I need to hear it.

[Default]

Alright, so I am almost entirely positive that I am gay, I have never held any attraction to females (either emotionally or physically) not once. More recently I have started to become emotionally and physically attracted to my best friend and physically attracted to other guys.

So I know it's quite obvious yet I just need to hear it from someone else as I simply can't accept it myself (as blatant as it is). I have a few questions as well which would be nice to have answered.

I am only 14, though I doubt it's just a phase (as I have never been attracted to females), though if there is any possibility that it is I would want to know so I can hold off coming out.

Should I talk to my friend about this (and tell them what?), I know if I don't I'll never have a chance to be anything but a friend, but if I do I could ruin our friendship itself.

Finally anything else I should know?

Thanks in advance for any responses.

[Ruusteri]

Hi, I'm also 14 and gay.

Girls have always been kinda "meh" for me... I mean, they are pretty and make good friends and all that, but that's about it.

I realised about a year ago that I might be attracted to men rather than women. It started kinda slowly, and I didnt really want to accept it at first. But later I realised that there is no point in running away from the truth, so I accepted it.

If you really trust your friend, you could try coming out to him. I came out to my brother last summer, and quickly regretted it. Even though he soon forgot all about it, the fact that he knew kinda made me uneasy.

But if you are sure he doesnt start hating you after you tell him (and he most likely wont), you can try starting the conversation slowly, and then kinda hinting him that you are gay.

Also, if you have something on your mind, you can always VM me ^^

[Default]

Hey thanks for your response, it's great to hear the feedback as that it almost an identical situation to mine. I'll try meeting up with him striking up a conversation as soon as possible, really hope this goes well.

Thanks again.

[tyler007]

I agree i m 15 (and BI) and i have had great friendships with girls. Some are my best freinds, but i dont want to have sex with all of them,,,, i also have alot of guy freinds, some of whiich i do want to have some kind of sex with..... :)

BUT its different becaue i came out as BI last year and most of my freinds (both boys and girls ) accepted it. BUT i knew it was right for me.... and most of my friends accepted it right away... a few didn"t but cam around.
I think you should try both or girls at least befor you decide and "LABLE" yourself say gay.

[Default]

Thanks for your feedback as well, as your point stated I was not planning on labeling myself yet as it may not turn out to be who I truly am, or maybe it is. I simply needed help accepting that it certainly is a possibility (to be clear, I don't have a problem with being Gay, Bi or Str8, just haven't thought of myself as anything but str8 until recently.).

Anyways thanks again for your feedback, though what do you mean by trying girls? I don't think I could morally deceive someone telling them that I am interested in them to 'try' them.

[LuckyLuke]

Hey Default :),

I think I may have been through what you're experiencing now...

It was a rare time that I'd "check a girl out", it'd be once in a very rare moon but whenever about town, I'd look guys up, down, and all over ;). It didn't matter how gorgeous the girl, she just wouldn't appeal to me.

I would ONLY watch gay porn, I'd try straight porn once in awhile but rarely was it a turn on.... My friends mainly consisted of girls and that's all I really ever saw them as, friends. I didn't really want to ask anyone out because it just didn't appeal to me...

But as I age I find myself more and more attracted to girls and less towards guys. It's really %#@*^$ confusing. Whenever I'm out now, instead of looking at guys, I get turned on by girls. I love their legs, and smiles, etc.

What I'm trying to say is, maybe it's a phase, maybe it's not. It's possible that you'll grow out of it, it's also possible that you don't. If I were you and I NEEDED to tell someone, I'd express what I'm feeling to someone IN PERSON who you can confide in and tell them what you're going through.

[Shenron]

It seems to me like you know your stuff and you know what you are talking about. This impresses me as most people who ask this question expect us to define who they are. Having said that, there is a strong chance that you are gay. But, you are 14 and at that age there are hormones raging around your body making you attracted to things. You are naturally attracted to things as it is but these hormones can and often do make you attracted to more or different things. This goes beyond age and gender. This extends to things of all nature (looks, race, clothes, personality etc.) I would hold of on coming out except to a very select number of individuals. Tell them you think you are gay, but you are uncertain. As to why you have never been attracted to girls, that could be for any number of reasons. I would wait a while because you just might find that you are attracted to girls later. As to talking to your friend, you are correct. It could very well ruin your friendship. Don't listen to "if he is a true friend he will understand" because he may not. If he doesn't and you lose him, that would suck because his is your best friend. If you feel you must talk to him, drop subtle clues, see what he says. Move on to less subtle things. You know, test the water before you dive in.

I hope I helped, pm me of you need help or have questions.

[Default]

Thanks once again for all the input, great to hear all this information.

I have decided not to tell anyone else yet, but mostly because I would probably not actually go through with it. I figure that I've been in silence for this long a bit longer won't hurt. As for dropping hints I've been doing that for awhile, so far I can't get him to say anything, usually laughing off/not picking up on the hint.

Probably doesn't help that I've been pretending to notice girls out in public.

Also, as per your above point, my friend has a very similar personality to my own and I know people are attracted to people similar to themselves. Very
few girls are hardcore gaming nerds who enjoy Science Fiction.

More confused then I intially was. :confused:

--

Anyways, another question I have about this. Anyone who has experienced anything similar. If you grew out of this phase approx. when did you grow out of it?

I know this would be different for everyone but I like statistics.

[LuckyLuke]

Thanks once again for all the input, great to hear all this information.

I have decided not to tell anyone else yet, but mostly because I would probably not actually go through with it. I figure that I've been in silence for this long a bit longer won't hurt. As for dropping hints I've been doing that for awhile, so far I can't get him to say anything, usually laughing off/not picking up on the hint.

Probably doesn't help that I've been pretending to notice girls out in public.

Also, as per your above point, my friend has a very similar personality to my own and I know people are attracted to people similar to themselves. Very
few girls are hardcore gaming nerds who enjoy Science Fiction.

More confused then I intially was. :confused:

--

Anyways, another question I have about this. Anyone who has experienced anything similar. If you grew out of this phase approx. when did you grow out of it?

I know this would be different for everyone but I like statistics.




I started to "grow out of it" at around 17... but this may just be a phase. I really don't know if I'm going to turn out bi, gay, or straight. I'm not really all that interested in men now but you never know what's going to happen.

[eoldenavy]

yeah,i am

[Default]

yeah,i am

You are what?

[TheSleepingInsomniac]

I have a friend who was gay but as time went on she noticed she had feeling for woman and i say she because she came out as a trans woman at 22.
Sexuality is not set in stone, as we grow and learn about ourself we discover who we are attracted to.

[LoginLeo]

Heya..
It seems that you are gay...
Just one thing i can say about it - whoever you are, gay, bi, straight, or anything else, that's u... I mean - u must accept yourself whoever and whatever you are, and feel. Because - that's u... And if u don't accept yourself, no-one will..
So... That's you, you are gay, and u have to admit it, and just love it :)
So.. Good luck man :)
Ohh and i really advise you not to talk to your friend about what you feel towards him... I think that it will just ruin your relationship...
Good luck ! :)