Strength
June 23rd, 2011, 12:49 AM
im not going to type up some long wall of text i'd rather keep things simple and to the point. if you have a question however ill try my hardest to answer...
all my life since i can remember ive always had feelings of sadness and uncontrollable anger for no obvious reasons. half the time there is no reason for such feelings and other times i'd get depressed for a week over the littlest thing.
and lately for the past 3 months my anger has been getting much worse and once again, no known reasons for it.
this isn't a passing thing or a phase im going through this has been something ive had to deal with my whole life but the most intense time of it was when i was around 14 and 15 and i put my "major depression" down to being severely bullied in high school to the point where i dropped out and had to be put on strong anti psychotic pills.
i had these feelings at a younger age also.
then for a few years things settled down a little bit but now all the crap i had to deal with before is coming back to haunt me.
every day from the moment i wake i feel anger and contempt i feel like the world is against me and no one can help me. i admit i cant even help myself, ive tried and failed i see doctors and will be put on anti depressents soon but i doubt its going to help considering they didnt help me much last time.
i feel like my life is never going to improve. and its not asif theres actually anything bad in my life or ever was anything bad (apart from the bullying in high school) i live in a good home roof over my head and food and plenty of things to keep me busy and many good friends i feel like i can trust but my anger and depression always seem to sneak up on me and i get these strong feelings for no obvious reasons.
i just feel like i cant win and ending my life would be the best option in a hopless situation like this.
i wouldnt do it however im way to scared of dying.
im rambling on i guess i just need to hear what other people think of this situation im in.
thanks.
all my life since i can remember ive always had feelings of sadness and uncontrollable anger for no obvious reasons. half the time there is no reason for such feelings and other times i'd get depressed for a week over the littlest thing.
and lately for the past 3 months my anger has been getting much worse and once again, no known reasons for it.
this isn't a passing thing or a phase im going through this has been something ive had to deal with my whole life but the most intense time of it was when i was around 14 and 15 and i put my "major depression" down to being severely bullied in high school to the point where i dropped out and had to be put on strong anti psychotic pills.
i had these feelings at a younger age also.
then for a few years things settled down a little bit but now all the crap i had to deal with before is coming back to haunt me.
every day from the moment i wake i feel anger and contempt i feel like the world is against me and no one can help me. i admit i cant even help myself, ive tried and failed i see doctors and will be put on anti depressents soon but i doubt its going to help considering they didnt help me much last time.
i feel like my life is never going to improve. and its not asif theres actually anything bad in my life or ever was anything bad (apart from the bullying in high school) i live in a good home roof over my head and food and plenty of things to keep me busy and many good friends i feel like i can trust but my anger and depression always seem to sneak up on me and i get these strong feelings for no obvious reasons.
i just feel like i cant win and ending my life would be the best option in a hopless situation like this.
i wouldnt do it however im way to scared of dying.
im rambling on i guess i just need to hear what other people think of this situation im in.
thanks.