You can just ignore this, I guess.

[screamtobeheard]

Really. I'm not even kidding. Just ignore this, because it's probably a waste of your time to read it.

I feel like complete and utter shit. I'm an awful person. I'm stupid. And fat. And ugly. And nothing I ever do is right, or good enough. Everyone tells me differently, but I don't believe them. My boyfriend says I work too hard. And that I'm good at everything. And he's not the only one who says that, but I just have to keep working and working and getting nothing out of it. I only got a fucking 1980 on my SATs the second time around. And I was doing so well with losing weight. But then I gained it all back because I started feeling bad. I hate myself. I hate my guts. I hate how stupid I am. I hate how hard I try. I hate that I'm never the best at anything. I hate that I'm average. I hate that I can't be perfect. I hate that my boyfriend deserves better than me. I hate that I feel like this. I just want to sleep forever. And never wake up. I never want to eat again. I want to die. Just...honestly, if I could find the right pills around here...

Sorry, if you read that. I warned you.

[Lethe]

I feel the same way about myself, Amanda. But I don't have a boyfriend; you have something I will never have. Take comfort in the fact that you have someone who cares for you :). Despite how you feel about yourself, knowing that someone loves you should be a good sign that you are wrong about your feelings. We are our worst critics, truly.

[DifferentTides]

You are not an awful person Amanda. The fact that you can admit to having things wrong in life is not weakness, but strength. You are NOT stupid, you are smart. You are NOT fat, you are the perfect weight. And you are NOT ugly, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!!!!! And even though i have never met you, you are perfect the way you are.

Please don't hate yourself, cause its the emotions you hate. It scares me when i have those thoughts, cause it can be a trigger to bad things. Don't give up on yourself, cause people believe in you :) Stay strong girl!

[User Deleted]

Please, please, hear me out. I know that sometimes we people can become weak, we hate everything including ourselves. But just have strength enough to remember that nobody sets your standards. You are not fat, your metabolism may just be slow (which is a surefire way to gain weight as a teen which will be lost and gained in natural spurts). You are smart, just be the best you can be and have fun that's all that matters. Put all that is feeding on you aside and just think logically, for until you feel you really have yourself sorted, and metaphorically just get back up on the horse of life.

If you feel you cant get well alone, talk to your friends and family, feel free to cry it out if it helps. Anything that will get you happy again is what everyone wants for you, just remember that. There will always be family who loves you and friends who care for you too. Everyone who will ever matter in your life, your family and friends, think well of you I know it, so just look up and think how good you actually have it. To even be well fed enough to get fat is so much more than so many people ask.

[davisbr2]

i have felt like that multiple times try to tough it out an get through it

[Thanatos]

Just a small thing but yeah, I only got a 1930 on the SATs and that is the highest out of my 6 closest friends. So there's 7 people you are smarter than.

[screamtobeheard]

Thank you all so, so much. You all make me feel a little bit better about myself. I guess I just have to learn to think more positively about myself.