Why are first impressions so very important?

[Allbutanillusion]

Why are we so quick to label people and exclude them from our shallow "cliques"?

I am sorry, this is just a pet peeve of mine. I may comment more latter but I am interested in hearing what you think. Are you one who take's pride in your assumed judgement proficiency or do you agree with me and think people are too judgmental, to busy grading, sizing up, etc. , to really get to know people/ each other.

If I have more time I may explain a situation that I happened to me that may make this posting a little more clearer. Thank you.



( just a side note.. I was not sure if this was the correct section to place this post in.., as it could have been placed in another, as it does not have to do with dating exclusively, but more with relationships or interactions with other people. )

Is this question really that odd, that no one has any comments, or it that it just doesn't have to do with sex , so noone is interested.

------Please do not double post! Use the EDIT Button! =)---------

[AltoVaughn]

I know I hate to be judged by someone who does not even take the time to know me. I'm bad about staying within my group of people I'm comfortable around though :/

[HellHound]

Be patient and you will get answers.Also do not double post,edit the original.Regarding your thread well i believe it's all about a 3 second chemistry that comes naturally and you can only control it by looking the best at all times.

[mrbob360]

some peple take first impressions because i think it gives them an idea of who you are i mean look at me i look 12 or 13 but im turning 18 next month so it all depends ont he person but sometimes i take first value but then thats because if i dont like the look of a person not their actual looks i wont talk to you its simple logic

[Dog Desab]

I get along with most everyone. Back in high school (not too long ago lol) I know the people I usually hang out with are a clique. Some people the girls don't like. There are some people the guys don't like. I would call out my friends for acting like douches or bitches. Especially cuz I know I can be especially weird when I'm in a more relaxed mood. It just isn't fair that people can deal with me although I know i can be an awesome compared to a person no one really knows.

^ that kinda doesn't make sense to me and I should reword it but I'm so lazy.

[Koffing]

I hate to judge someone just by one impression. But sadly I do it myself to. IDK why, just did it. But the funnies thing is, we are good friends now xD

[Allbutanillusion]

I have decided to revisit this subject because it just kind of interesting to hear people to to justify how they judge people. Or their ideas on it.

I know that they say that you have about 3 seconds to make a good first impression. ( I think that is correct) WHY?


I stated that I share an experience with you earlier, kind of to make a point.


It was a few years age and I was volunteering at an event. Anyway, they us separate in groups of two and work in a general area. Well there was actually four of us working in an area . Finally, a few days later, this lady ( I would guess about age 26) that had been working in the same that I had was paired up with me. Anyway after a short while , we started making small talk and she finally said " I misjudged you" I didn't say anything in response, but that really annoyed me. And I thought to myself... "misjudged?, you didn't even make any effort get to know me, you pretty much ignored me until we were paired up, and you say misjudged? What?"


Also, I don't get how you can determine anything about anyone if you don't take the time to at least talk to them like a human being.

Another rant of mine is , if you don't create a favorable impression within those first three seconds of meeting someone then pretty much you are screwed. You have to constantly try to prove yourself ( or prove that their opinion of you is wrong)and even after you do , usually you still are not seen as an equal.

I don't get that about human nature, can someone explain that to me? And who do you think is more judgmental, girls or guys?


Well , that is my rant, I hope that it made some sense. I do realize that not all of you can relate, but to those of you who can, what are your thoughts/ advice?

[Lawliet]

Well from a business perspective time is of the essence usually. Most often in business situations the "Time is money" concept comes into play. The quicker they are to figure your strengths and weaknesses the better for them.

From a casual perspective most people find it easier to label you or stereotype from the start and judge whether they want to be associated with you. Mainly because getting to know someone takes effort and some people simply don't feel like putting forth that effort. But guess that's just part of the way society works.

[SuperSuraj]

People are too judgemental and i for one try to keep an open mind and not judge someone with out having a conversation with them first. I feel when you judge someone before you know them you are just putting up a wall that prevents you from getting close to someone who could end up being a great friend.

[Blue63]

I hate the fact that I'm instantly judgmental. I think we all have our own expectations for different people and sometimes we get disappointed, even if it's within three seconds. You really don't know someone in that little amount of time, but we *think* that we do. We think we'll be able to predict their every move. That's why we choose to either include or disclude them from our clique. Yeah it sucks, and some people are better about it than others, but I think that's the reality.

[Allbutanillusion]

I decided to revisit this post because of somethings that happened since the last time I visited this post.

As I said , the whole first impression/ judgmental is somewhat a pet peeve of mine. I am always willing to give people a second chance. However I know that there are a lot of people that take a certain amount pride in saying that you have only one chance to impress them, and that they don't give second chances. And to me that is a little arrogant, but there are many people like that , because I have met them.

So, I pose this question to you.., is there anything good about being judgmental or the first impression concept? A unique question, I know, and I am not going to debate you. Everyone has an opinion on this and I am just curious about hearing it. And maybe in the process I will understand people more..,or should I say have a better understanding of people.


Please comment, Thanks

[unixmitosis]

None of us can escape the quality of judging first find out later, why is that? Simple, it is becoming common knowledge among sociology and the field of psychology that the judge first ask questions later mentality is actually an evolutionary hangover from when we were primitive. How and why is this supposed to help? Well only 5,000 - 10,000 years ago did civilization first emerge as it did today.

Meaning, that in a short amount of time, when looking through the evolutionary timeline, we were forced to live in cities and cooperate with one another. Before that we were nomadic and were forced to live in a far more dangerous world. The quick judgement of animals and other people meant that we could survive and respond quickly to the threats our environment dished out.

This is why the judgmental quality of everyone is a matter of evolution and not a sign that some one is lacking in character. Although people may claim to be non-judgmental, I would every penny I own that is not for lack of trying, that deep down everyone is at first judgmental and then do we become more understanding.

[Allbutanillusion]

None of us can escape the quality of judging first find out later, why is that? Simple, it is becoming common knowledge among sociology and the field of psychology that the judge first ask questions later mentality is actually an evolutionary hangover from when we were primitive. How and why is this supposed to help? Well only 5,000 - 10,000 years ago did civilization first emerge as it did today.

Meaning, that in a short amount of time, when looking through the evolutionary timeline, we were forced to live in cities and cooperate with one another. Before that we were nomadic and were forced to live in a far more dangerous world. The quick judgement of animals and other people meant that we could survive and respond quickly to the threats our environment dished out.

This is why the judgmental quality of everyone is a matter of evolution and not a sign that some one is lacking in character. Although people may claim to be non-judgmental, I would every penny I own that is not for lack of trying, that deep down everyone is at first judgmental and then do we become more understanding.


That was informative. I did not know that.. or at least I did not think of it in those terms. However, I am referring more the superficial judgements that have nothing do with survival. Perhaps my thinking is just a little different , because of comments, and things that I have seen in terms of judgmental people. I am not totally disagreeing with the above statements, I think that I just may have a different perspective ,and curiosity about people.

[HaydenM]

As much as we know that we shouldn't do it, We all make an idea of a person by first impressions. When we see someone we base what we think they are by how they will act by how we have seen people who look like that act.
I don't mind people who make the impressions as long as they allow people to change the first impression.

[Allbutanillusion]

As much as we know that we shouldn't do it, We all make an idea of a person by first impressions. When we see someone we base what we think they are by how they will act by how we have seen people who look like that act.
I don't mind people who make the impressions as long as they allow people to change the first impression.


I would agree. I think that you could simplify the answer the to question and just say that it is human nature.

I think that it does have its place, however I have been in far too many situations where people have had an opinion of me and refused to change it or aren't open to changing. Even though you have proven yourself multiple times, or proven them wrong. Either pride or just arrogance keeps them from admitting that they were wrong. That's what annoys me. I had a boss like that.

[Bard95]

Yu wil inevitably judge someone in the first 7 seconds.but most people are to egotistical and never oen their minds or their hearts to look further

[Modus Operandi]

Looks aren't usually the root of a first impression; they may be for some, but usually first impressions are based on how you present yourself in a more overall sense. Like how you talk and how confident you sound.