I can't even stop it.

[Bath]

I hate who I am. I hate how I look, I hate how immature and obnoxious I can be. I hate how my mind works, and how I see things, and how this is never going to stop.

I don't like how my life is, I don't like my past or my present.

I literally have no friends, except for my boyfriend, who lives a thousand miles away and is probably getting sick of me.

I hate how I pushed certain people away.

It's so rainy and everything is so upsetting.

I'm so incredibly sad recently, just dissatisfied with everything around me and myself.

And then I feel like a brat.

I can't even type what I feel properly, o h m y g o d.

[MattVon]

I'd like to meet someone who actually loves how they look (on odd occasions those type of people are uptight snobby jerks, no offence to anyone on here who does like their appearance, just saying the majority are snobby jerks), so you're not alone when it comes to disliking your appearance. Based on your avatar alone, I think you look beautiful, nice 'tash.

How you are in life is just something you have to deal with, it's how you were brought up or how you see things that change our attitude I guess. Immaturity can be a cool thing though, just depends what it is. Immaturity for the lulz is good in my opinion. Depending how your mind works, you can use it for your advantage.

The one thing that sucks about life is, we can't just be super rich instantly and have everyone bow down to us or something like that. We just have to make do with what we are given and aim higher to achieve a better future.

Having no friends, meh. Ditto to a small degree, it's there loss not yours. You just haven't met someone that ticks all your boxes, or the friends you did have were fake. To be your boyfriend is the opposite of being sick of you, if he doesn't like you any more then it's foolish of him to stick around. The fact that he is still your boyfriend shows he does care (without touching any negative there).

You're not alone in that, I have pushed a good few people away in my life for whatever reasons, I tend to avoid people I may have known in the past for no reason at all unless they're face on to me or some shit like that.

I think you're just thinking too negatively, you need something bright in your life to liven your mood. Just takes time to find.

I'll be a your friend if you want friends. :)

[User Deleted]

Well, from the sounds of it you just need to start new again. Ill answer these in order.

If you hate who you are, just try and be more kind, make some new friends. Looks, well, there is a good twilight zone episode on this one that states clearly that beauty is in the eye of the beholder... in other words, bother everyone else's opinion you look superb. Your mind, well that's a tough fix and really the best I've found is just try thinking logically. Things will stop, I garuntee this 1000%, you just have to try and fix it or wait it out.

Then start with a new future, the past is the past and were still forging the present.

Make some new friends, go out and talk to people, and remember, everyone on VT is here for ya as well.

Apologize to the people you pushed away, explain your regret and how you want a new start.

Rainy, think of how it rings life to the plants, you cant have a rainbow without rain, you cant have happiness without enduring the sadness.

Just make the best of what you have because if you try to fix them things will always get better.


To sum it up, go out, apologize to people who you pushed away, make new friends, try to be more kind and remember how much an apology mends broken relationships. Bother anyone who says differently than how great you truly are.