Writing how I really feel.

[Tenkotsu]

So after all my life of being shy, quiet and not very emotive or expressive at all I decided to write a "letter" to my mother to tell her about a lot of stuff that I have in my mind. I thought about it after a problem I had with my father, my mother noticed that and the next day came to my room to talk with me about it. Since I didn't want to talk about it at that moment I decided that the only way that I could talk and say everything I have to say was writing it and then telling my mom to read it, that way I won't be interrupted by her or anyone and lose where was I when I tried to speak.

Anyway this isn't a "letter" about "how I hate my life, I hate everything" and such I'm trying to tell my mother things that bother me, why I'm so quiet, why I never bother to say how I feel, why I can't really trust them, why I'm not happy and such, stuff that happened to me that affected me and how, why I'm mad at some things they do, but trying to come as objective as possible. Although I can't avoid feeling that "everyone's against me" and how they let my brother do some stuff and I'm punished if I do them, but I'll see what I do about it.

It's about 6 pages long, since I guess sometimes I wasn't sure how to make it short and give all the details, although I won't exactly come out to her about absolutely everything, I guess it depends on what's her reaction, I'm not sure about it.

Do you think it is a good idea? Writing what's wrong with you and what you can't say so your parents can read it? I know talking about it may be better, I tried but it didn't seem to work at all, most of the times I didn't say anything and it was my parents interrupting me.

I think this might make everything weird around my house if they know how I really feel about some stuff and it might change a lot of this permanently (maybe), so what do you think?

[Lethe]

Yes, I believe it is a good idea :). If you cannot convey how you feel to her with speaking, you can give her everything you think and feel on paper. It may not hold the same emotional charge as actually talking about it, but with all of your issues there for her on paper, she can at least be more informed and can come to understand you a bit more. Even if you aren't telling her directly, it is your words and that is what makes it so important.

[User Deleted]

Writing is a good way to express your thoughts in a nonverbal way. It is good for family to know there things because they can help you. They are family and if they are not total abusive freaks they will still love you too. Its a great idea :D

[Tenkotsu]

Thanks for the support, yes it seems like a good idea although I'm still afraid that whatever I put might change the mood a lot in my house, maybe change permanently the situation in my family. I'm afraid that it might make my mother feel sad or blame herself or something like that.

[Lethe]

If it changes, then all for the better. Your family needs to understand your feelings so that they can treat you the way you need and deserve to be treated.

[Tenkotsu]

Update: Well, it took me some time to get some courage to tell her about it, but I did this last thursday, she just went to my room and let her read that while I watched tv, worried outside of what she would say or think.

After she finished reading (I think) she called me to my room and she began with the part she agrees with 100%, my brother complains too much about everything and I was sick of it, she hears him sometimes complaining, but I pretty much hear it all the time and it's very annoying. After that she mentioned that I was exaggerating (ok a lot of things ended up being hiperboles, yes) and that she couldn't totally understand since even though she was a teenager once, she worked and studied a lot so she was busy and didn't really became sad about things that happened to her.

Although it didn't feel that anything was accomplished, despite the fact that I spent some time writing it, she wants to talk another time, maybe she'll think about it, I don't know, at least nothing bad happened.