hating treatment

[nnnnnnnnn9999]

I've been in a residential eating disorder center for 12 days now. I effing hate it! :mad: I just want to go home. This is doing nothing for me except helping me stop cut. I know I'm just gonna go back to bingeing and purging once school starts. Amd if I gain what they are saying they want me to gain I am definatly. no doubt about it need to lose at least 10 pounds. I'll be obese if they make me weigh that much!!! God I hate this.:(

oh yeah and for anyone who wants to develop an eating disorder, i know its your choice and you can do whatever you want with it. but please don't. it may seem like its helping and you are really happy, well thats just your ed voice talking and you don't really want it. it makes your life a living hell and you will never be satisfied with your body.

[xdancing_for_rainx]

This is a kinda late reply I suppose...

Sorry treatment is going so rough for you... I was in a facility last summer for my self-harm and depression, and I wasn't very content there. Anyway, there's not a whole lot of "advice" I could give, but I hope you're doing alright. Hopefully this'll turn out to be a positive experience for you, and maybe you won't go back to purging and everything. I'm sure you won't be the least bit overweight with any of the weight you have to gain/maintain for treatment... I bet you're beautiful just the way you are<3

Hope you're doing alright, and good luck in treatment

[nnnnnnnnn9999]

thanx but ive relized that eventually im going to give it up but i jsut cant right now and being forced to come here isnt helping me. but maybe in a couple years ill reach the "done" point

[Amaryllis]

I know it seems really hard and you think you're gonna get fat but you won't. If you believe you're gonna binge and purge, you will. Give yourself a chance :) You can do it.

You won't be fat at the weight they want you to be, Nicole. You'll be beautiful. I promise. Even if you don't think so when you finally are that weight, others will! I promise you. And even if they don't, at least you would have beaten that voice a little bit. That voice telling you you're fat, that you will be fat, that you're not pretty, not good enough. Fight it. Kill it. I know you can. That's that ED voice talking, not you.

You WILL be happy with who you are some day. You will if you say you will. Believe in yourself. Have faith. Trust yourself. Beat it and you will be free. You can't live with that voice forever. It's death or recovery. Those professionals are meant to help you. I wanted treatment so bad but it wasn't available where I was. It was a horrible struggle, doing it alone. But you choose. I'm not recovered and sometimes I feel fat, in fact, most of the time I do. But I'm still gonna eat. I'm still gonna give myself another chance even though each time I do, I overeat but that's okay because I'm getting there. Slowly. But getting there nonetheless.

I choose recovery, what about you?