Nothing.

[FullyAlive]

I can't feel anything.

It's weird, I can't be happy or sad. I know what I would feel I just don't. I'm just empty, feeling nothing. I can act out my reactions, I know how I want to react to things, how I wish I felt. But it's still all just an act I'm not feeling any of it. I know I can feel, I know I just need something bad enough to just shock me back into emotion. Except nothing that bad is happening, I need it too.

I threw my blades away or I'd of cut my way out of it by now. But without blades I can't, I don't have anything else. But I can't carry on like this.*It's killing me, I can't sleep, I finally got to sleep around 5, after being in bed since 12. I woke up again a bit before 9. I'm shattered but I can't sleep.

I want to feel something. I don't know what to do.

[MadManWithaBox]

Louise, I've said this enough, you need help. This all part of what happens. Please see someone.

[RockstarRocks]

I am srry to hear that. Sometimes I lay in bed 5 to 6 hours 3 to 4 hours sometimes just because of axziety. srry to hear that u can't sleep u just need to go with the flow and just tell urself Im not going to think about it. It might still be in the back of ur mind but it might help a little bit.

[Kaius]

Louise, you know this is how I've been feeling for months now. You know how you can feel, mentally you know who you care for and who you don't, but emotionally you feel nothing at all. I promise you shocks to emotion are not going to help, they really aren't. You can't go from feeling absolutely nothing to feeling everything just like that, if you did that its enough to push you well and truly over the edge..You need to start off slowly because too much emotion at one time is so much more likely to push you over the edge. Look at me yesterday, this week is the first time in ages I've felt something and the majority of it was anger at absolutely nothing, it tipped me well over the scales and it didn't help my situation at all. What you need is small doses. You need to see someone, thats the only way this is going to get better :/

[FullyAlive]

Aaron, I can handle a shock, I know I can I just can't handle this. And yesterday when you were angry you were feeling something and I just need that. Even if it's anger or hurt I need to feel it. You already know what I think I need to happen. I can't walk around like this. I feel so fake and detached.


Louise, I've said this enough, you need help. This all part of what happens. Please see someone.

And im sorry but I told you I can't do that. :/

[Love.Hate]

Why can't you get help? Accepting help isn't a sign of weakness, it's nothing to be scared of. If you need it there is no shame. I have felt like this for a bit and you need someone to pick you up out of this.. Make you feel again. Cause right now it's just like a void that needs filling, if you speak to someone then they will really really help you. I have now accepted that yes I too need help, it took a while, but seriously it's going to be worth it. It's just a small price to pay for happiness. Is that not a good enough reason to get help? You will be happy again :)

[FullyAlive]

I don't want help, all the people giving me help they assume they know what's wrong, they don't wait for me to even try to tell them. They just guess. I don't want help from someone who won't even listen to me.

The numbness is back. I managed to feel yesterday, I got someone to hurt me, and it worked except it was really overwhelming, I just wanted to throw myself off a cliff or something equally as stupid. However I'm not sure but I think I prefer excessive pain too feeling nothing at all. But I guess I can't convince someone to hurt me every time it gets like this.

[MadManWithaBox]

Louise, you're just gonna go between the two extremes. Pain and numbness, unless you do something about it.

[Love.Hate]

I don't want help, all the people giving me help they assume they know what's wrong, they don't wait for me to even try to tell them. They just guess. I don't want help from someone who won't even listen to me.


Your just pursuming they arent going to listen and they wont let you talk. But they are paid to listen.. okay yes some dont and they are not very good. But on the whole they are out there to just give you the right support.

I know you dont want it, but you might just need it.

[FullyAlive]

I already tried help I see my doctor often, she's one of only two adults I trust. And she tries to help, but she's a doctor not a counsellor. She sent me to counseling I didn't even get to meet with a counsellor. And i've not been back since.

So yeah, "help" did fuck all.
I'm just stuck like this.

[AllThatYouDreamed]

Fuck "psychiatric help", is there anyone - local or otherwise - you can trust to talk about what you're feeling, and understands enough to help?

Sometimes getting rid of the safety net of blades makes cutting urges stronger. Know since I've had mine taken I've wanted to -_-
Can you trust yourself with anything sharp, or no. Because if you're semi-trustworthy keeping 1 might not be a terrible idea. Not all people heal the same way though, it could be worse to have it there than to not.

With insomnia... Make sure you're comfortable; not too hot or cold. If you've got an Mp3 play something that's calming. Whatever works. Personally I like passing out with metal, but most people would say go for nature/whitenoise.