R.I.P. Andrew Spencer Watkins

[HeartCoreHannah]

Last summer on July 26th, 2010, I lost my very best friend. Just a few hours before he died he asked me if I wanted to hangout, I told him I didn't feel good and we would the next day. He agreed and said it was fine he would just go four wheeler riding with a bunch of his friends. A few hours later, I think it was like around five when there was a bad four wheeler accident and a helicopter came to life flight the person. I never thought for a second it was Andrew. I was laying on the couch watching tv, when my Aunt Sandy called to tell my mom who it was. All I heard my mom say was "oh, you've got to be kidding me?!" I got up and asked who it was. She told me I didn't want to know. I said "Mom, tell me now." She said "Hannah, I'm so sorry, it was Andrew" I remember getting this horrifying feeling and falling onto the floor. I cried for months straight. It's been almost a year and I'm still no where near being okay and accepting it. He was 15. I will never understand why in the hell he had to die. He was the funniest, smartest, most kind person I had ever met. I spent every day of the summer with him. Except for that day. I still feel like it's my fault. If I would of hung out with him he would still be here and we could be hanging out right now. I'm still so mad nobody will ever understand. There are thousands of child molesters and killers, but my 15 year old friend had to die. I just want him back. I would give anything to hear him call me Banana again, or to just hear his laugh. I miss him so much.

[SeanM1997]

I had a friend die while I was with him in a store parking lot. I was devistated. I cried for days thinking why, why did it happen. I blamed it on me becuase I knew he had a heart condition and me and my friends made him run with us and we ran a lot. More then he should have, eventually his heart bursted and he was dead on the spot. We called 911 but they couldn't help him. He was 14, the most kind, helpful most down to earth person I had ever met. I eventualy forgot about it until we drove by the same store parking lot. I looked at it and just lost it, I broke down crying. My family did all they could to help me to forget about it, but I know I never will forget. I miss him everyday. I just keep stong and live like it never happened alothough I still remember and miss him a lot. R.I.P John Paul III

[HeartCoreHannah]

I'm sorry you lost a friend as well. I hope with time, we both heal from these tragedies.

[Magenta]

Hannah, I'm so sorry to hear about Andrew.

If you look through this section of the forums, there's a post about a girl named Stefanie I knew who was murdered. I can relate to the pain you're going through.

Whether you're close to the person or not, there's a strange detachment from reality. It's hard to accept that you'll never see them again, hear their voice or things like that. Acceptance takes a long time and it's okay if you're still not over it. Every year around my birthday, I can't believe Stefanie is dead and that I'm now two years old than she was when she was killed.

I know how you wish you could have decided to hang out with him instead. If you had hung out, he wouldn't have gotten into that accident, right? Thing is, as much as you think like that, it won't change what happened. In the end, you have your memories and you can honour them as best you can. When you think of him, you can smile and remember how he called you Banana. Remember the special times and celebrate his life rather than mourn his death.

Wherever Andrew is now, he wouldn't want to see you sad, he'd want to see you happy. You'll always miss him but you won't always cry or be sad. It does get better. :)

For this, you deserve hugs! :hug:

VM me on my profile if you ever need to talk, hun.

[Scoob]

I'm sorry for the pain you endured and still endure. I know the pain, all too well actually. In this past six months I lost three important people to me - a childhood friend, a schoolmate of mine who was one of my closest friends, and my mother. It has been some of the toughest challenges of my life, it's like a raging ocean. Every time I got back up and braved the storm it tossed me right back down. I lost all three within a very short time frame. There's so much I wish I could have done. So much I wish I would have told my mother. So much I wish I could of told my friends how much they meant to me.

You just need to raise your head up and remember that you now carry their hopes and aspirations on your shoulders. Now you have to move forward in life to success to further their goals too. Least that's how I always looked at it. I definitely can relate. I hope the pain gets easier for you.

[HeartCoreHannah]

Thank you Jo and Lincoln. I'm very sorry to hear about all of the people you guys have lost. It's extremely sad. I still will never understand why people so young die. It's not fair. It's hard to believe I will ever get over his death. It was so tragic. It's the main reason why I started cutting again. At this time last summer, he was my sanity. Now he's gone and I've gone back to my old ways. I'm disappointed because if he were to see me now, his heart would be broke.

[Hisbabygirl41016]

Hey I'm not sure if we know each other but Andrew a.k.a. drew was my cousin. So I know how you feel anyways if you ever need someone to talk to or have any questions message me.

[Godsdaughter]

I'm so sorry, sweetie. It was totally not your fault. Accidents happen. Who knows, maybe if you would have hung out with him you guys would have ended up getting into the accident anyway. At least you are still alive to honor his memory.
Praying for u :)

[Shock96]

What I tell people who have lost a loved one is that you have to remember the good times. Take your time to grieve, but then you have to do what he would want you to do: be happy. Easier said than done.

If everyone lived forever then our time together wouldn't be special, relationships wouldn't be important. You have to be thankful for the time that you two were allowed to spend together.

I don't mean to sound insensitive when I say this... but everyone dies. No matter how much we want them to live forever, or come back for just one more day, they won't. The only thing that being sad about it will do, is make you sad- you have to focus on the good.

Him dying is not your fault. You can ask "what ifs" for the rest of your life but it won't help. You can't blame yourself. There are countless other ppssibilities that could have happened on that day, you have nothing to feel guilty for.

You have lots of people here to talk to if you want, including me. You and Andrew will be in my thoughts.

Matt

[Atlantis]

Please don't bump old threads. :locked: