SlightlySane
July 3rd, 2011, 08:32 PM
It's the middle of the night and he doesn't realize you're awake. In reality you've been thinking about him this entire time you've been pretending to sleep. You've been come such great friends over the past few weeks. He's tall and thin, not a muscle man, but he's isn't unhealthy either. His hair is dark and medium length with a hint of curls on the sides. His thick eyebrows compliment the brown eyes that you're constantly lost in. His cheek bones are high and his jaw lone chiseled to perfection. His voice is sweet; it has a deep tone that somehow keeps itself from being overpowering. His speech is correct. He doesn't use the annoying slang that many before have. You're both out of high school, he's been out for a year now. With his age comes experience in life. Something that you've always admired in friends, especially those whom you find so dearly attractive. "What is it that draws me into him?" You find you're asking yourself. "What isn't there to draw me in?" You think after considering his qualities. He's handsome, caring, well dressed, out spoken, intelligent, athletic, and seems to be perfect while maintaining the essence of an all around normal guy.
You're not quite sure how you really became such great friends. A matter of coincidence you suppose. Friends of friends can be quite more eventually in this day in age you've realized. There's so many things that can happen in a matter of weeks, or even days. Relationships can form quickly if two people connect right away. Both of you connected quick though. What an amazing thing it really was. The way you can joke around and already feel so comfortable together is exciting to you. It's been such a while since you've had a true connection to someone like this. You've confided in each other about me personal things. Struggles at home, school, and with life in general. You've learned that, though he seems confident, he struggles with some self esteem issues. He feels that he is not quite sure who he is supposed to be, or who he really is in this world. It's not hard to tell sometimes, the way he seems to want to tell you something but changes the subject to new things. It's as though he has an important piece of information, but isn't quite sure how to send the message on to you.
In his mind he's focusing so much on you tonight. Unable to find a way to express what he is thinking and feeling. He stares at you. He's getting as much detail as he can find in the moonlight breaching the curtains. He's staying over tonight, and you've both had such a great day together. It wasn't anything dream like, but it was a day well spent none the less. What is truly puzzling him though, is that he knows you're gay, and he knows that you're open about it, he still fears telling you that he believes he is as well. He knows you won't judge him, or shun away from him. What he is truly scared of, is that he won't even have a bit of luck telling you that he has feelings for you. He doesn't know how he could possibly be with you if not a soul in the world other than his own knows about his true self. He's been wondering for many years if maybe he is attracted to other males himself. You have confirmed his curiosity, as he has become infatuated by you. Little does he know, you're crazy about him to.
"I've got to be brave," he tells himself, "if he can do it, then I should be able to as well." Laying on the bed next to yours he props himself on one elbow in order to get a better view of you. He can't tell that you're eyes are partially open, and that you've been examining everything he is doing. You're fear of scaring him keeps you from saying anything. Perhaps, it is truly your fear that he might not feel the way you do that makes you want to lye still and pretend that you're asleep and have no idea that he is awake and moving.
"Just be brave," He tells himself again wanting to go for it, to show you how he feels. So, he does. Thinking that you're asleep he climbs out of his bed and to the side of yours. Careful as to no wake you, he lifts the blanket and lies down next to you. Still pretending that you're asleep, you can hear the nerves in his shaking breath. You're not sure what he is about to do, or why he is so scared. It is beginning to worry you though, you're not sure what it is he plans to do.
"Just show him," he thinks to himself, "show him who you really are and the feelings you have."
So, he shows you. He puts his hands at your sides carefully. Before he can make another move; you put your hands on his, pull this arms around you, and turn to kiss him on the cheek. Neither of you move an inch for what seems like an ever lasting time span. Then, he says to you, "This is who I am, and it's with you I want to be." A single tear roles down his face, and his rest his chin on your shoulder.
You sleep beside him comfortably for the rest of the night. This is how it should be. Nothing rushed, nothing uncertain, and no fear of rejection. Tonight you both gain something you've wanted so bad. You don't have to feel alone, and he doesn't have to feel afraid.
Today, is his independence day.
You're not quite sure how you really became such great friends. A matter of coincidence you suppose. Friends of friends can be quite more eventually in this day in age you've realized. There's so many things that can happen in a matter of weeks, or even days. Relationships can form quickly if two people connect right away. Both of you connected quick though. What an amazing thing it really was. The way you can joke around and already feel so comfortable together is exciting to you. It's been such a while since you've had a true connection to someone like this. You've confided in each other about me personal things. Struggles at home, school, and with life in general. You've learned that, though he seems confident, he struggles with some self esteem issues. He feels that he is not quite sure who he is supposed to be, or who he really is in this world. It's not hard to tell sometimes, the way he seems to want to tell you something but changes the subject to new things. It's as though he has an important piece of information, but isn't quite sure how to send the message on to you.
In his mind he's focusing so much on you tonight. Unable to find a way to express what he is thinking and feeling. He stares at you. He's getting as much detail as he can find in the moonlight breaching the curtains. He's staying over tonight, and you've both had such a great day together. It wasn't anything dream like, but it was a day well spent none the less. What is truly puzzling him though, is that he knows you're gay, and he knows that you're open about it, he still fears telling you that he believes he is as well. He knows you won't judge him, or shun away from him. What he is truly scared of, is that he won't even have a bit of luck telling you that he has feelings for you. He doesn't know how he could possibly be with you if not a soul in the world other than his own knows about his true self. He's been wondering for many years if maybe he is attracted to other males himself. You have confirmed his curiosity, as he has become infatuated by you. Little does he know, you're crazy about him to.
"I've got to be brave," he tells himself, "if he can do it, then I should be able to as well." Laying on the bed next to yours he props himself on one elbow in order to get a better view of you. He can't tell that you're eyes are partially open, and that you've been examining everything he is doing. You're fear of scaring him keeps you from saying anything. Perhaps, it is truly your fear that he might not feel the way you do that makes you want to lye still and pretend that you're asleep and have no idea that he is awake and moving.
"Just be brave," He tells himself again wanting to go for it, to show you how he feels. So, he does. Thinking that you're asleep he climbs out of his bed and to the side of yours. Careful as to no wake you, he lifts the blanket and lies down next to you. Still pretending that you're asleep, you can hear the nerves in his shaking breath. You're not sure what he is about to do, or why he is so scared. It is beginning to worry you though, you're not sure what it is he plans to do.
"Just show him," he thinks to himself, "show him who you really are and the feelings you have."
So, he shows you. He puts his hands at your sides carefully. Before he can make another move; you put your hands on his, pull this arms around you, and turn to kiss him on the cheek. Neither of you move an inch for what seems like an ever lasting time span. Then, he says to you, "This is who I am, and it's with you I want to be." A single tear roles down his face, and his rest his chin on your shoulder.
You sleep beside him comfortably for the rest of the night. This is how it should be. Nothing rushed, nothing uncertain, and no fear of rejection. Tonight you both gain something you've wanted so bad. You don't have to feel alone, and he doesn't have to feel afraid.
Today, is his independence day.