After my breakdown I started thinking

[Twistember]

Last night I was only planning to do little. But I hadn't done it in so long it ended up being a lot more than a little. 7 on my left thigh, 2 on my right thigh, 4 on my left arm, 1 on my hip, 1 on my chest, 4 on my knee. 19. I was sitting in the shower thinking back to when I was younger and realized that I've been 'self harming' most of my life. When I was younger I would pull my hair, bite myself, pinch myself, pick my skin, or hit myself when I was angry. I kind of started to wonder if I was meant to self harm. Judging by what happened last night, I think I am.

[Magenta]

No one is meant to self harm. I've been doing it subconsciously for nine years but does that mean I was destined to torture myself into oblivion? Okay, so sometimes I do think so but when you really think about it, that's not the case.

When you're little, you do what you can to cope. Then, as you grow older, you learn different ways to cope that are healthier and don't even realize this progression. Sometimes, we learn those skills too but with more stress, our skills aren't refined enough and we go back to that self-destructive way of coping. But no one is meant to self-harm.

:hug:

I'm here if you need to talk. :)