Aceso
June 28th, 2011, 05:15 PM
Argh, I'm so frustrated right now. So here comes a rant....
So this is a fairly difficult and complex situation, and I'm not sure of what to do.
Last december, I found out my best friend (Let's called her J to make life easier.) was cutting. I think she had only just started but she was really distraught and had no idea what to do, only me and her other best friend ( Z ) know she does it. They were pretty shallow but it upset me because some months before i told her I self harmed. However, Z also self harmed, however he told her only after I did. Now the thing is that I feel fully responsible for this, and though I haven't seen any cuts since it unsettles me because when the conversation comes up she always says things like she wishes she had a better blade and things. I have no idea how serious it is but I'm trying to help her to stop before it starts to get out of hand if I can. Or at least be there for her. I honestly had no idea she would even contemplate it...she always seems so happy and smiley...but I guess that's how it goes...
But the thing is now this is the problem. Some mutual friends we know over the internet ( C & O ) also claim they cut, but the thing is with this is that whenever they talk to me I get the feeling like they're only doing it for attention or to be 'in' with us. Why do I say this? Because when I was talking to C tonight, she was saying things like she was proud that she was cutting, however the next minute she was continuously going on about how isolated and depressed she was feeling, and how no one understood even though I tried to console her. I was a little annoyed because she didn't seem to grasp the concept that this was a bad thing, she seemed quite chuffed that she was a 'cutter' to be quite frank, and because in the past I have told her that I purge, she seems to have taken it onto herself to claim she had an eating disorder, got down to 4 stone and recovered in three months.
It just pisses me off that she claims to be a cutter yet I get the feeling that she's only doing it for sympathy because she will say how bad she feels, and show everyone pictures of her cuts (scratches, done by something very blunt. they don't break the skin.) it will go something like this:
C: This is what I did today...I just want to die...
[Insert picture of said scratches]
Friend: Oh hun, I'm so sorry. If you need me, I'm here. Hang in there.
(This is a quote) C: Nah it's cool, im finee. I was feeling s0o bad earlier, I went loadz deeper than usual but I'm fine now. :) xxxxx <3 luv uuu xxxx
I really hope it isn't just me, but the fact that she's throwing it around like it isn't a big deal, and that she doesn't seem to care just pisses me off.
Now, onto O.
So I found out that she has a tumblr. Basically it is exactly the same thing, only worse. I noticed whenever anyone tried to offer help or support she would get incredibly smarmy, and act like she knew everything about it. Example:
Me: How did you learn about self harm? What did you use? Was the blade clean, and have you dressed the wounds? I'm sorry if I sound like I'm interrogating you, I'm just worried. Please be careful, try to stop. If you don't then the cuts get deeper and it can become dangerous due to infection etc. If you want to talk or anything I understand so feel free to talk to me on facebook or something.
O: Nahh xx who caress anywayy?;) you wouldn't understand anyway cauze you're not a cutterr (Note she doesn't know I cut...) my life is SHIT right now nd my dad is always out at work and my sister is always abusing me cause she takes my clothes then shouts at me, so don't try and preach to me babe cause you don't know what you're talking about you don't controlll mee;) and J told me about it so I decided to try it, and its so cool and it worksss :LLL xox
I guess the point I'm trying to make is it frustrates me so badly that people take something so sensitive like this and walk over it without thinking about the people who actually DO suffer with these problems. Am I the only one who gets seriously annoyed when I see people complain about how 'shit' there life is because they lost a necklace or something when there are people actually suffering with real problems AND having to cope with hiding it and having that burden as well!?
Along with that fact another thing to add to the pile is that I couldn't be more fucked off that they both seem to act like they knoe EVERYTHING about self harm and presume that because of that other people's reasons are wrong.
For fucks sake I wish people would open their eyes, Self harm, anorexia, none of these problems are 'cool'! It's not fun to have one, I despise how people glamorize problems like this, nobody can truly understand what kind of situation you are in or what problems you have unless you've been there yourself and It sickens me to think that people take something like this just for extra street cred or attention.
Gaaaaah sorry, rant over. >//<
Your thoughts, please? Am I just wound up?
So this is a fairly difficult and complex situation, and I'm not sure of what to do.
Last december, I found out my best friend (Let's called her J to make life easier.) was cutting. I think she had only just started but she was really distraught and had no idea what to do, only me and her other best friend ( Z ) know she does it. They were pretty shallow but it upset me because some months before i told her I self harmed. However, Z also self harmed, however he told her only after I did. Now the thing is that I feel fully responsible for this, and though I haven't seen any cuts since it unsettles me because when the conversation comes up she always says things like she wishes she had a better blade and things. I have no idea how serious it is but I'm trying to help her to stop before it starts to get out of hand if I can. Or at least be there for her. I honestly had no idea she would even contemplate it...she always seems so happy and smiley...but I guess that's how it goes...
But the thing is now this is the problem. Some mutual friends we know over the internet ( C & O ) also claim they cut, but the thing is with this is that whenever they talk to me I get the feeling like they're only doing it for attention or to be 'in' with us. Why do I say this? Because when I was talking to C tonight, she was saying things like she was proud that she was cutting, however the next minute she was continuously going on about how isolated and depressed she was feeling, and how no one understood even though I tried to console her. I was a little annoyed because she didn't seem to grasp the concept that this was a bad thing, she seemed quite chuffed that she was a 'cutter' to be quite frank, and because in the past I have told her that I purge, she seems to have taken it onto herself to claim she had an eating disorder, got down to 4 stone and recovered in three months.
It just pisses me off that she claims to be a cutter yet I get the feeling that she's only doing it for sympathy because she will say how bad she feels, and show everyone pictures of her cuts (scratches, done by something very blunt. they don't break the skin.) it will go something like this:
C: This is what I did today...I just want to die...
[Insert picture of said scratches]
Friend: Oh hun, I'm so sorry. If you need me, I'm here. Hang in there.
(This is a quote) C: Nah it's cool, im finee. I was feeling s0o bad earlier, I went loadz deeper than usual but I'm fine now. :) xxxxx <3 luv uuu xxxx
I really hope it isn't just me, but the fact that she's throwing it around like it isn't a big deal, and that she doesn't seem to care just pisses me off.
Now, onto O.
So I found out that she has a tumblr. Basically it is exactly the same thing, only worse. I noticed whenever anyone tried to offer help or support she would get incredibly smarmy, and act like she knew everything about it. Example:
Me: How did you learn about self harm? What did you use? Was the blade clean, and have you dressed the wounds? I'm sorry if I sound like I'm interrogating you, I'm just worried. Please be careful, try to stop. If you don't then the cuts get deeper and it can become dangerous due to infection etc. If you want to talk or anything I understand so feel free to talk to me on facebook or something.
O: Nahh xx who caress anywayy?;) you wouldn't understand anyway cauze you're not a cutterr (Note she doesn't know I cut...) my life is SHIT right now nd my dad is always out at work and my sister is always abusing me cause she takes my clothes then shouts at me, so don't try and preach to me babe cause you don't know what you're talking about you don't controlll mee;) and J told me about it so I decided to try it, and its so cool and it worksss :LLL xox
I guess the point I'm trying to make is it frustrates me so badly that people take something so sensitive like this and walk over it without thinking about the people who actually DO suffer with these problems. Am I the only one who gets seriously annoyed when I see people complain about how 'shit' there life is because they lost a necklace or something when there are people actually suffering with real problems AND having to cope with hiding it and having that burden as well!?
Along with that fact another thing to add to the pile is that I couldn't be more fucked off that they both seem to act like they knoe EVERYTHING about self harm and presume that because of that other people's reasons are wrong.
For fucks sake I wish people would open their eyes, Self harm, anorexia, none of these problems are 'cool'! It's not fun to have one, I despise how people glamorize problems like this, nobody can truly understand what kind of situation you are in or what problems you have unless you've been there yourself and It sickens me to think that people take something like this just for extra street cred or attention.
Gaaaaah sorry, rant over. >//<
Your thoughts, please? Am I just wound up?