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Magenta
July 3rd, 2011, 03:28 PM
God, why do I always do this? There are times when I don't want to go a month without self-harm like a told myself I would. There are times when I think I should be dead. Then I'm selfish... and I don't want to die or cut. I want a reason to be proud of myself.

How can I do that when I hurt my mother everyday?

My mum was upstairs watching the movie The Lovely Bones. I never really watched it but I know what the story was about. I shrugged it off because it's just a movie.

Then my mum came downstairs.

At first, I thought she was just showing affection. She came over and hugged me. I hugged her back but she looked up at me and suddenly started sobbing. When my mum cries... I can't say anything. I freeze up. What do I do? I'm the one who breaks down and cries even if it's not often. I'm the one who needs the hugs. To me, even if I know she's human and I'm insensitive and selfish, she's my mother. She's invincible and hard and often kind of mean.

She told me how much the movie scared her and how much she loved me. I love my mother, I do, but I just seem to close off. She said something and I tried to make a joke. I joke when I'm uncomfortable... and I blew her off.

She got up with a sad look and said "Okay, I'll leave you alone now".

I always do this. I never want to spend time with her, I never want to go out or be in the same room. I love my mother from afar. We don't get on well enough to be close.

Just the other day, I had a go at her because I misunderstood her tone of voice. Why can I never do anything right for her? I never clean well enough, I never say the right things, I'm never a good enough daughter.

Giving up is the smart idea but I can't do it. I want to get better. I'm finally taking steps toward having a normal life but then there's all these little screw ups that prove how selfish I am.

/rant.

FullyAlive
July 3rd, 2011, 03:42 PM
:hug3: (yay the cutest one)

But Jo, you aren't being selfish, these little fights they happen to most mother daughters all the time. I do it a lot. Think my mum is joking about something so laugh it off then realise she was serious and now she's hurt. It's just a part of life you have to deal with. Sometimes we read things wrong it's an easy mistake.

It's probably wierd to you, after all you're used to much more serious things happening to argue with your mum about. But most people have this happen all the time and think nothing of it, you have to learn to too.

You are good enough you are much more than good enough.

:hug4: <- clearly the best hug ;)

Magenta
July 3rd, 2011, 03:50 PM
Thanks, Louise. I realized how silly I sounded after I posted this. Well, at least I got it out.

I'm just used to having fights with my mother that are massive. She used to call the police on me or child services when she got mad. I think what made it hard to respond to her seriously was that she said how much she loved me... even if she made mistakes while trying to show it in the past.

All I could think was "Yeah, you really did".

I'm not used to normalcy. It's weird and unfamiliar and I'm used to my highs and lows twisting everything out of proportion to either extreme. It's odd to feel hopeful because I'm getting help and being able to properly rationalize.

:hug4: :P

Iris
July 3rd, 2011, 03:56 PM
You can always try again. Like go over to her and say "i"m sorry I reacted this way, I love you too" or whatever the situation is.

FullyAlive
July 3rd, 2011, 03:56 PM
You didn't sound silly, rant away all you like!

Maybe now she's changing, maybe she can show you how much she does love you. And eventually I hope it'll become normal to you.

You'll get used to the different perspective etc soon, you'll be ok. :)

:hug4:

Magenta
July 3rd, 2011, 04:01 PM
Lilys - yes, I think I may do that later... well, not exactly like that. I'll find another way to subtly make it up to her. I'm too awkward to do anything outright. Thanks. x

Louise - I'd like to think she's changing but I know it's normal to be wary too. Things she's done in the past... I try to push past it as much as possible. It wasn't my choice to live here again but I'm attempting to make the best of it, especially with new things I'm learning about my family. Blah.

FullyAlive
July 3rd, 2011, 04:02 PM
Making the best of it is all anyone can ask. I hope for your sake she is changing, sees her errors etc. I hope it works out.