Commitment issues?

[Mynameisconner]

Does anyone else feel like they begin to start the dating process with many people, but then you can't go through with it for unknown reasons? Just really bad anxiety or feeling like you're not good enough; Maybe that they aren't good enough. I've dealt with this from both genders. Is there environmental or domestic reasons contributing to my lack of ability to commit with someone?

[Magenta]

There can be many reasons for commitment issues. Some people suffer from issues to do with abandonment and think the person will leave them or have been hurt many times after getting close to someone...

Personally, I think, as a teen, that commitment is just not what we're looking for. I'm not looking for a long-term relationship. I'm looking to have fun with my life, live out my teen years and not worry about settling down.

Sure, I often think I'm not good enough but that doesn't stop me from dating a person. Obviously if they're dating me, I must somehow be good enough for them. In the case of the other person not being good enough... well, it takes time to find that certain someone that really just clicks.

As a teen, I wouldn't say these are "commitment issues". I think it's just you growing up and learning to be comfortable and be yourself with others. You shouldn't be looking for someone to stay with for years. Just go with the flow and whatever happens will happen.

I seriously wouldn't worry about it. If you can't hold a stable relationship into maybe like your thirties then I'd worry.

Go out and have fun and make the most of things while they're fresh and there. You have plenty of time to find someone who you'll stay with. The anxiety will go away and your self-confidence will grow with time.

[Mynameisconner]

How do you know when the right time to commit will come around? I know I've hurt a lot of people because of me being tenative to date people. I think that it all adds up and continues to contribute to me being evasive.

[Magenta]

You're not being evasive, you're just not ready and that's totally okay. I can't tell you when you'll be ready to commit to someone. When you are, you'll know. You'll be willing to take the chance and hang in there. It takes time and patience and you're in no rush to commit to someone. If it doesn't feel right, it doesn't feel right.

No one has to date. I know it feels like there's pressure. However, I'm sixteen and I've dated one guy. For how long? A few months or less. I'm in no rush. It wasn't going to work, okay. When it feels right with someone else, that's how I'll know I'm ready. Do I know what "feeling right" feels like? No clue but I'm trusting myself to figure it out.

Trust yourself. :)

[Mynameisconner]

You are such an insightful person :)

[Scoob]

Nathuagyn is entirely right. I don't look for a committing relationship at my age because I know I don't want one. I don't want to commit my entire sexual self to ONE person. I want to enjoy and experience life and without the restrictions that a relationship puts on it :).

[Magenta]

You are such an insightful person :)

Note that I just had to search for a dictionary definition of insightful to figure out what you meant... *facepalm*

You're close to 100 posts so feel free to PM me at any time if you need help or anything. :)

[Mynameisconner]

I think I might try the free loafing life. And I would love to be able to PM you. Your advice has helped me to not be so shaky when pondering about these things. I also have become more okay with it not happening right NOW, it became less urgent. I'm going to friend request you :)

[Magenta]

Friend request approved. Glad to know I could help.

In the end, life is what we make of it now. I'm one of those people that's learning that life is capable of ending at any time so if I spend all my time trying to fit certain moulds or doing what other people want, I'm never going to enjoy myself. So I listen to myself and what I'm ready for and want and go with that. :) It doesn't necessarily mean to do everything you can now. It means to do what YOU want now as much as you can and if that means not dating just yet, so be it. Dating is a lot more fun when it's not pressured.

If that made any sense.

[Mynameisconner]

It gave me a new outlook on my whole situation. It's relieving to have people as informed and able to impact me with your brilliance :)