I'm so confused..

[1_21Guns]

I… I don’t understand. Last night I was fine one minute then I went all lightheaded but when I lay down my eyes just got wider, and my body kind of spazmed at my stomach so I kind of jerked upwards, when I sat up I got completely lost as to where I was, what I was doing there. Wandered over to the mouse cage to find it wide open, I couldn't even remember opening it… and then I realised they hadn't been fed earlier either. Everything felt so... alien. Some things felt like Deja-vu, I just didn't feel myself. It's happened before, but I haven't been forgetting things as much as I have recently. At first I was looking around for something familiar, and found nothing.. I don't know what happened or why, it was almost like an out of body experience gone wrong... I'm scared..

[CaliKid24]

Go to the doctors? I would say something about it because it could be something serious. That isn't normal.

[MadManWithaBox]

Nat you need to see someone. I've told you before. You started cutting again. You've been... All the other things. Prom is over. You said you'd think about it. So please, do it?

[1_21Guns]

I am thinking about it Matt. However as usual when it comes to it, I've lost the nerve. I don't even want help at the moment. Because my heads saying everythings "fine", even though it clearly isn't.
No, no it isn't normal, but it's what I've become accustomed to, it's my normal. Go to the doctors so they can cram meds down my throat, stare until I talk? I won't even talk to my best friend anymore, I won't let myself help myself in any way or form.
So, I cracked cutting, haven't since. Don't drink anymore, suddenly I don't need to in order to forget things. Painkillers? Nah. No more than needed.
All they can tell me, is what I know already. Give it a name, and pretend they know what's going on, when they don't know anything, even explaining and they still wouldn't have a clue so why? Why bother? So people who don't even know me can make me "better"? It never goes away Matt, and don't even pretend you aren't aware of that

[MadManWithaBox]

I know it never goes away. Martin Is still here. But they can make it better. They can make it more managable. You know somethings not right. It's not a case of nerve. You know somethings wrong. They can make it better. Easier. Just.... Try it. Is all. I can't make you. You're not a child, or an idiot. But you know you need it.

[DJZS]

First, you need to go see a doctor. I know you might not want to, but it is something you need to do. And also, if it happens again, dont jerk upward, go slowly.

[1_21Guns]

There's nothing you can do about the movement of a spazm.