Losing hope... Help?

[Chris25]

Ive been cutting for bout 2 years now.. I started out doing it for attention at first.. Parents found out in a week... I told em i would stop and they forgot.. I didnt for bout 2 weeks after that for 2 months after that.. I didnt tell any1 but my gf who i trusted with my life.. She broke up with me one night and i blew up... I started cutting madly... She got sooo worried cuz she knew i was cutting.. She asked me if idid cut the nxt morning.. I told her yes.. That night she felt sooo bad and she regreted breaking up with me.. She cried out to her mom and told her mom that i had cut lots.. Her mom didnt kno what to do so she called my mom and my mom eventually found out after 2 hours of yelling... The nxt night i went to a mental hospital... They asked if i felt suicidal.. I said no which was a complete lie.. After asjing me a shit load of questions they said i just needed theripy and let me go home.. I couldnt cut for a good 3 months.. My mom checked me down to my boxers ever night.. I was dying inside and bout 2 end it all... 2 weeksafter the mental hospital i started going to theripy.. I didnt trust the guy at all... I told him nothing.. 8 months l8er my parents thought i had stopped cutting so i quit theripy.. I had to start taking anti-depressants everday.. I found a spot that was hidden by my boxers where i could cut... For the nxt year i hav been cutting over those scars... My new gf is also a cutter who just recently got caught and had to go to the mental hospital.. So far she is following the same path i took... We pormised eachother that if 1 of us cut the other would get a chance to.... I can go 2 weeks at a time with out cutting b4 i expolde and almost comit suicide.. I am curretly on the highest dosage of anti-depressants that thedoctors can give me... Nothing seems to help... I am falling apart... I need help and i know it... But i cant go 2 my parents... The same path will happen again.. And i cant handle that and i know my parents cant....how do i control the urges?????? Plz can somebody help me.. I am losing hope......

[sarahtheweber]

Oh Chris... I am very sorry about all this happening to you. Even though this never happened to me, one of my friends had to go to the hospital. He did almost the exact same thing as you, but eventually he blew up and got help. That's what i recommend for you. Find someone you CAN trust and talk to who doesn't cut. Get all your feelings out and maybe that'll help. Even righting it out could help. I hope it works...

[morbidmonkey]

u should probably tell ur parents even though u feel u cant tell them. u could even tell a therapist. i kno this advice was probably useless and i never got to ur situation. if u need to talk about it u could message me... even though u most likely wont

[CyanideGoodnight]

Find someone you DO trust, keep going to therapists until you find one you like. I did something similar, even though I was never caught, where everyday I had no control, cut until I felt better. Once I found one i did like the change was unbelievable. As for control, try running, that helped me alot too, though sometimes it's still not enough. You don't even have to tell your parents, just say you want to go to a therapist because of "general issues".

[Chris25]

Thank ya all! Makes me feel like some1 cares!! My dad used to be really abusive so me and him dont talk bout anyhing otger than how our day was.. My mom tries to get close but whenever i ty to open up she yells and says me feeling like i am is stupid... I dont go to theripy anymore so idk who to talk to... I ty talkin to my gf but idk y i feel like cutting so what do i tell her?? Idk what 2 do...

Ashley ur soo lucky that u havnt been caught... Trust me u dont wanna.. I wish u luck on not getting caught but i wish u and every1 who self harms including me can eventualy stop cutting.

[DJZS]

If you dont mind me asking, how old are you?

[northskater110]

Keep your chin up, and like everyone else is saying, be verbal about your feelings. Nobody can help you if you keep them inside :/

[Chris25]

15.. Hbu?

I try to keep my chin up bt depression just pushes me bak down and i try bt i oeep losing the battle:/

[DJZS]

15.. Hbu?


Im 16. If you live in the USA would you consider maybe talking on the phone with me sometime? I might be able to help, i've gotten a bunch of people to stop cutting before and i think i might be able to get you to stop too.

[Magenta]

You just have to keep in mind that someday, there will be a light at the end of the tunnel. It may not be soon but you've lasted this long and you're trying. Make sure people know that the anti-depressants aren't working... you could try to switch to another kind. Also, keep in mind that several kinds can take up to six months to start working.

I've been the hospital before (twice within two months, actually) and though it's unappealing, it did help me quite a bit for awhile. Maybe this might be an option for you? Otherwise, therapy can be a great way to just talk out your feelings. Think of it this way: you get a whole hour just to talk about yourself! :P

You'll get better. :) :hug:

[Chris25]

Zack that would be great but the problem is idk y im down.... Idk y i wanna cut.. So what would i talk bout??? Thanks soo much 4 the idea tho... U can message me if u wanna talk bout anyhing! I wont judge and im only here to help

Jo i try to think that way but sometimes depression gets me over.. Well most lf the time it does... Ik that my anti-depressants help bt just not enough.. And i hav been taking them for a year and a half now:/// and im sry to hear bout u visits to tge hospital.. And i couldnt get myself to go.. Scared me enough once.. Dont need another scaring and more bad memories to think upon...

Please do not double post, there is an edit button for a reason.

[DJZS]

Zack that would be great but the problem is idk y im down.... Idk y i wanna cut.. So what would i talk bout??? Thanks soo much 4 the idea tho... U can message me if u wanna talk bout anyhing! I wont judge and im only here to help


I know you dont know why, and that is one of the things i can help you figure out if you want. Then once i have helped you figure out everything that is causing your depression and feeling to need to cut i can help you with actuakky stopping cutting.

[Chris25]

Zack: thnx man!! I would like to but i just wanna kno if ur being serious?? Cuz ive been fucjed over in the past and it hurts... Also i wont be giving out my fone # to the public.. Private message only.. Can u txt?

[DJZS]

my contact info is on my profile here. And yes, i can :)

[MadManWithaBox]

The light is darkest just before the dawn. It really is. Things have been bad. Things are gonna get worse. You're gonna feel worse. But you have to keep going. Keep trying. You know why? Cos things will get better.

[morbidmonkey]

i got caught once but i kinda lied about the reason why i did it. my mom just threw away one of my blades and i said i wouldnt do it again. i'm sure my cuts are not as bad as urs are though....

[Chris25]

Y do u cut??? That happened the first time i got caught.... Dont get caught again.. Because t will get worse... Or even better try to stop...
U never kno...

[sarahtheweber]

Chris- sorry i haven't been on to help much, my dad and i had a falling out cuz of the whole cutting thing... we're better now and im allowed on the pc again. i just wanted to say- i'm here for you. i haven't gonethrough the things you have, but i can understand how you feel. text me if you ever need to talk, my number is on my contacts page