Will someone tell me

[MadManWithaBox]

That I'm still poison. Always have been, always will be. Scum. Repulsive. Piece of shit that corrupts good people. I already know. But I need it confirmed. Then when I slit my wrists for the last time, and watched my disgusting foul blood drain out, il know it's right. For me and everyone else.

Just a bit much for me now. Il make Fran happy, she can find someone better, won't feel burdened by me. Il help my family. Get rid of the cancer. The memories. The pain. Martin. The shadow that follows me. Just tell me how disgustingly foul I am. Please.

[Njathind]

Matt, no matter how much you ask, no one is goona say that about you; for two reasons. 1) no one would want to say such hurtfull things towards you and 2) They are just simply not true. Please Matt

Your not poison, never have been and never will be :hug:

[MadManWithaBox]

I already know what I am. Need to hear it.

[Love.Hate]

Now i see why you didnt want me to read this. :hug:

First off i love you. Second i really really hope this is Martin speaking.. but deep down i know its not, and i know that you feel that way about yourself. You want someone to confirm it, so when it all ends you know there was a justified reason. Well tough, there isnt. Never has been, never will be you know im always here and it hurts that i cant help you, i cant change how you really feel.

But getting somone to lie isnt going to help matters is it? You will inevitably feel worse and hate yourself more (yes that is possible). Burdened by you? Well that is nuts, it should really be the other way round me burdening you. I love helping, if i make you feel slightly better im glad.

I want to give you all the happiness in the world, because believe it or not you do deserve it.. and i know your doubting yourself, hence you wanting someone to lie to you. But you do, you deserve more happiness than anyone i know.

Your not the person you think you are, your on a forum that helps people for goodness sake! This is an act of kindness, not "bad".

You need to start listening to the good people around you, myself, nat, other VT'ers and accept that this vulgar word "poison" isnt you. Never has been and it never will be... what others did to you was poison, but not you.

Stay strong please :heart:

[MadManWithaBox]

But it's not wrong.

[Magenta]

Matt, listen to us. You're not going to have anyone say what you want to hear. It's just not happening. You have been through more shit than any human should ever deal with. You've survived horrors beyond my imagination. More and more seems to happen to you... and, in spite of that, you've been here. You've helped people here. You've helped me. You kept me alive once when I was close to my worst. You taught me to keep buggering on, something I've held very close to my heart since you told me that.

Fran loves you. Why? Because Fran is Fran and she would give her heart out only to someone who really deserves it. I believe that about her. So making her lose you would be a very bad decision and I think you know that. I know you love her too and would never want to do that even if it sometimes seems like a better idea.

Matt, if you corrupted people, you'd be corrupting the world with goodness. Sorry, not you would be, you are. You've made me a better person. You may not know that but I know it. And I have the utmost respect for you because of it.

You know how much I hate Martin for making your life hell. I'm telling you, I hate the cancer even more because cancer shouldn't even exist, let alone be inflicted upon you. Matt, you are a wonderful person. I've told you this over and over and, dammit, I'm going to keep telling you. I've not talked to you nearly as much as I'd have liked to lately and I'm sorry for that. Why? Because you've not gotten nearly as many hugs as I should have been giving you! :hug: Like that one, for example.

Everyone here loves you, Matt, for their own reasons. Don't beat yourself up. A lot of us here would be devastated if we lost you. I remember writing you a poem when I thought I might lose you once. Remember that. You're amazing, you truly are.

[MadManWithaBox]

I just love Fran. So much.

[Love.Hate]

I just love Fran. So much.

And i love you loads too. :heart:

We all want whats best for you, and getting someone to lie to you isnt what is best.

[MadManWithaBox]

Amazing girlfriend <3. But....... I know it's not right. But I still it. After everything.

[Love.Hate]

Amazing girlfriend <3. But....... I know it's not right. But I still it. After everything.

I know you still want it, but its not going to help and no one is going to say anything to hurt you, as its simply not true <3

[DJZS]

You seem like a great guy, I know life sucks, but things will get better, I know it might not seem like it will, but i Promise life will get better. Just hang in there.

[Azunite]

You seem like a great guy, I know life sucks, but things will get better, I know it might not seem like it will, but i Promise life will get better. Just hang in there.


Do you even know what he's been through?


Matt if you were poison we wouldn't be talking to you. We wouldn't care about you. As you can see the whole forum loves you and they will do whatever it takes to make you happy.

We love you, why don't you love yourself? Stay away from the mental crisis forums a bit, go somewhere else on VT, post geek stuff in Tech Junky forums, say about Zelda. Join a debate, jump into VT Arcade, just get out of this place which makes your life more pathetic. Because you get more depressed when you post stuff about how you hate yourself. You are no poison.