I crave it

[Alexithymia]

I crave the feeling. It's been... about a week? But it's been much, much longer than that it my mind. I have no -real- blade anymore, so I'm stuck with scissors, steak knives, and whatever else I can find around the house. I try distracting myself, but it just comes back worse. I need a long term/short term solution that will help boos my willpower. Because, honestly, it's not enough for me. I know that tonight, I'm going to have the scissors in my hand, my thighs exposed. I'm going to slowly run the blade across my skin, but not with pressure. Just so I can feel the cool metal. And... I'm not sure what I'm going to do after that. Maybe I'll cut; maybe I'll stop. I just know that if it's not tonight, then it's going to be sometime soon.

[DifferentTides]

I actually perfectly understand what you mean. I managed to hide my pocket knife which i would usually use to use awhile back, and then when those feelings which made me want to cut came along I would just crave the knife, and i would go searching for it. And If i couldn't find it, i would try to find something else. It's a strong craving. Even if it's just a pair of scissor runnning across your skin, it will eventually become a pair of scissors attempting to pentrate your skin.

Find something FUN to do. Play a game, listen to some music, talk to someone. ANYTHING BUT THE SELF HARM!

[Magenta]

Hey Mark.

I know how you feel. You know that even if you do cut and you do slip up, you should still be proud of whatever you achieved. You know that stopping is better in the long-run so I won't bore you with that. As for distractions... listen to happy, energetic music (the most annoying tune you can find!) or write me an email. Or write a story and email it to me!

Good luck, hun. :hug:

[Love.Hate]

This is perfectly normal I'm just the same.. Crave that pain. It's not good but when your in that minset you feel like you want it you need it. Try and pull through this feeling, it does pass just give it time.. I feel like this on off now. You don't need this remember that, stay strong :)

[Alexithymia]

Sorry I haven't posted. My mind is a bit insane right now. Like I said in the other thread, my mom knows about this now. So I can't anymore. Ugh... I don't know how much longer I can be here, on VT. It's helped me through so much, and I hate not giving help to others... But the talk of the first aid, the "Day 0", the new posts. It's all triggering. And I don't mean this in a bad way. People can, and SHOULD, post here for help. It's me that's got to go. I'm just going to get myself in trouble. I'll stick around for however long I can, but when I need a break, I'm going to have to take it.

(P.S. People who are new and reading this-- post! It's what we're hear for.)