terms_of_Endearment

[Korashk]

I'd explore the option of having one of their family members raise the child, and if none of them would I'd have an abortion.

[Dog Desab]

luckily I can't carry children in my womb.

[User Deleted]

Well if I was a girl and this happened...

Sorry, I'd have an abortion. Keep another person from suffering life.

[Sogeking]

Well if I was a girl and this happened...

Sorry, I'd have an abortion. Keep another person from suffering life.

How would aborting the baby save it from a life of suffering?

[User Deleted]

How would aborting the baby save it from a life of suffering?

Are you kidding? The kid would be traumatized just not knowing their real parents. That on top of all of the normal stresses doesn't help anyone.

[Sogeking]

Are you kidding? The kid would be traumatized just not knowing their real parents.
Stop generalizing. Not every adopted child who doesn't know their biological parents thinks "OMG, I can't believe my real parents left me!!!111!!"

Yes, there might be curiosity. Yes, there might be some shock. But saying that the baby should be aborted because of the chance of the above happening, is stupid. You don't know how child will react, so who are you to say we should abort the baby simply because of the "trauma" it'll experience?

Depending on the circumstance, people will usually not care at all. If my parents were to tell me I was adopted, I would still consider them as my real parents because they actually took the time, effort, and love to raise me. Sure I'll get curious, I might even start looking for them. If they actually had a reason why they gave me up for adoption, and they are honest to heart good people, I would really like to know them and bond with them. Get to know their side of the family. But if they couldn't care less about me, why should care about them? If they took the time and effort to get rid of me and to make sure I couldn't find them, I would move on. The only real benefit to knowing my biological parents would be to know their medical history, what disease I am prone to catch etc.

That on top of all of the normal stresses doesn't help anyone.

If that's the case we should abort all babies that will most likely have to handle the stresses that life throws at it. Which would include everbody.

[User Deleted]

Okay... fine... it would involve selfish reasons too... dang I never realized how big of a jerk I am :(

But you can't lie that the kid would be at least a little sad.

[Sogeking]

But you can't lie that the kid would be at least a little sad.

I never said they wouldn't.

[Jess]

It depends. If I'm unable to care for a child, I'll have an abortion. But most likely I won't. Either I'll care for it or I'll give it away for adoption

[Hope4u]

If I were to ever be in this situation..then I would have already considered the possibility of such a thing and would have already made a decision as what to do before the pregnancy happened and there would be no way that I would have an abortion if I had already decided to do this for someone.

[Unlucky_Leprechaun]

Being a male it is hard to fully understand of what having a living thing in me would be like but:
I am sure that this would go beyond the legal time limit for an abortion and since I do not believe in abortion. I would carry to term and if I did not have the financial means to care for the baby I would give it up for adoption.
Now, I am sure that the legal paperwork in such cases would actually spell out what the terms agreed upon, so really legally it may not be the choice of the surrogate to decide and therefore the courts would decide or what the agreed upon language spells out

[DerBear]

If i was a woman and i had to choose to have an abortion my reason for this would be that if i gave the child up for adoption he would be curious who is parents are and / or at the least be a little sad....and i could not lie to the child

[Carly99]

No way. I wanna baby of my own anyway. :)

[Genghis Khan]

luckily I can't carry children in my womb.

http://www.thefilmcynics.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/ned-flanders.jpg

[ShatteredWings]

Assuming this was even possible for me.

Depends. If it was viable outside the womb, absolutely not. If it has even a slight chance it's wrong to abort it. I'm not sure where the kid would go though. I might raise it, or I might give it to next of kin if they want it.

If it was before that point, yes Id abort it.

[Thanatos]

First option for me would be to see if any other family members of the couple wanted it. If that was impossible or a negative, then I'd look over my financial and familial situation to see if it was at all possible for me to support the child. If yes then I would definitely keep it. If no I'd put it up for adoption.

I'm a pro-lifer, send me your hate. Also, it is not for any sort of religious reasons, so don't start feeding me that garbage.

[Sogeking]

If i was a woman and i had to choose to have an abortion my reason for this would be that if i gave the child up for adoption he would be curious who is parents are and / or at the least be a little sad....and i could not lie to the child

Why do some people have this mentality that adopted children are very sensitive and will lose it if they found out they were adopted? Seriously?

[Wicked_Syn]

luckily I can't carry children in my womb.

Amen - I'll leave it at that haha

[DerBear]

Why do some people have this mentality that adopted children are very sensitive and will lose it if they found out they were adopted? Seriously?

The child when they found out would be sad....and the small part in that child would be upset and she or he would always be slightly upset even if it is a small part they will be upset...so really i would not want to see my child hurt like that...it would be unfair and hurtful to both of us

even if it was just a little

[Sogeking]

The child when they found out would be sad....and the small part in that child would be upset and she or he would always be slightly upset even if it is a small part they will be upset...so really i would not want to see my child hurt like that...it would be unfair and hurtful to both of us

even if it was just a little

Redundancy is redundant.

By your logic we should abort all babies who will, in some time in there lives, will feel a little bit sad

Seriously, way to go in ignoring my second post. Some people will not care and even if they did (especially a little bit) people will move on. They won't worry about something as trivial as knowing who there parents are. If you raised them well that wouldn't be an issue in the first place.

Plus were talking about surrogates here, with that kind of mentality, you shouldn't even be a surrogate in the first place. You seem against adoption in general.

[Genghis Khan]

If I was a female in a position to take care of the baby and I want one, sure... why not? Although this seems highly unlikely because aside from being a guy, I don't have much tolerance for children.

[DerBear]

Redundancy is redundant.

By your logic we should abort all babies who will, in some time in there lives, will feel a little bit sad

Seriously, way to go in ignoring my second post. Some people will not care and even if they did (especially a little bit) people will move on. They won't worry about something as trivial as knowing who there parents are. If you raised them well that wouldn't be an issue in the first place.

Plus were talking about surrogates here, with that kind of mentality, you shouldn't even be a surrogate in the first place. You seem against adoption in general.

to be honest think i would be capable of personally loving a child that was made for someone else and to be honest i could not be surroget in the first place

i just think you are personally against abortion and why should someone have to justify having an abortion

[Angel Androgynous]

I, as a girl, can probably answer this question without saying:
If I was a girl.

First off, I would see if any family member wanted it. If they did, I would give the baby to them. If however, the couple didn't give me enough money, I would get the abortion, and move on with my life. Sounds messed up, but hey, what are you gonna do? *sigh*

[Sogeking]

to be honest think i would be capable of personally loving a child that was made for someone else
Then why would you abort it? Don't give me some bs response like "I'm doing it to protect the baby herpaderp" Cause you don't know what the baby wants, feels, needs etc. So who are you to say that you should abort it simply because of its potential life circumstances.

and to be honest i could not be surroget in the first placeThis thread is about surrogates and if you would keep the child if the couple wanting it died. Not if you would adopt it from a surrogate. Stop treating it as if it was.

i just think you are personally against abortion and why should someone have to justify having an abortion

You're right I am against abortions. I think its wrong, immoral, and that I think a woman should consider all other options before actually going through one. BUT who am I to say what a woman can or can not do with her body? It's non of my business. And she doesn't have to care what anyone else thinks. You're right I do believe that a woman should have a reason. But in the end, it's your body, you can do whatever you want with it.

[KylieEatWorld]

Many people say they would abort it or put it up for adoption. Well I guess I'll be a little hipster and say I would do neither. Were I to be a surrogate mother, I would be a fully grown adult with a career to support the child with. Even if the baby is going to belong to the couple I would still want to be a part of it's life seeing as I carried it into this world. I would Auntie Kylie and lavish it with gifts. However were the couple to die before delivery. I would most definitely carry through the pregnancy in honor of their memory and seeing as I carried the precious little bundle of joy for nine months I would most likely not be able to part with it. Of course, if a family member of the couple wanted the child they would probably have more legal right to it than I. But if they did not want the child or did not exist I would raise him/her as my own child.

[DerBear]

Then why would you abort it? Don't give me some bs response like "I'm doing it to protect the baby herpaderp" Cause you don't know what the baby wants, feels, needs etc. So who are you to say that you should abort it simply because of its potential life circumstances.


You're right I am against abortions. I think its wrong, immoral, and that I think a woman should consider all other options before actually going through one. BUT who am I to say what a woman can or can not do with her body? It's non of my business. And she doesn't have to care what anyone else thinks. You're right I do believe that a woman should have a reason. But in the end, it's your body, you can do whatever you want with it.

Well i will share something with you...I was born on the 31st of december 1995 but my due date was sometime in march i was born at 29 weeks into pregnancy and a week later a baby was born at 22 weeks....now back in 1995 you could be an abortion at 26 (i think not 100% sure) weeks so i will never be a person who says a baby is not potential life as from my own story and the other baby.

also i made a typo in my eairler statment i mean to say i could not love another persons baby even if i was the carrier.

So i do understand that it is potential life but well i would still have an abortion i think depending on what week i was at would depend if i would go down the adoption line

But i still think i would go for the abortion