Crashing

[Iris]

Everything was great. Even more than great. And then it all went wrong :(I hate crashing. Isn't it enough that I'm depressed and miserable 99% of the time?? why cant things just be ok for once and stay ok??? And why is it that I was ok in the first place?? it just made crashing so much more painful...At least when I'm depressed things are dulled, but now I'm hurting so bad :( why cant things just be good? Why does life have to be so miserable??? I just keep trying and trying and every time I fall I get back up but no one cares about how hard I try and how much effort that smile on my face took. The world just kicks me in the face every time I try to get back on my feet. I try so hard to live and I don't understand why everyone is making that so difficult for me. Why is it so hard? Can't anyone see that I'm hurting so much and that I want to die and bleed? Am I really that good at acting? I just want to know that things will be ok, that trying so hard is worth it... :'(

[User Deleted]

Well, I don't fully understand your situation but here's what I'm getting:

Try and think logically about your situation. It is often hard to remember to simply understand the truth of whats happening by thinking logically. I know that even people who may not treat you well certainly don't want to see you gone so deep into the pits of pain. Try starting off and talking to your parents or friends, maybe if you cant see them family or counselors. Just remember you only get one life and if you have time to do something again you have time to get it right the first time. So try and sort this situation out and make sure to follow through. I know if you just keep trying hard you can have a great future ahead of you. So yeah, trying hard is worth it, why heck, if you can try even harder. Don't let people push you down, you have to be strong and remember that you can pull through. We are all rooting for ya!

[MattVon]

I'm sorry to hear that you feel like everything has gone wrong, but to be perfectly honest I highly doubt a lot has gone wrong. Now, I don't mean that in an ignorant way, I mean the way you view your life you focus most of your time on the negative side and ignore what good has happened and what is happening around you. I'm sure no matter what other people may say, there's people who are proud of you and hope to see you achieve the best. Just because someone may not say it, or does not show it doesn't mean they don't think it. I'm the type of person that doesn't really say much to people IRL when I really should because I know that I can help them out (whatever the topic is about).

View your life in a different way, try not to think of all the negative things that have happened/are happening in your life, us the positive to bring happiness in your life. I remember when I used to get depressed easily, I listened to the typical heavy metal, etc. which does sound really good but the lyrics was related to my situation which made me depressed more and made me think about the wrong so much more. Nowadays, I listen to music that's just full of joy and fun (well in my opinion it is anyway, not many people like the music I listen to) but the music I listen to one of specific band brings out the happiness in me because it's the one band that I feel so happy listening to. Eh, I dunno. Each to their own but I'd say listen to some music that makes you happy.

The overall cure to victory is positive energy. Also, check out the videos for inspiration, you'll love it trust me.

[Iris]

Vulpes-thanks for the support :) it made me cry (the good kind)

MattVon- I have depression. I don't just 'get depressed' sometimes. They are two different things. I can't just shake it off or whatever by trying to think of happy things or listening to happy music. It doesn't work like that. And I saw those videos and all they do is add guilt to to the list of bad things I'm feeling. You're acting like feeling like I am is a choice but it's really not. I can't control it. I would never want to feel like this. I just do. I try really really hard not to dwell on the bad in my life. Sometimes it just gets to be too much and I can't handle it...

[MattVon]

Hm, my apologies then. I'm always here to talk to for any reason.

[Iris]

Don't worry I know you have good intentions. And thanks.

[User Deleted]

Vulpes-thanks for the support :) it made me cry (the good kind)

I'm glad to hear it :D Feel free to PM me if you need help anytime ;)