Abuse stuff.

[Maeria]

Some traumatic experiences really fucked me up. A lot. Particularly, my father was troubled in the past and always took out his stress and anger on his family..
He tried to push me down the stairs a year ago I believe, then we got into this fist fight and I fell down and landed on the floor screaming. I fought back.. moved in with my aunt, but found out she was sort of..strange and evil.

it's been over a year, and now we're(mom, dad) on good terms. it's awkward but my parents and I have individual therapy and family therapy.

I still feel like he fucked up my life and he still makes me afraid. I don't know why. Ever since then, I ruined my whole life. I dropped out. Panic attacks, 5150's and bad relationships occurred and basically my whole life and friendships ended up being ruined. My dad still looks down on me for being depressed, doesn't know why I'm depressed, accuses me of putting this upon myself, and he thinks he knows the answer to my depression but he doesn't.

I still wish he would go away, after all..I don't want to be close to him, I just want to be on good terms. How can I move on from this? ><

[Magus]

In any of the instances, I would steer clear from Father. I bet he himself has more trouble to deal with, and maybe, he throws all on you. But for the moment, be strong, and let that get into you. Just put a space between you and him, don't give him chances to abuse you more, where you are already suffering.

[1_21Guns]

It's a tricky one, my father was kind of the same in taking out his past on me, however my parents broke up as a result of it. It's a hard thing to move on from, but it's also something which takes time. These days I don't want to see my father again after what he did to me, but if you want to be on good terms with him, then do it. But he shouldn't be looking down on you like that, what you've suffered is in no means your fault, perhaps it's time to rise above it and show you're willing to be a better person and see how it goes

[Mynameisconner]

You've done nothing wrong, and there is nothing wrong with you. You're dealing with things that are not your fault. You don't have to embrace your father just because someone's telling you too. If he traumatized you, that is normal for things that you described. If you need any help getting through that let me know!