Brother going away to college

[prob1996]

Ok, I need some advice with dealing with my brother. My brother is 18 and just graduated high school this past week and my family threw this big graduation party for him yesterday. Alot of extended family came up for it and most of his friends as well. The whole party everyone was congratulating him and wishing him luck. He's going to Penn State which is about 4 -5 hrs away and he's going to stay on campus. Everybody was really happy for him and so am I but the enitre time I couldn't help but feel sad like I was losing my best friend. I was getting sick and tired of hearing about him moving away and leaving home. This past year or so Scott (my bro) got really close, probably better than we have ever been. He's really help me alot my freshman year. He's also the only family member that I confided in about being bi. And now he's going away to school. I know it's not till August and we've got the whole summer but still I couldn't help but feel sh*tty about it.
As the nite went on, his girlfriend must noticed how rude I was being and pulled me to the side and told that I was being selfish because this nite was important to Scott and wasn't about me. At first I was extremely p*ssed at her for saying that but the more I thought about it today, it got me thinking.

Was I really being selfish about feeling the way I did? I know I should probably talk to Scott about it but I don't want him thinking that his little brother can't handle it. I realize that I can still call him, text him, etc and he'll probably will come home on the weekends. It's just not going to be the same and he might not want to always talk to his "little" brother while he's away at some frat party or something. I don't want him mad at me and ruining his last summer at home.

Any advice you guys have with dealing with a sibling going away to school would help.

[Iris]

My brother went to a school four hours away (in CT) the past year, and only came home like once every 3 weeks. And next year he's going to Israel so I'll see him like 4 times a year. And it especially sucks because he's my only sibling and we're really close-like we were there for each other when my parents were screaming at each other etc. When he first left last year I was crying for days. But the pain lessens with time, I promise. You'll always miss him but you'll learn to appreciate every second that you can hang out with him. And texting and calling really helps. I know right now you feel like things suck, but you'll get used to him not being around as much as before and things will go back to normal. Just focus on appreciating the fact that he's here right now instead of that he'll soon be away.

[boonsim]

IKR, older sister is going to college. I suggest that you should fill the void by developing a stronger relationship with the rest of your family and friends, but not by replacing him. Losing a sibling to college can be tough, but surrounding yourself with others who care about you can help you greatly.

[prob1996]

Thanks for the advice guys. It majorly sucks but I got to focus more on the positive.

[Thanatos]

You should try talking to your bro more about it. Considering you said that you two have grown close. He's probably going to have a computer with him and most laptops have a built in webcam, so maybe you could both set up oovoo or skype accounts to vidchat when you really need to talk to him? Or set up a day/time that your going to call/text/vid/w/e him so that you always have at least some contact?

[prob1996]

Thanks. I probably will. He's working alot the next couple of days. gives me time to work enough nerve to talk to him about it.

[DJZS]

I think you should tell your brother how you feel, and tell him its really important toyou for you guys to stay in touch with eachother. Also, if you ever need anyone to talk to i'll always be here :)

[prob1996]

Update: my brother and did have a talk about him leaving in the fall. It didn't go exactly as i wanted it to but it was a start and he now knows how I kinda feel about it. Thanks for the advice!

[DJZS]

Update: my brother and did have a talk about him leaving in the fall. It didn't go exactly as i wanted it to but it was a start and he now knows how I kinda feel about it. Thanks for the advice!

well, what did he say?

[prob1996]

He said that I was worrying too much about it. That it didn't mean that he was going stop being my brother just that he's away. We also talked about me messaging him when I need to talk or just to say hi. He brought up valid points and I agree on most of them. The part that didn't go so well is that he kinda just dismissed my feelings as just some overreaction.

[DJZS]

While i know you would have felt better if he totally understood your feelings, it sounds like things still went really well. The relationship you and your brother have is special, most brothers dont have such a strong bond. I wish you the very best :)